Warning: Long Post Keaton did this as a warning. So I might as well warn you all as well. You are very right. I appreciate you for mentioning that. What caught my attention was when you mentioned about your friend. You see, you are right, however, about how people could see a school counciler about suicide and/or seek a doctor for help. But I know a psychiatrist and he says this. When people see suicide, they automatically think of anti-depressants. A doctor sees a depressed boy or girl. Bam. Anti-depressants. Now, for most of the time, these anti-depressants usually work. But only for the time they are being used. The solid odd out of this world thing is that...12 year old children are on these pills. Doctors are out of their minds. You can't put a kid on that powerful of a drug. It'll kill them. Afterwards, after they are finished with that prescription, there is a chance of immediate depression...again. If you have not heard on the news, anti-depressants are being looked over due to the fact that anti-depressant takers can actually become more depressed and more suicidal. Anti-depressants are a big risk. But I'll say, myself, that it possibly could have saved your friends life. And yes, of course people wouldn't have expected. A lot of people didn't figure about my depression until one day, I didn't talk to anybody. It scared a lot of people. How well people hide their feelings is strange. I respect you for how you dug yourself out of that hole. Not a lot of people do that. Somehow...I feel that adrenaline isn't the case here. Adrenaline, is of course, what makes you anxious, what kicks in from fear. It actually reduces pain...if you are not aware. If you are in a car accident, if you break a leg, your adrenaline will kick in and it won't hurt as much. Somehow, as important as adrenaline may be to the body, I don't understand the point of how it motivates suicide. Suicide is merely a state of mind. Some people think that it's a phase in a teenagers life which will eventually just fall off when you get older. Suicide is also a result of a chemical imbalance. There are a lot of causes. And depression isn't necessarily all science. It's merely from your viewpoint of life. I don't like life. For Christ's sake, my parents don't trust me for shit. A majority of you would say they are just trying to protect me. How can they protect me if they're not letting me be eager enough to learn about life? They think I know so little. Having parents who can't trust you just saddens you so much. It saddened me a hell of a lot. To this day, they can't look at me without thinking, "Is he depressed? Is he upset? Is something wrong with him?" They are literally paranoid over nothing. I despise that. I had a girlfriend who cut herself and always came to me with her problems. It ticked me off even though I had to help her. She was 2 years older than me too. I have two friends, who are girls, who claim to not cut themselves anymore...when you can plainly see newer scars on their arms and wrists every single day. I have to deal with them coming to me, and me seeing those scars. I hate it. I despise it. I have to live in such a confined world, where nothing seems to go right for me at all. I sometimes think to myself, "Hey, things might look up for you. You never know. A lot of things happen." It seems that everyday, nothing ever leads to such a result. Everyday, something bad happens. Every night, I try to avoid suicidal thoughts but they don't seem to just disappear from my mind like questions for a teacher. It's always there. It just seems that suicide is such a big issue for me. I hear the word and I become depressed. You might wonder why I even made such a post if it mentions "Suicide" so much. I made it for possible help and togetherness. The thing is I don't hate life. I hate moments. I have good moments, when me and my friends laugh over something hilariously funny and somehow we feel like we're going to die laughing. And there are other good moments when we win a game and we are happy as can be. But you can't deny bad moments. I can't deny the fact that everyday, me and my parents have an argument which keeps a grudge between us for the next 24 hours. I can't deny parents who don't consider me trustworthy. I can't deny the fact that every single day, people make fun of me and tease me and disrespect me. I try to help people so much because of redemption. I was a mean kid in Elementary school. I'm trying to make a fucking effort to turn my life around. But you know, some people just don't know that, and they make it a point in life to just put people down. I'm one of the victims. Always have been, and always will be. I don't understand, also, how you can say that suicide is just saying that the person is a coward? Suicide may be just some way of giving up. But think about it...what are they giving up? They're giving up what they think is hell. They think it's right. Now, people know their morals. But you can't deny someone's morals in their mind. It's not like a math problem, where there may just be one answer, and that only answer is right and everything else is wrong. People think suicide is a right option if they think that nothing could help them. There are people who do seek help, but still commit suicide. I know kids like that. Recently, two kids committed suicide. One from one high school in the area, and the other from another high school. It was mentioned that both seeked help. What'd they do? They still though that suicide was a well-thought out option. Your point of view is partly correct, but you can't tell someone who knows their own morals that they are wrong. It's hard to convince someone out of suicide. Unless you want to go into the drugging issue again. All I'm saying is, you're absolutely right. And I might be wrong because, of course, you knew how it felt. But the thing is, since you're happier now, you're looking at things from both an inside and outside perspective. Somethings just aren't completely correct. Emotions are different from outside-looking-in speculations. I do not appreciate that comment. How can you say that suicidal people are the coolest. You are definitely anti-life. You're just disrespecting the thread. Suicide is not a "cool" issue. Anyway, so I think I've made my point. But one more thing. You see...emotion is so unpredictable...you can't just say how cowardliness is involved with suicide all of the time...or how giving up is just what suicide is. People have different thoughts. All of you...think about it. I would like to thank...again...all of those who have responded to this thread. I think this is letting out what some of us have been keeping in for a long time.
that was sarcasm i have no sympathy for any kind of suicide action -you don't solve anything -you don't remove pain -you won't make anyone happy -pointless -the fact that people talk about it shows that people care about the one who died, so the one who died is selfish enough not to think about them, and if no one knows about their die good rip case closed. suiciders are just fuckin selfish people who just care about their own feelings and no one else, they don't know how many people try to survive and live a second longer. how many ill people or how many families in disasters and wars try to save their life, and suiciders don't care about the gift been alive, they are unhappy that god created them and let them live so i guess they better chose their way and should deserve to die then.
I like living in a two-story home. You can think about jumping out of your room window. Totally serious.
J-Flex, do me a favor, if you have got nothing to say that complies with the word understanding, keep yourself out of this thread. Your opinions matter, but no one is going to believe you have a proper understanding when you come in with sarcasm. Your sarcasm is not only pathetic, but unnecessary. Thanks. Plus, war does not mean that it has bettered this world. War is killing others to make some political statement whether it be over land, religion or "to get back at another nation." And try to keep religious beliefs out of this discussion, because it's also unnecessary, we're not talking about what one believes, this is the action of what one feels. Now back on topic, I understand where you're coming from GiriosXeni. Considering I wrote that at around 2:30-3:00AM, let's see if I can ellaborate a bit more. First, I think suicide has a form of adrenaline in it because of the instance it takes. Adrenaline can make one emotionally and physically stronger, like you said, the mind can then block out pain. I've been in enough fights, accidents and experiences to know this. One can train their mind to disregard pain, and in fact, in some instances, one can completely disregard anything if the mind is set to that. It's always been adrenaline for me, at least. Everytime I wanted to suicide, it was because I always thought of the crap that made my life suck. I always thought because I could never have "real" friends, that my life was pointless. Because I wasn't living to a standard, I believed my life to be worthless. The only thoughts that ran through my head when I were suicidal were negative, and that's how it goes, thus my idea of inbalances. I also agree with the use of anti-depressants. Though we need to remember that we're not psychic. I believe doctors put children on anti-depressants though I agree is stupid, because they don't know every aspect of that person's life. Now in general, this is always going to be the case--thus I cannot tell you or anyone else how to think because I don't know any of you to the point I know everything that happened in you lives. However with what I say is just from one point of view to the next. From one experienced to another. To futher more find an answer to reduce suffering. Second, if you don't mind, GiriosXeni, I would like to just suggest something towards your parent issue. I know many people who have parents who do not trust them. From what I can understand, I assume this means they limit you on what you can/cannot do and they might try to control your thought process? I think your parents might be trying to protect you, yes, protect you from the world, but in that event, it's not working, maybe they don't see it, maybe they don't know what to do, but it might be they are afraid to let their kid grow up. My parents don't trust me that much, either. My parents still treat me like a five year old sometimes, but I can't blame them because letting go is sometimes the hardest thing to do for a parent. To let their child go and grow up sometimes will scare a parent... or so I am assuming. I'm not a parent, but it only sounds logical. However, I don't know your situation, so it'd be hard for me to say that this is all correct, etc. Finally, my comparison between the words coward and running shouldn't be taken as if I were still calling one a coward. I meant for this: I find suicide to be the easiest way to avoid a problem. It's to avoid, nothing more, nothing less. The act of suicide is to in fact remove yourself, like removing a stone from the ground, but you can't put it back. What I meant by my comparison is not that I am saying suicide is cowardly, I mean that it is the weakest answer to the problem. I do understand it is hard. I have been to that, but as you said, yes, I do look at this from the opposite stand point. But no matter where I stand with suicide, that doesn't change how I feel about it. When I was suicidal, I felt this way. I felt useless, but I don't want those who love me to suffer, those who have known me to cry, mourn for me, etc. I would think it'd be pretty heartless of a person to laugh at another one's death--I think that's pretty inhumane, but we don't think that way when we're depressed. We think that us dying means people will be happier, or something to that extent. Believe me, I've grown up in the more horrible of environments. Prejudice and unaccepting to differences, I'm lucky to be alive. If not from suicide, then those who hate me for being different, I should be dead. I have in fact had to fight for my life for being a "rocker" with my own opinions. Being shunned from my old high shcool, it's a bitch. But this is what I mean. We can look at ourselves as low-life people, or we can do something about it. It won't happen instantly, you must understand. For me, it took me two years of straight abuse before I finally found my answer, but I didn't want to give up, though I wanted to. I wanted to so much, but the intolerance wouldn't stop me, and it shouldn't stop you or anyone around you from making your life better. For two and a half years, I suffered their intolerance, their unacceptable behavior, but I found a way to a better life. Charter school was my answer. Less social interaction, but something I was willing to sacrafice to wake up every day knowing I wouldn't have to deal with douche bags. Now family is different. I don't hate my parents, but my parents are barely home as is, so technically I can only hate them for barely being here for me. I tried to fix their problems, but it might just not happen, sadly, that's how it goes sometimes. But no problem like how your parents treat you should mean you need to pay with your life. But I'll cut it short for now. All I can say is that nothing good comes quickly. I suffered a long time before I found a new sense of happiness, but all I can say is to not continuously be hopeful. Make something of the things you already have. Disregard those who make your life worse, that's all I can really say, though that's hard. I've been lucky enough to have a good sense of who I am, whether you are the same or not, all I have to say is never give up. Don't let these ignoramus get the upper hand and let them throw you around. The world is full of these mean people, but it doesn't mean we can't still live without them, right? But look, to anyone who is taking what I say to heart, you have to remember I am speaking from personal background. I have been to the lowest of lows, I have been the exteme outcast, the worse of the "losers," I've been rediculed and isolated for a long time, but I never let it stop me. All I can share with is how I overcame my problems in hopes it'll inspire those who read my rather long posts and come up with solutions. Also, like I said, it takes more than just one thing. YOU need to make it happen. A doctor can only do so much, a counciler can only do so much. If you feel suicidal, call the suicide hotline. I mean, there are so many greater things to do. They take some time, but like I said, good things come with time. Emotions differ in every individual, but from what I say, I'd rather people take it as a guideline to find their own ways out of their problems rahter than trying to compare and contrast to my life/experience(s).
that was sarcasm i have no sympathy for any kind of suicide action -you don't solve anything -you don't remove pain -you won't make anyone happy -pointless -the fact that people talk about it shows that people care about the one who died, so the one who died is selfish enough not to think about them, and if no one knows about their die good rip case closed. suiciders are just fuckin selfish people who just care about their own feelings and no one else, they don't know how many people try to survive and live a second longer. how many ill people or how many families in disasters and wars try to save their life, and suiciders don't care about the gift been alive, they are unhappy that god created them and let them live so i guess they better chose their way and should deserve to die then. [/b][/quote] Do us all a favor and just stop posting. You have no idea what it's like to go down that road, do you? Yeah, that's what I thought. Shut it.
Yeah, I also understand where you're coming from. I understand what you mean by how parents have a hard time letting go of their children. A majority of parents do. I've seen it before. I remember in preschool...somehow...how there was this one parent who wanted to stay with her child the first day. Your comment is understandable and I have now taken it into consideration. My parents are not like that though. My parents, they are nice people. They have good social lives and good friends. They have good jobs, and they have good lives. From their point of view...they had two wonderful children. My older brother, and I. Now, only recently, have I began to consider that my parents are thinking that they only had 1 wonderful child. My parents ever so constantly tell me that I'm no fun when they are watching a funny movie...or watching an exciting Formula 1 race. They tell me that I make a big deal out of everything...when they have absolutely no idea of what I'm thinking. And your point about letting go...not with my parents. My parents seem eager and happy that my brother is growing up. He recently got a girlfriend and they seem so proud. I bet that once my brother moves out...they're going to hope...and hope some more, that I move out too. Alright, suicide may possibly be a way to avoid something...but one thing, Keaton? No offense, but technically, most suicidal people usually focus on many things to think that suicide is a valid option. But there are some people, as you seem to be noting, who kill themselves over one thing. From an outside point of view, it's probably pointless. For example...I have heard people kill themselves over the fact that someone broke up with them. Now, as emotional as it may be for them, it's not the biggest deal. Yes, it's sad, but true. I don't know if there was one thing that you focused on, even though I highly doubt it since reading your posts, but personally, there are a lot of things that people focus on. I have mentioned a few. Probably a majority of them. Anyway, about adrenaline. Completely understandable. The mind can block out pain, but it seems that it can't block out emotional pain. Only certain activites can do that. Your viewpoint is understandable here, as well, but adrenaline usually only blocks physical pain. But then again, you are right. Adrenaline may not necessarily block out emotional pain, but you said that it makes you stronger both physically and emotionally. Adrenaline helps you focus on one thing. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a suicidal thought or just some random depressing thought. It could be something happy, some activity with your friends. Other things. Another reason why we can appreciate Adrenaline. By the way (to all)...if you are on cocaine, you have a big chance of destroying your adrenaline tube. Therefore...preventing an adrenaline rush. Back on topic. I would believe that there are some people who do consider the fact that there are people who care for them and love them. But then again, there are probably just some people who think that their problems just outnumber the fact that people care for them. As stupid...as bad...as saddening as it may sound...some people still do it. I mentioned in my last post about the two high schoolers who committed suicide. They indeed had many people who cared for them. One of them...my friend's sister knew him very well. He probably knew this. And most likely, so did the other boy. But they might take it into their own consideration that...you know...they have more important things to handle then friendships. It's sad. I said so previously, people have their own morals and make it a point...especially in a depressed state, to follow those morals. That is what leads to suicide. I have been reading previous posts before and after yours, Keaton, about how as cowardly suicide may be, people need courage to do it. I agree with those people. I, last year, tried to commit suicide. I regret it, but it took me hours of thinking. Courage...I was afraid. I had barely any. I tried...but the fact is...my grandparents had been visiting. When your grandmother is coming upstairs...especially one of the most loveable people in your family...you suddenly chicken out. I trashed my rope. I trashed anything I ever wrote that was suicidal or depressing. I had to hide it. My family...I put it in front. That's common...but it was hard. Courage is indeed a factor in this. So, for the people who mentioned it...you, indeed, have made a great point. You mentioned also how during the suicidal time of your life, it took you two years to get out of that hole. You said you wanted to give up, but you didn't. You see...after my attempt...I've been having the exact same feeling. Should I just give up? Or should I not? Should I risk it? Should I keep trying? It's hard to decide. I respect you because you did. People do try hard to get themselves out of holes a lot, and prevail...but this is one deep hole. I understand the blood, sweat and tears you probably had to go through just to end this kind of feeling. Oh, the respect I have for you is immense. Same for other people who've been through your situation. In your last comment...I haven't been trying to compare and contrast. At least...I haven't been meaning to. I've said ever so constantly how this thread was just to get together for help. Not simply to compare...or show off. This isn't a "who's the most suicidal" thread where people show their worst. This is merely an optional thread, where you can express feelings. Where people can help you. I consider friends to be better than eager anti-depressant-prescribing doctors. People like J-Flex...his opinion...I understand it. But he was going against this thread and bring unneccessary topics in here such as war. To J-Flex: Suicide bombers...they don't want to kill themselves. From my viewpoint, that is. They don't contemplate doing it. They are cowards fighting for what they think is right. They go in, blow up, and that's it. I doubt that they have any other reason. And...as a warning. If anyone close to you just so happens to commit suicide...you will show sympathy. Don't deny it. You'll regret it in the end, I promise you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - I mentioned before in the first few replies to this thread that I'm scared of councilors and hotlines and all of that. They're going to put me into some place. I'm not going to risk that. I don't want anti-depressants. I'm trying to solve my problems on my own. But the problem is, I seem to be helping others...like my friends, so much, that I just can't seem to solve my own. I'm trying, believe me. There are good things in life...they come from time to time. But there can be so much that comes in between.
wtf political statement? who cares about the statement when your life is threaten? i have been through war do you think i should let saddam's army kill me for his statement or for his "nation"? i did the sarcasm because it's pathetic to throw your life just because you feel unhappy. as for religion, thanks to religion many people picked their lifes up after losing all their families I guess you just don't look further than your own nose i brought the war example because suiciders have the choice to survive while victims in wars don't have it.. living in peace is something what suiciders don't appriceate. just compare them for a second and you will understand me <!--QuoteBegin--GiriosXeni@ To J-Flex: Suicide bombers...they don't want to kill themselves. From my viewpoint, that is. They don't contemplate doing it. They are cowards fighting for what they think is right. They go in, blow up, and that's it. I doubt that they have any other reason. [/quote] they have a believe that they can help their own people while susicders don't even help anyone if you look it from that point of view <!--QuoteBegin--GiriosXeni And...as a warning. If anyone close to you just so happens to commit suicide...you will show sympathy. Don't deny it. You'll regret it in the end, I promise you. [/quote] offcourse it will hurt me, but suiciders should know that they hurt people around them. for those who have been warned that it hurts us and they still do it i have no sympathy. i care about them but they don't care about my hurt so why would i care about them anymore?
J-Flex, your whole "unequal care" balance mind frame is so immature. Are you honestly telling me if a loved one pushed away from you because they felt depressed/suicidal, you'd say that you would be unsympathetic and misunderstanding to them? You would give them the notion that you don't care what they do because of what people who must deal with war conflicts go through? That's cold, and that whole idea is what the world suffers. It's a dog-eat-dog world, no doubt, but having absolutely no compassion for those in need of it is just down right stupid. And I don't look beyond my own nose? I like to think I am pretty open minded, but considering you made a mockery of what-is-to-others a serious subject, using your little mind frame, since you're not being sincere, why should I consider anything that comes from you to be sincere? Why should I care that people die in wars if they don't care about me? They don't even know me so why should we care for eachother, is that what you're saying? I'm not going to get into the war subject because I know no matter what I say, you, J-Flex will only come up with something about tyranny, or devotion to people, and I am not even going to even try to bring political values into this because we're getting way off subject. If you want to complain about war values, take it to a thread actually talking about how people should feel in and out of war. Obviously you haven't been reading what's been going on in this thread because you'd know I gave props to religion. I suggest you look further than your own nose before you tell me what I haven't realized about life. It's obvious you haven't read this thread and I suggest you do so because you'd realize a lot of people who are suicidal are aware of such things as who they might hurt, but like I've already stated, they are not in a clear mind frame. Depression out-weighs what we would normally balance in our lives. That doesn't mean they don't care for others. I've said this before and I suggest you review it before you reply next time. I honestly feel, though, J-Flex, this whole "if you don't care for me, I won't care for you" idea seems pretty ruthless. I'm not even going to waste my time trying to talk you out of what ever it is you want to think. This thread doesn't need any more negativity, and that's all you're bringing. If you find suicide to be stupid, I rather hear some understanding than a flat out "this-is-my-beef-so-suck-it" attitude I get from you right now. I feel as if you are misinformed with the way one thinks when depressed, and fine by me if that's what you want to believe, so be it; but if that's how you're going to act, then I suggest you just keep yourself out of this thread. You don't have to reply in it--The thread doesn't have a neon sign saying "Please, just down every one who is trying to cope with suicidal tendencies because we know it's oh-so-wrong. We definitely need to be called stupid and not worthy of any form of respect." I already sense you're hostile about this whole suicide linked to war thing, and if that's how you want to be in life, then so be it, if you can wake up every morning thinking like that, more power to you, buddy. The rest of us still have some compassion for others, even if we don't know them. And one last thing, if I can't "look past my own nose," why do I offer my hand in listening to people's problems and trying to be a caring & understanding person to them while you say "screw it" to those who feel this way? And if I'm getting the wrong signals here, then you best explain more clear next time because you really come off that way to me right now. I'm done with this tie between war and suicide because they're really an irrelevant comparison. You're comparing two different types of people, or at least the way they think, and they really shouldn't be compared that way, but whatever floats your boat. Final thing, J-Flex. I think anyone who gets overzealous about comparisons of people in war and suicide are not worth anyone's time, they deserve no sympathy for what they've gone through. Does this sound fair? I don't believe it, but do you think this is a fair statement to make? @ GiriosXeni: I agree with some of your statements. Like I said, a lot of what I believe is just what I know, or can come to a conclusion with. Adrenaline is something I noticed in myself, and I know it probably isn't always the answer. As for your parents, I don't know what to really say. I could suggest talking to them about how you feel, but that doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes taking risks to better your life won't turn out as great, but that is the probability of the action of risk. Taking an almost 50-50 chance in hopes it comes out for the best. Good luck with whatever you decide to do--I hope it makes your life better, though. I'm also sure that you can request that before they make such conclusions as to put you in a hospital or clinic, that you be thoroughly examined. I did this with my counciler and doctor, and yes, back then I was told I was suffering from depression and a few other mental instabilities. Holes are never easy to get out of. I've felt helpless a lot, but like I said, sometimes you just have to go for it and try something. It's hard to have the will power to keep moving foreword and telling yourself things will be okay because you begin to hope you're not being naieve, but it shouldn't be so much about that in my opinion. I was lucky, though. I was given an opportunity to prove myself worthy of my life and I know a lot of people aren't just given this type of opportunity, and so soon. I do feel greatful for that, but I still hold true to the fact I didn't give up even though I should have long ago considering who I am and where I come from. All I can suggest, I think from now on, to those who have read what I have to say is to sieze life's moments. If you feel your life is dull, then find something to liven it up and you don't have to turn to substances and certain actions, either. It really takes what some call "soul searching" to really think like myself as I've done it a lot and continue to. I learn about myself, my habits and how I interact. I try to learn from my mistakes and build on my strong points, and I think if more people could do this, they wouldn't be as depressed. This is a bit off topic, though, because this is more just something I personally do, but it helps. But yeah, in the end, a lot of the times it is the state of depression that will cause one to commit suicide and it is sad. It's sad to see any one die for any reason because a life should be priceless no matter how they died. As that famous saying goes, "You only want to die for a little while." I never believed it, but I do agree with it to an extent. I think people rather remove themselves from their lives until it gets better. I think it works like a game. People wish they could just pause the game or just watch it play out until they find a moment where they can jump back in and have a good time rather than a bad. All in speculation, though.
To J-Flex: I would just like to say this straight out so that me, you, Keaton, and other responders to this thread don't have to continue this pointless argument. Your concept is not getting you anywhere. Please stop bringing off-topic and political comments into this thread or I will have no choice but to report you to the moderators and administrators of Linkin Park Association. I'm sorry if it seems too much like a thread. But I did not want this thread to have responders with unappreciative and inconsiderate comments. You are one of them. I cannot stand people like you, I honestly cannot. You have made your point. You think suicide is a pointless action. Okay, then. We get it. Why are you bringing war into the subject? Why are you bringing politics into the subject? Those two things have nothing to do with suicide. If anything, nothing important. As Keaton mentioned, your concept of "If they don't care about me, I don't care about them" is mean, and not logical. How inconsiderate can you be, J-Flex? I would believe you are smarter than that. Just please, if you are going to bring tyranny into this conversation...stop yourself and stay out of this. - - - - - - - - - - - - To Keaton: I have considered trying to talk to my parents about suicide before. There was one time where I was about to...they found out the rough way. They found a depressing song I wrote and they convinced me out of depression. Only for a small state of time. Once I broke up with my girlfriend, they found out again after a depressing update on an old online journal of mine. So you see, they have tried helping me. They are not completely convinced that I'm okay...therefore always interrogating me in case I somehow go back into a suicidal state. I'm sure they'll actually try putting me into therapy. I'm afraid of that. You mentioned seizing life moments. Well, the thing is, I do that. I'm not the kind of person who just sits at home, stays depressed the whole time and does nothing about his problem. I actually try to lighten myself up. I go out with friends. We go the mall and we watch movies and we plays sports and all of the sort. We have good times. We have laughs. Don't think that my life at the moment is totally shitty. It's just that there's a lot going on that just seems to be conflicting with all of these good moments. I seize these moments and I make good memories out of them. Something funny happened only yesterday and sometimes I still laugh to myself because of what happened. I learn from my mistakes. But the only problem is, I make too many of them. It's hard to admit, and some people might think, "What is this guy doing? Why would he be admitting mistakes like this?" But it's true I make a lot of mistakes. As much as I hate to think it, whenever I make mistakes...I always look at benefits, but I'm always blamed for it. Blamed for it in a way where everyone has to make me regret it. If my mom wants me to do something, and I choose not to do it. She'll take it as a mistake. She'll make a comment and all of the sudden I'll regret it. I hate to think this as well, but it's as if I have to feel guilty every time. For Christ's sake, even my brother, who's the closest to me out of the three people I live with (Mom, Dad, and Brother), still sometimes makes me feel guilty about something I do that is not to his benefit. I've had a hard time with life. I'll say it simply. But don't think I don't do anything about it. It's a point I've been trying to make to everyone who knows about my problems. If anyone asked where I would be as far as my hole. Almost at the bottom, probably. But I was at the bottom. I would consider myself to be making progress. But still, I'm down in suicide slums. As bad as it seems, I'm trying to do something about. I'm not letting doctors, councilors, or parents get into the situation in which I got myself into. I'm getting myself out of my own problem. Let's be honest. There's a lot of crap that goes on in our lives. A lot of that crap is hard to deal with. Some consider the option that it's just not worth bothering to deal with. They know they are going to fail...which leads back to their own morals. They think that failure will be the result. They think that's right. They think suicide is a good option. It all connects together. Adrenaline may be involved, cowardliness and courage as well...but the truth is...suicide cannot be changed. We can debate it all we want...there will be nothing different about it. People kill themselves. Can we stop it? No. Can we prevent it some of the time? Yes. - - - - - - - - - - - - Now, I would like to change the minor subject a little bit...if you don't mind. I would like to bring paranoia into the conversation. When I became depressed...I became paranoid. As weird...and as horrible as it seems...I started doing things that I never figured I would do. I started pretending. I started pretending that things were different. I had an alter-ego. I pretended a life just to get away from my depressed-self. Was I desperate, that I do not know. Also...I started hearing things. Whenever I lie down...or not just plain do anything...I hear my name randomly. I don't trigger a thought which involves my name being heard...it just...happens. I wouldn't think that paranoia would somehow be involved with depression. I thought they were two different problems. So, if you could take this into consideration...for those who do respond to this thread...that would be great. We would like to hear your thoughts and opinions.
in my opinion, i think you do seriously need to see a professional about this. please do not think that i am being nasty cause i really am not. i just know that if you start to become paranoid, than you may be dealing with a larger problem and depression may be just one of your symptoms. i don't want to diagnose you, but this could only get worse if you don't seek help. i know you are scared of seeing anyone about this, but please trust me that they are not there to lock you up in a mad house. those days are long gone. paranoia can be related to depression but a more serious form of it and it may not be something that you can pull yourself out of. remember that depression is not just a thing that happens to people who have had trumatic things happening to them or those who have just had a shit life. it can simply be a chemical imbalance in the brain. i currently study stuff at university to do with this kind of problem but by no means i am in a position to diagnose what is happening. that's why i feel that you should seek professional help. i hope this helps even just a little. i am only sorry i can not do more but i do have to comply with the british psychological society code of conduct which states that i can not diagnose or give any profesional help. but i can give advice which is please speak to someone about this or at least do some of your own research on it as this can sometimes help you to understand more of what is going on.
I appreciate that. But the thing is...I'm not sure if it's paranoia. I mean...pretending...it's not like it's out of my control. It's like...I choose to do it. And hearing my name...I guess that's just what the mind does. It doesn't happen very often...but it happens.
i only thought of suicide when i knew what it ment but i don't think about it , i reackon that thinking about commiting suicide makes you want to . i hope know one ever does because of what somone has said to them , u have the same rights as every one else and nobody should mock you because you are different.
ok, but if you ever feel out of control that's when help should be found. don't be afraid to talk about it. i bet even starting this thread has helped somewhat. i really hope things work out for you cause i know what depression feels like and suicide is a subject very close to my heart.
first of all GiriosXeni report what ever you like to the mods go ahead. @keaton i am comapring these 2 people because they are the same humans both have a life and death choice between them the one has the choice the other hasn't my statement about "if they don't care about them when they don't care about me" after i warn them that their death hurt me! read my post again very weak trying to avoid the discussion by saying it's another subject both subjects are been involved by the same humans
I'm not avoiding it because I don't want to discuss it, it's because it's a cheap shot at people who are suicidal. Continue to do so and I will close this thread.
For the last time, J-Flex, continue to bring your negativity into this thread and I will close it. This thread does not pertain to you, so that should be enough reason to keep yourself out of it. You've said your piece, now let those who need people to talk to use this thread.
prove your immaturness [/b][/quote] J-Flex...I am sick and tired of you replying to my thread with your inconsiderate comments. And must we inform you that by arguing with people who have more power than you on this message board, such as Keaton, is risking you being warned...even banned? I suggest you don't. Also, you have caused enough problems in this thread that Keaton has now started threatening to close it. I do not want that. I told you in my previous post that if you make one more comment, I shall report you to an administrator. Since Keaton already knows, I'll take it to an administrator anyway. I think we can all agree you have caused too much problems in my thread. And to be honest, I've had enough. To fallenangel: Thank you for your concern. I appreciate that. To Keaton: I'm going to be reporting J-Flex to an administrator. I thank you for helping, once again. To all who have replied to this thread: I thank you all (excluding J-Flex, who has caused nothing but unappreciative and disrespectable trouble in this thread) for replying and being a part of this thread. I think we all have let out something, and I think it has been helping a few of us (including myself). Thanks again!
If there was a poster boy for outright arrogance, immaturity, insensitivity, ignorance, and about a hundred more synonyms for the aforementioned traits, you'd undoubtedly be crowned with the status. There's a point where an opinion goes too far and becomes offensive, and you've crossed that line. Your lack of compassion for the feelings and sentiments of other is absolutely despicable and I've never seen the likes of it. Your constant negativity about such a sensitive topic is both senseless and blasphemous. How dare you. How dare you. You're warned for the antagonization and disrespect of a staff member. I don't want to see one more negative post from you in this topic. You're too smug for your own god damn good, and I highly recommend you stop. Maybe you should come back to Serious Chat once you find a sense of compassion for fellow man, and regain the ability to be civil in your discussions. How you can be so emotionless and stoic about offending others is highly troublesome. You've been warned numerous times to stop. Stop it. Now.
If there was a poster boy for outright arrogance, immaturity, insensitivity, ignorance, and about a hundred more synonyms for the aforementioned traits, you'd undoubtedly be crowned with the status. There's a point where an opinion goes too far and becomes offensive, and you've crossed that line. Your lack of compassion for the feelings and sentiments of other is absolutely despicable and I've never seen the likes of it. Your constant negativity about such a sensitive topic is both senseless and blasphemous. How dare you. How dare you. You're warned for the antagonization and disrespect of a staff member. I don't want to see one more negative post from you in this topic. You're too smug for your own god damn good, and I highly recommend you stop. Maybe you should come back to Serious Chat once you find a sense of compassion for fellow man, and regain the ability to be civil in your discussions. How you can be so emotionless and stoic about offending others is highly troublesome. You've been warned numerous times to stop. Stop it. Now. [/b][/quote] Go Mark! @Kæton- you have very to the point thinking and strong points which makes you good in giving your views. Did you do debates in your school?[/Random] J-Flex-- Thinking about what you have said[or rather typed] it seems you are quiet cold towards one's feelings. A suicider does suicide not because hhe really wants to but it is because he reaches his limits and abilities to handle situations. People don't sucide for fun. Mark did a good thing by not letting us see more of your true pessimestic nature. Your case seems to be closed here. Though my post is open for some more suggestions .