Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Michele, Jul 24, 2015.
Huh. Why is everything going so fast? Wait for me.
i feel like i'm wasting my youth being grumpy. i should be fucking girls and doing drugs instead of worring about imaginary things.
You people have considered who knows how many times firing this teacher, that should be a testament to how ineffective they are...
I'm trying so hard to be a more positive person, to not let all the negativity in my life influence me and to create a better future for myself than the example set by my parents, but it's just so goddamn hard sometimes. Every time I decide to change things in my life for the better, something comes up that makes me lose all my motivation and it's just so frustrating. But I guess the more you have to fight for something, the stronger it makes you, right? Hopefully this is just part of my path to succes.
Just keep it in perspective and think of what you might gain. Risk and reward
...I'm literally the worst planner ever. I just hate committing to one thing because I feel like something better will always be an option that will come if I wait.
I hate this anxiety, makes it impossible for me to function like a human being should.
Its especially bad once the exams set in, fuck my life.
I know how you feel. It gets to a point where you feel you'll throw up or something. It gets better.
I do this every time. I feel like a stupid freshman again, always trying to rush into things. Why can't I just learn to wait?
I fear for the future. I don't want to have my heart broken again, and I certainly don't want to break another's. Why can't it ever be simple?
I really wish I hadn't gotten involved with people again. I should have just remained reclusive throughout high school. All sorts of dilemmas and shit have now been thrust upon me. If I go one route, one person doesn't get the chance to make the most of their senior year...if I go the other route, I'll just be tormented.
Why cant things just get better...
SHe didnt even realize that i am suffering as hell... hard as friendly as i am
We're both in the same boat in a way now.
And i know i got on the nerves of my friends, but i cant just change the way i am. I dont even know what to do right know.
I've fallen in love with the one, but it's only going to break the heart of the other's, and she's already broken enough as it is. How come I always end up hurting others when I'm just trying to find happiness for myself? I don't feel like I can ever win. I just always end up hurting myself and the people that I care about. What did I ever do that was so wrong?
Welp. Welcome to the club.
Everything right now is just coming on with too much ferocity. On one hand, we have a girl that is so much like me, and will probably never be asked to another formal dance again unless I do it. We had a great time at homecoming, especially since neither of us knew what we were doing and to figure it out together, but I don't think either of us have any romantic interest in the other. But, why should she have to miss senior prom just because she's doesn't know anyone else who would ask her? That's not fair. But now, on the other hand, there's the one I've been meaning to go to prom with for a while. But asking her would mean that I'd be hurting my other friend who also likes her and not allowing the other girl to go to prom. It's just one huge can of worms. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I either suffer or others suffer...
But that's not even all, of course! No, all this crap in school! It's bullshit! It really is! I sit and I make my good grades and fill out these tedious fucking applications so that the colleges can just check me off. I meet the minimum requirement that I worked my ass off for, and I just get checked off and admitted. I give up social time to work on schoolwork that will mean absolutely nothing but 7 letters and a number at the end of this year. After that, it's done. What's the purpose of any of it? The whole fucking system is corrupt. Every last bit of it.
I am feeling sadness, i am feeling anger, i am feeling hate and i am disappointed in the moment... that i was so wrong in this person... that hurts a lot.
When do I get to fucking leave?
Everything is so confusing. I'm just doing shit the way I feel like it and I have no idea what's going on or what I should be doing right now.
I'm so confused its frustrating. Why doesn't stuff make sense to me and why can't I be satisfied like others or atleast not obsess over and complicate things in my head?
Everything feels so weird now. And I feel hollow for no reason.
Just constant existential crisis I guess.
I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do tonight.
I'm freaking out so bad.
Why is this so hard for me?
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