Go to a doctor if you haven't already. Chest pains can be very serious. My friend very recently nearly died while he was with me. He was having minor chest pains which turned bad fast, so I took him to the hospital and he had to have immediate surgery on his lungs. Turned out his long collapsed and the pressure was so great that it pushed his organs across his chest. His diaphragm and heart were in the right side of his chest... When the emergency surgery was done the doctor told us he would have died if we waited another hour.
Jesus fuck man..... I just got a 26 on my 2nd exam for one of my Major classes, which now puts me at a fucking 57. Even if I got a damn 100 on the final, I still wouldn't be able to pass the course. It is possible that there is a scantron error, which would be counting all of my answers save for 5 on the multiple choice section wrong. I hope that's the case. I was worried that this would jeopordize my courses I'm registered for next semester, and screw up my loan that is forgiven if I graduate in 4 years, but it won't. The classes don't have it as a prereq, and the course is offered next semester. If I can pass it then, I would be good. But who knows man... What a shitty fucking situation.
And I did it, just like I knew I would. I always gotta end up hurting someone, don't I? I always have to fuck things up.
I fucking hate writing in philosophy. I always wind up questioning my own statements. I'm not decisive enough to write an philosophy essay.
Oh man, I don't have the strength for this and its too late. I'm going to fail a test today and get everyone angry but that's temporary. I just hope people don't get too disappointed or angry at me or that I can atleast recover as quickly as I can. I know I had a lot of time for this but I was working on other stuff and my anxiety is killing me and I have migraines on top of it. On the upside though. For once, I'm trying to be positive and all that and get my shit together and that's a start. I'm going to have to really make the most out of December. I just hope I can take the blow though, its hard enough trying as it is, I really hope I don't get into even more problems. I am scared of the consequences but I have no choice right now and there's other things that have started to look up for me. I hope this stupid decision doesn't punish me badly and send me to my cave of self loathing again. I DON'T want to give up yet again. Maybe I will stop running in circles. That would be great if it did happen.
Well. There goes my GPA. No way I can get a 3.75 now. This just means I go into IDGAF mode for the rest of the year.
Thank you, Filip. I studied something in an hour and managed to write like four questions so now I'm failing but not as bad as I was going to, my GPA will be less fucked now. On the other hand, my mom told me to just get food outside and I went to a subway so that was fun. Makes it all better. You hang in there too.
All the signs say ask her out. But... Ya know what, fuck it. Go for it. Not really a problem, just thought it didn't belong in Random Thoughts.
Ugh great. While I'm really happy that I am dating this girl now, just like I guessed, I inadvertently hurt this other girl who I'm close friends with (and my girlfriend is best friends with her too). But what can I do? It was one girl over the other, someone was bound to be hurt. And I just feel awful about it and now she isn't talking to me and ugh. I hope she gets over it soon.
And in one fell swoop, everything came crashing down on me. Every single piece of the dream (both of them) that had been building up. Fuck it.
Why do I always have the feeling that she'll eventually just leave me? There always seems to be that creeping thoughht that one day, she'll just get bored of me and move on, like eveyone else. Just enjoy it, for once.
I never wanted to seriously get into something. I just wanted to get to know her on a more personal level, because she seems like the kind of person I want to be close to me. But everyone kept pushing me one way or another until she got an idea otherwise. Sure, I'd be fine with something more serious, but that was never the goal. Some things need to be straightened out. Now.
I can't live without having problems. I'm always worried about something that, many times, I don't even know of what. And another thing that I don't know why it happens to me, especially this year, is that I take little stupid things too seriously. I don't care about BIG PROBLEMS. But I do care a LOT about insignificant problems. Whatever, now I have to study, I failed 5 subjects and now I have to study everything that I should have studied throughout the year. I feel very stupid.
It feels like this thread has just really been three particular people ranting for the past month or so...lol. Fuck winter, bringing all these problems.
So true though. But thankfully my life has been looking a lot better this past week. I'm just having a bad day