The Venting Out Thread 2

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Michele, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. MKH

    MKH Bat of Gotham LPA Super VIP

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    With all their criticizing and constant judging, I feel so far pushed away to where I don't feel homesick without them. It will be so good to be on my own.
     
  2. polleo

    polleo You're gonna carry that weight. LPA Super Member

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    It's just an endless cycle of extreme cynicism to delusional hope for me.
     
  3. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    I can't do anymore.

    Do what you want with me or to me.

    I can't stop anything.
     
  4. brady

    brady Gibs you ignorant slut LPA Super Member

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    When your grades improve but somehow your rank and GPA go down
     
  5. The Joesen One

    The Joesen One Fun-employed LPA Super Member

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    I'm fucking scared because I don't know what I want to do after school. I don't know what career I want to pursue. I don't know where to start.
     
  6. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    I had the same problem. The only advice I can give is to take some time discovering what it is you love to do and experience more of life as a young adult.

    Don't try to go to work at a dead-end job to make for not knowing what to do with your life. It's what I did and I wish I'd never done it. I'm now completely lost and have lost so much time that I could've used working towards a career I'd love. I'm 27 now.

    What I'm saying is, follow your passion no matter how desperate you might feel at times. It's still worth it.
     
  7. minuteforce

    minuteforce Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance. LPA Team

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    Then, pick something you want to study, or (if possible) just get a job and grind away. Even take a year off without employment (again, if you can manage), if neither of those sound appealing. None of those would be a waste of time while you figure out your goals.
     
  8. The Joesen One

    The Joesen One Fun-employed LPA Super Member

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    The thing is, I'm not sure what my true passion is. I've got a penchant for writing, journalism and pop culture, but I don't see myself doing or enjoying media. I'm taking a business course because I thought I could learn from industries and all (and income lol), but I don't enjoy my majors at all.

    I'm kind of too late for that haha. The courses I want to study either have high-as-fuck retention requirements or ran out of slots. I can't afford a year off without anything to do.
     
  9. brady

    brady Gibs you ignorant slut LPA Super Member

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    Sometimes I honestly feel like my girlfriend is the only one who trully cares about me. To anyone else, my feelings aren't worth a cent to them. I just want to have worth.
     
  10. Michele

    Michele Praise Brad Delson, our Lord and Savior. LPA Addict

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    Yeah, i would say the same. But i have no girlfriend </3

    But i am sure in this ase your feelings are wrong. I am sure there are more people who care about you :)
     
  11. -Amarez-

    -Amarez- Active Member

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    I am a depressed man.

    Depression isn't a choice. It's a mental condition that automatically eats you.

    I feel like I had a happy childhood until I reached the beginning of high school, where I had anxiety for no reason. I feel like I don't have the happiness that others are able to obtain. Things started to get better when I found a beauriful lady a month a before my high school graduation. I felt like a different, more optimistic person after I found her and her family. I was okay during the relationship, however, anxiety attacks still came about. She and I wrote letters even when we were 3 blocks away. She promised a lot of things.

    But now, I feel like... I'm out of touch. She has left me a year ago after 2 years together. She left me because i was viewed as a weak guy to her eventually. She wanted a better man. She is married now, but I don't care so much because it's been so long since the breakup. But it affects me in a certain way because i feel like this might happen to me again, where she leaves and finds another's arms. I'm afraid of love.

    I live alone 200 miles away from my parents and I don't know anybody here. It's a small town. I came here for the job opportunity. I feel like im a night owl in the dark (considering I work only night shifts at a hospital). I am an owl. And it feels .. well.. bluntly... lonely. I'm lonely. I saw wedding pictures of her through Facebook and I think to myself... I am here in the dark. Pitch black heart.

    I create music on my free time and never want to give that up. I want to sing and record all I want but neighbors will hear me in my apartment. I'm kinda stuck.

    My heart is broken, not all because of my past relationship, but because I am in the dark. I don't know how long this will last.
    Thanks to the LP community for allowing me to share.
     
  12. polleo

    polleo You're gonna carry that weight. LPA Super Member

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    Hey, nice to see new members here!

    I understand what you say, man. We've all felt the same way I'm sure, at one point or the other. That feeling of disconnect is frustrating and difficult but I'm sure you're strong enough to overcome your predicament. :hug:You can always come here and hang out with us, dude. Just visit the shout box. Good luck, Amarez!

    ---
    The battles don't mean anything if the outcomes don't work out. Then again, looking for a meaning in everything is delusional. Thinking in such loops, some times, it's as if I am truly losing my mind.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2016
  13. Captain-EO

    Captain-EO Eh, Gibs Is Aight I Guess LPA Super Member

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    Sometimes I feel like I'm in no way, shape or form going to last in the real world.
     
  14. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    What worries you?
     
  15. brady

    brady Gibs you ignorant slut LPA Super Member

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    This is girl is the best thing to ever come to me, but yet it's a huge stress factor.

    I am terrified of losing her, and I feel like it's a very real reality. And as it is, I'm not in a good mental state. I beat myself up over the little mistakes, and the big ones take a huge toll on me. A few times I've had suicidal thoughts, and even tried suffocating myself a few days prior over my biggest mistake yet (something I have yet to forgive myself for). Yet she always says I'm a great boyfriend, etc., but I personally don't believe that. And the stress level has gone up over the summer and I'm more terrified than ever of losing her. And if I do, I don't know what that'll mean for me.
     
    Captain-EO likes this.
  16. Captain-EO

    Captain-EO Eh, Gibs Is Aight I Guess LPA Super Member

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    If you keep trying to be the best guy you can be you shouldn't have anything to fear. You're gonna trip up. We all make stupid mistakes. But if she's willing to forgive you like that you should be willing to forgive yourself and get right back up. It's all about how you respond to those situations.
     
  17. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    Trying to stay positive.

    I can't get out of this.
     
  18. -Amarez-

    -Amarez- Active Member

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    Thank you so much.. I replied so late. I'm sticking around though. I can't wait to post my entry for the monthly mix up contest.
     
  19. Modern Guitar God

    Modern Guitar God LPA Super VIP LPA Super VIP

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    I stopped taking my psychiatric prescriptions about 2 weeks ago. They didn't help me with depression or anxiety attacks.

    I'm significantly more depressed now. I think there is a correlation between my discontinued use of meds but I would've been depressed anyway. I've had this problem since I was about 14. I'm 27 now. Not trying to make it sound dramatic or important - just giving some context to my situation.

    Lately, I've just been literally sitting and starting into blank space, thinking about life. Very disturbing thoughts going through my mind.
     
  20. -Amarez-

    -Amarez- Active Member

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    Seeing the world in 20/20 vision is the best description I could make about depression in most. We see the world as destructive and mean, which in fact is the truth. It just bothers us more than other people.
     

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