Top twelve reasons homosexual marriage..

Discussion in 'Random Chat' started by Jila, Apr 16, 2004.

  1. #1
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    WARNING: THIS IS A JOKE

    Top twelve reasons homosexual marriage should not be legal


    1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

    2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

    3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

    5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

    6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

    7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That's why we have only one religion in America.

    8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

    11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.

    12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

    [/Deep Sarcastic Irony]
    ^how's that?^
     
  2. #2
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    I disagree with everything that's on this list. Forget the stupid "God created Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Steve." quote. Who ever said what was natural and what wasn't? Just because you think so, right? But does that still make it right?
     
  3. #3
    Will

    Will bread crumbs & white stones LPA Addicted VIP

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    Anya.........

    This is a joke............

    Attention: This is NOT to be taken seriously.

    I think.

    :lol:
     
  4. #4
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    yeah.. its a joke
     
  5. #5
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Oh. I knew that. :mellow:



    Sorry, Pyro. :embarassed:
     
  6. #6
    Leslie

    Leslie huh? LPA Super Member

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    Aaaah, something interesting to talk about in my Queer Theory class... Pyro, do you have the source?
     
  7. #7
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Sorry again, Pyro. I just have really strong views with 'gay rights'.




    I feel stupid now. :unsure:
     
  8. #8
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    uh, somewhere on youthink.com

    anya: haha its okay
     
  9. #9
    Leslie

    Leslie huh? LPA Super Member

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    Cool, thanks.
     
  10. #10
    Whimsicality

    Whimsicality I broke the dam.

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    This rules the universe. :D
     
  11. #11
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Whoever wrote that nailed it right on. :lol:


    And for anyone whos confused, the whole list is a deep sarcastic irony.
     
  12. #12
    Anya

    Anya Lost LPA Super VIP

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    Yeah. But it just so happens that I have a shield of some sort, blocking any case of "Deep Sarcastic Irony" for me actually know it was a joke..

    If that even made sense..
     
  13. #13
    Glenn

    Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

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    how the hell were we suppose to know that this was a joke?
     
  14. #14
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    I mean comon, just read it.

     
  15. #15
    Glenn

    Glenn Super Member LPA Super Member

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    I mean comon, just read it.

    [/b][/quote]
    I don't know, I know the majority of people here agree with gay marriages but some people have different opinions. It was expecting us to know that he was kidding. Sorry just thought that was stupid.
     
  16. #16
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    I don't know, I know the majority of people here agree with gay marriages but some people have different opinions. It was expecting us to know that he was kidding. Sorry just thought that was stupid. [/b][/quote]
    its more like mockery than a joke

    like..
    obviously thats not true so i guess i was assuming if you read it completely you would realize that


    .. and im a girl
     
  17. #17
    Matt

    Matt Official Ghost of the LPA LPA Super Member

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    Exactly. Since when is it against the law for blacks to marry whites?
    BTW, I'm not racist, so you don't often here me say black.
     
  18. #18
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Exactly. Since when is it against the law for blacks to marry whites?
    BTW, I'm not racist, so you don't often here me say black. [/b][/quote]
    It isnt. Everything that list said was intentionally false. Its a whole irony to prove the point that gay marriage is not wrong.
     
  19. #19
    Jila

    Jila Super Member LPA Super Member

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    i edited that thing so it says "Deep Sarcastic Irony"
     
  20. #20
    hmartin84

    hmartin84 Well-Known Member

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    Man, if this wasn't meant as joke then I could go on and on about this little list forever! The only thing that's really funny about it is the pathetic reasons! The only legitimit (sp?) reason to not allow homosexual marriage is for religous reasons and that's not even a strong reason. A lot of people these days aren't religous! Moi included!
     

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