New Lyrical Vent

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by jmj, May 22, 2005.

  1. #1
    jmj

    jmj Active Member

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    It's been a while and I don't know why I haven't scribbled down some lyrics. I have them floating around all the time, I guess I'll start the hendix method and write whatever pops in my head down anywhere so I can remember it.

    Well here you go it's short and not by for my best work but it's been a while since I've put my thoughts to words so here goes be gentle.

    L8ter
    JMJ

    Untitled
    Verse
    My lyrics can't describe
    The anger & hate I'm letting swell inside
    The tears, and the thoughts have all built up
    To the point where your stuck in my head and I'm mind fucked
    I pray to god I can purge the pain
    That sits and occupies my left and right brain
    Chorus

    I'd like to go back and reveal to the past
    And admit that I knew shit just wouldn't last
    I basically couldn't comprehend how
    Things that are fucked up now would have spawned from what happened then

    Verse

    You didn't stop to think of the defenses you went and activated
    You just sat back and became acclimated
    Tugging on the short leash that you put me on
    Was to short to shield from the universal backlash
    But now you see Karma's a bitch with good aim and she nailed your ass
    And now you also see that I'm more deadly with a pen or a mic in my right hand
     
  2. #2
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Good, but the whole thing felt a bit forced which can happen when you havn't written in a while. On the whole pretty good but i feel you could do better once you 'loosen up a bit'. Keep posting here ;)
     
  3. #3
    El Muerto

    El Muerto LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    not so good
     
  4. #4
    Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    ...Not good. A bit forced.
     
  5. #5
    army_skater101

    army_skater101 Member

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    it difinatly says something. but the ryhming was lost in the begining. and it felt awkward. but i like what it said.
     

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