The Venting Out Thread

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Squish Mitten, Aug 17, 2014.

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  1. #61
    Decay

    Decay Well-Known Member

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    Being unique, aka yourself, is what makes you normal.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
  2. #62
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    I don't even know what "normality" is, really.
     
  3. #63
    brady

    brady I am the LPA LPA Super Member

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    This has been something that has been bothering me quite a bit. Coming from a 14 year old boy in 9th grade, I've realized that there is no such thing as opinions. You like something other than modern rap or dubstep? You have a shitty taste in music. You play video games other than Call of Duty or sports games? You have a shitty taste in video games and you're a nerd. You own a pair of headphones other than beats? You're just too poor to buy a quality pair of headphones.

    It's stuff like this that not only pisses me off, but also makes me wonder, what happened in having a genuine opinion? The only reason so many people listen to rap is because that's what's cool today. I get mocked almost daily for listening to Linkin Park. Once at an away game for soccer while we were warming up, they were some punk rock music no one really liked, and I expressed my opinion and said that the music was terrible. And a bunch of people immediately jumped on me. "Well Linkin Park is just as bad as this," and " Well how is this any different from Linkin Park? They're both screamo." After they said that, I just didn't say anything to them cause I knew there was no way to get through their thick skulls.
    I could honestly just rant on and on, but I think I've made my point. Don't have opinions, or be an outcast. K? k.
     
  4. #64
    Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    High school summed up in one sentence. I know it sucks, but that'show it is.
     
  5. #65
    Gibs

    Gibs The Prog Nerd Über Member

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    That sounds fucking awful. I did not have a high school experience like that at all. People at my school either liked each other, or left each other alone. People at my school generally respected each other. I've always heard these stories about bullying in such across the country, but I've rarely seen that in my experience in where I went. #WeirdSchool

    Having such a mixture of tastes there probably led to that, partially.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2014
  6. #66
    hawk

    hawk because the internet LPA Super VIP

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    that's why you have an opinion but keep it to yourself.
     
  7. #67
    travz21

    travz21 Muscle Museum LPA Super Member

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    You should stop looking to other people for a reassurance of your self-worth. It's a very common problem for not only teens, but humans in general. We want people to like us and we want people to like or simply respect our opinions because it makes us feel like we're doing something right in life. But your main goal in life is to be happy with your decisions and to live on your terms. You determine your self-worth, not the rest of the world.

    It's like how some people jump from relationship to relationship trying to find that one person who will make them "whole". Or maybe not even that. Maybe being alone just makes them feel worthless. But if you're not fully happy with yourself being an independent person, you'll never really be whole with a significant other.

    And that's a big problem all of us face in life. Some look for a girlfriend/boyfriend for reassurance that they're worth something. Some look at their popularity. But the individuals that truly master self-esteem are the ones that look deep into themselves. And when that happens, it doesn't matter if you're single or taken, popular or unpopular. The outside world won't change your belief in yourself.



    I was similar to you in high school. I got made fun of for listening to Linkin Park (even 12 years ago!), teased for being quiet, and overall felt like nobody really noticed me much. And it bothered me. Being alone didn't bother me much though. Even now, at 26, I feel like most people are annoying. I've always liked my alone time to reflect. But when I do find someone that I like, our bond is pretty strong. I think quality is more important than quantity. Being alone for long periods in life isn't always a bad thing. It gives you more free time to better yourself.

    Back in high school I reflected a lot. And eventually I came to the conclusion that I was a good person. Being quiet wasn't bad. Listening to Linkin Park wasn't bad. Having acne wasn't bad. I was interesting, too. I was pretty smart and had some cool hobbies. Overall, I realized I was just as good of a person or better than everyone else. If people wanted to make fun of me, that was a flaw of theirs, not mine. Kids that tease or bully have major insecurities. Letting flawed people like that determine my self-worth didn't make sense anymore. So eventually I just stopped caring what everyone thought altogether. I made choices that I knew would improve my character, and if other people liked me because of it that was just icing on the cake. If they didn't, I still knew what I was doing was right for me.

    And when I started living that way, I would walk down the hallways and actually look at people more. And I realized that this entire time people were looking back. They noticed me this whole time. They knew who I was. I was never really alone to begin with. And in college (when Facebook just became a thing) I'd get quite a few past high school classmates saying how they had crushes on me and how they wished I would have said something back then. Even when I thought nobody noticed me, here were these girls that liked me. It was a crazy revelation about what I thought were my loser years.

    So no matter how you feel or how isolated you think you are, I guarantee there's people that like you and notice you exist. But that's not the main point. The point is for you to like you.


    I wish I had more time to word this more eloquently, because it's a hard point to get across, but I hope I did well enough to start.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2014
  8. #68
    Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    ^Good stuff.
     
  9. #69
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    I don't really have much words to actually say and I'm not going to address anyone in this thread specifically.

    I really hate that our friendship ended. I know it's completely rational that it had to and that I made a mistake in sort of having said some very hurtful things, the thing is I was pretty much hurting immensely myself at the time and was highly responsible to anything that I could somehow put in a negative light, and at the time, that was everything. I mean, the catalyst of my outbreak was the first time I had experienced a high amount of grief in my adult life. Place that atop of health concerns and stress out of the wazoo, it was implausible to think that I could begin to be completely emotionally stable.

    That is not to say I don't deserve it, because surely I do. Still, now instead of one friend I've lost two and in both cases I can not remedy the relationship, try as I might. Harder is the fact that my late friend is the one who introduced me to the one whom I had a fallout with. It's been almost six months but still, I think can't stop thinking about you, I miss you.
     
  10. #70
    Filip

    Filip god break down the door LPA Contributor

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    This is what I do. I'm in the same situation as you, Brady. But I don't tell people anything. None of my friends, nor my parents, or my girlfriend, know about the LPA, let alone how much time I spend here. I choose which people I should say what to. So only my best best friends know I like Linkin Park. Motherfuckin no one knows Bring Me The Horizon or Nine Inch Nails even exist, let alone how much I love them. And I don't tell people this, or anything tnat really bothers me, purely so I can avoid a few funny looks and laughs, and avoid explaining anything to people. So my answer to "what kind of music you listen to?" is "oh you know, what's popular today...". So I have my opinions, but I don't make them public. And it's working. Seriously, in school, I'm the happiest person ever. I'm the class nerd (one of the), everyone asks me for school help, but I'm also kinda the cool guy that people like talking to. At least that's how I feel.

    And this is normal when you're 26, but no matter how much you try to convince yourself in this in my age... you keep coming back to "why don't they want to hang out with me?", "why doesn't she like me?" or "why can't they just accept my opinion?". It's just normal.
     
  11. #71
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    Wut. Same as Gibson here, this is not how it is in high school here, in my high school anyway (which is a gymnasium where mostly people who aren't complete idiots go). What this reminds me of is what I had in elementary school. But I'd get the most shit for being short and having great grades, and later for having long hair, not my opinions, because we wouldn't even discuss them all that much.

    Now I get the most shit for growing a moustache even though it doesn't look presentable enough yet (yes, I know how silly that is). I try not to care, because otherwise I'm completely happy with what I've got – people respect my opinions, which I'm now able to express, because people care enough about them to hear them and have actually grown enough to have their own ones, grounded or not grounded well enough. I try to look at how rational things people say are, and judge them based on that. Hell, I'm not someone who should be like everyone else! No one should! Like Travz said, you build your own self, you don't let other people build you. You might feel like you aren't worth a penny, but when you let other people build you, that's when your true value is lost! You are nothing, nothing but a passive, shitty pile of molecules that doesn't have its own view of the world, which it didn't let itself create with its own intelligence, because it forgot it even had one.

    Just be yourself. It's up to you to decide how much you'll be yourself, but try to do it as much as you can without it negatively affecting your life. Or, well, too negatively – you can't just take everyone's shit, now, can you?

    :)
     
  12. #72
    Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    I feel you, man. It kind of worries how quick I am to burn bridges.
     
  13. #73
    MKH

    MKH Bat of Gotham LPA Super VIP

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    Do we contrast on everything? :lol:

    I burn bridges quickly if I see fit, and I don't regret it ever. Then again, I usually have a high tolerance and tend to just categorize people in my life into "good", "okay", "eh", and "fuck you" groups. The latter two result in lacking "lol"s and burning bridges, respectively. The last option usually only is given to those who turn into absolute shit heads with no understanding of loyalty.

    Relatedly (to me), I don't do good things for the sake of being paid back or having said actions recognized, but it really, really gets under my skin when I or my family do person A a favor because it's the good thing to do, and they still prioritize all their friends and give us the middle finger, when their "friends" didn't do shit for them. I don't think friendship is determined by a length of time, but rather the quality of the people involved. My dad's been friends with the dad of my oldest ex-friend for nearly 20 years, and the guy is a self-centered dick - fortunately, my dad is seeing that more and more with all the drama the pathetic, gossiping Bengali community is stirring up.

    In short, I've burned quite a few bridges this year alone, and honestly, I've come to the realization that my social needs are satisfied with my family and my lady, no more, no less. Regardless of what religion you believe in (or not at all), once you're dead, you're dead. You don't take your money with you, or your awards, or your friends, not even your family, but you have to acknowledge the latter as your roots at the very least, so make them your recommended specs and your life as a PC runs great. At least, that's how it's been for me, and I'm grateful for being shown by the universe, or God, or just sheer causality, that I was befriending total cunts, and that I shouldn't be.
     
  14. #74
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Well, the thing is anyone else and it'd be much much easier.In fact, I do literal burnings of things given to me as a sort of symbolic passing and chance to move on. Like a phoenix rising from ashes. I can't do it here though. I have a box of shit that I dare not open and dare not destroy at the same time. And I mean it if it were anyone else I'd have done it immediately. :/
     
  15. #75
    Apop

    Apop LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    At 20 years old, and a junior in college, I was having an inner crisis. I definitely had trouble with the "freshman 15" if any of you guys remember my pictures from Camden 2012 or my posts in the "workout thread," and it killed my confidence. I am an introvert, which leads to a very lonely life, anyway, but I still have never in my life had a serious relationship.

    That was the situation I was faced with last year. Now I'm 21, and a senior. I've lost about 50 lbs, cut down about 6-8 pant sizes, and am generally happier. If I'm not in class or working, I'm usually doing something I love to do, like playing soccer or meditating outside. It has made me much more content with where I'm at, except I still think I want a relationship. I'm super shy and still have a hard time realizing that I'm not the same person I've been my whole life (in terms of appearance), so I over-complicate every scenario and conversation that could lead to something. I still feel like the person I was (and hated) the past 2-3 years.

    I say I "think" I want a relationship, because I don't really know if I do want one. I've never been very good at trusting people and even writing this all down here feels wacky, but it's like being alone has become so normal and comfortable for me that the thought of opening up to a stranger is terrifying. I've had the same core group of friends my entire life, so we've grown up with each other, and know each other very well. Unfortunately, none of them have had this same experience, so it's tough for me to take their advise. I've been thinking of downloading Tinder or something, but that seems extremely impersonal and makes me feel like I'm desperate. Maybe I have this unrealistic dream that my dream girl will just walk into my life and fall in love with me, and even if I know it'll never happen, I can never stop thinking "what-if".

    TL;DR: I'm a bitch that can't grow a pair and experience life for himself. I need someone to hold my hand and walk me through this shit for anything to happen. But, I've been alone my whole life and I'm happy now, but I should still have goals, right?
     
  16. #76
    travz21

    travz21 Muscle Museum LPA Super Member

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    Getting a girlfriend shouldn't be a goal. Unless it's just something you want to experience and don't expect it to be serious. Just keep living happily and eventually you'll find someone who wants to share life with you.

    In my limited experience, forcing a relationship is only good for brief companionship and sexual release. Because it's always short term unless you're super lucky with picking one out. When I'm in "girlfriend" mode I feel like I'd settle for anyone above a 7 which is pretty unhealthy unless you're just looking for fun. Luckily I was only in that mode twice in college and the relationships only lasted a few weeks each. But I know people who end up getting married or pregnant in relationships like that and it can ruin your life once you realize you've made a huge mistake.
     
  17. #77
    Apop

    Apop LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    That's just it, though. Even if it's nothing serious, I want to have experience dating so I'm prepared for the day I hopefully do meet "the one." I think what my problem boils down to is not being very good at presenting myself. I always dress well, but I don't think I'm very good at selling myself or bragging. I'm not sure how else to put it.

    Thank you very much for answering, by the way. In my time here, I've never been a frequent poster but you've always been very helpful and honest, regardless. I respect you and your advise / opinions a lot.
     
  18. #78
    Erica

    Erica Meh LPA Über VIP

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    I'm going actually going to jump on the Apop train here. A guy left me his number at work (he came through my checker line), now I have this number and I don't know what to do with it. I don't even think I know how to be a relationship. Let alone one that I'm pretty sure won't work. I mean, it's something I would like to experience but the sure thing is right in front of me and I can't pull the trigger.
     
  19. #79
    Duragon

    Duragon Well-Known Member

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    Feels good that people here are open about their stuff. Not that it is a positive thing, but it prooves equality. We are all human.
    I mostly deal with daily depression, social-anxiety, and being paranoid. Started to grow hatered against humanity, but caring for individuals.

    Sorry i didn't read so much of the thread, so hope I'm not breaking up a conversation with some totally new topic or something.
    I mostly deal with my stuff with humor, or nothing. I just live with my problems day in, and day out. Breaking me second after second like Meteora lyrics.
    Tho a period of time i wrote a blog, which i haven't really shown people i know, just 2 or 3.

    http://whatsreal.blog.com if some of you are interested in reading. It's all very personal, and still very anonymous.
     
  20. #80
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    What's the worst that could happen?
     
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