ok, so i haven't had that much time to write or not that much to write about. i gotta do it when it feels natural, not forced but i found this one i must have writen a few months ago and thought 'what the hell' i'll post it! i may have to warn you though, it's not that good... Pieces Looking into the reflection Standing at the mirror The shards of glass are breaking Into all those tiny pieces Those pieces are sharp Pointing at my organs The heart ready to be plunged Sticks in like a knife The shards go everywhere Heart, brain and eyes My vision is somewhat blurred My chest can no longer expand Standing at the mirror Looking at the reflection Of someone I used to be Pieces lying on the ground My pain has been let loose My sorrow has oozed out What is left of me is now Is a shallow and dull shell
I don't know, i have to agree with you that it isn't great. It just seems a bit crude and in some bits beautiful, i think it could be good if it was polished off, but in this form it is pretty average i'm sorry to say.
thanks for reading it david. i guess my heart isn't into writing at the moment, not for pleasure anyway! thanks for the honest responce.
I agree. I do like this, but I'd think it would be better polished off. Edit: It had better not be my sig. I just changed it to a smaller size because my last one was stretching.
Alright, one of your guy's sigs is stretching the forums, and it's getting annoying. And the song is awesome. Keep it up.
it's not that good.. but it has a great line.. just like other say.. it has to be polished a bit.. it'll be great then!