Linkin Park's Chester Bennington Dead at 41

Discussion in 'News' started by Joe, Jul 20, 2017.

  1. Cosmo

    Cosmo Member

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    Hi guys

    I've been a daily visitor and member of the LPA since 2005 but only posted once . I've found a lot of comfort reading all of your personal accounts regarding Chester and Linkin Park and wanted to share mine really , including the recent experience I had at the O2 Arena.

    My love for LP started when I turned 11. I was an obese , unconfident wreck and on top of that my parents got divorced and we moved away with our mum. I'd never been allowed to listen to any modern music until now . The first time I turned on my freeview box I switched to the music channel and there he was , Chester Bennington , belting out the chorus to numb and instantly I connected with the lyrics, the sonograph of sounds . I remember them releasing FTI and BTH which I loved too- hearing a scream in a song for the first time . I went to HMV the day the album Meteora was released and bought it . It was the first album I ever bought and played it in the car with my mum on way home . She connected with the music too going through her divorce and it made us closer .

    I found out the next day that they were my all time best friends favourite band too. I then went to y first ever concert with him : Road to Revolution , where they filmed the live DVD. It was incredibly exciting , from the moment I heard the extended intro to OSC to them blasting out numb. I was in my first mosh pit too and got incredibly sun burned .

    My all time best friend who I met At the age of 6 and saw almost every day until he was twenty tragically tripped and fell infront of a train and passed away . Then less than 4 months later my dad at the age of 49 got diagnosed with a rare cancer and I had to watch him slowly pass away within a month of diagnosis over Christmas . I was away from family at university at the time and I suppose a coping mechanism I used was to listen to Linkin Park , they were also the connection I had to my best friend and in a way their music helped him live on in my heart .

    I also remember my mum came to pick me up from university once , she was in a new relationship and I was excitedly blasting out New Divide but I could tell she wasn't well . It turns out she was still suffering the side effects from attempting to overdose on medication due to her new relationship deteriorating . But that song switched her , gave her hope and she fought hard and has fully recovered. I have since taken her to see LP live 3 times and we even saw Dead By Sunrise soon after my dad died too.

    I'm known as the LP guy , every texts me when they hear new music (normally months after I have already had it on repeat ) . They are such a big part of my life and motivated me to lose 6.5 stone and better myself , to fight my demons . I actually went on to study medicine and work in general practice where I see lots of mental health and there's nothing more heartbreaking and complex.

    I was right at the front at The O2 this July and inches away from Chester when he came into the crowd to sing OML and crawling with a lucky lady in the audience . He seemed incredibly connected and in the moment at that time , looking at the expression on his face . I even turned to my brother and said ' it almost seems he is saying his goodbyes to us' . I find that the most haunting .

    I suppose as avid fans , in particular I almost feel partly responsible for his death as in ' why couldn't I see through his facade ? Etc'. Chester wasn't just a singer . He alone represented times in our lives and moments of struggle and pain that we always overcame because of his voice, his lyrics, his charisma . He takes us back to when we were weak and gave us the strength to get through and become who we are today. To me he represents the unity I share with my family and had done with my best friend. He represents the struggle I went through when I was younger and the determination I had to get me through . He represents part of me as a person and this is the worst part of it all : that with him passing away , I personally have lost a piece of my heart, soul and life interest .

    Mental health is the dark house pet that some people put up with and live with continuously . Just remember if you find yourself in a dark place , get help, speak to someone, get a relative or a friend to go to the doctors with you and share how you feel . You're not being silly or weak . You're a human being and a valuable part of this planet and what makes it go around . Sometimes you may not be able to see it but it doesn't mean it's any less true.
    To LP fans globally, Family and friends of Chester and anyone affected; we are here for each other and will be for the foreseeable future. We can get through this

    Love and hugs from Andy xxxxxxx
     
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  2. Francois Dillinger

    Francois Dillinger Well-Known Member

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    Hey forum.I posted the following words over to Lplive and I'm posting them here as well. I have not been following the site for some years now, but when I learned the news about Chester I felt like I had to pay my respects.

    I've known LP since 2004 when I first saw Breaking the Habit on TV, and I had been aboslutely obsessed with their music since about 2005, when I first bought Meteora and then, during one summer, everything on their discography till then, and also became a member of the good old official Linkin Park messageboard. Good times. I'd been all aboard the LP train until the Living Things era.

    All this is to say that I also was one of the kids on whose life, Linkin Park's music had a tremendous impact and looking back at it now, I have nothing but good memories. Memories of endlessly listening to HT, Meteora, M2M, Reanimation, admiring the album art, going over my friend's house only to watch Live in Texas, downloading the EP, the XERO demos and the acoustic Morning After from Berlin,2001, on Limewire (!) and obsessing with them as well. And memories of the two times I saw them live,in 2008 and 2009 which I still consider to be one of the best experiences in my life. Along with that, I made very strong friendships and relationships based on mutual love for LP, some of which still hold to this day. To sum it up, Linkin Park have offered me my first pure experience of discovering and deeply admiring music and art, an experience that shaped my interests in life as a person up to what they are today, at age 26.

    And Chester, oh man. In my head, Chester was the leader in all this. To my ears, he was the perfect voice to externalize every dark thought and feeling a young person could possibly have. I never had the difficulties he had in life and that he was singing about, but the raw energy and feeling that he put into his singing and performing was touching enough for me. I admired everything about him, from his singing talent, the way he moved on stage, his kindness, humour and down to earth mentality. Ultimately, to me, he was my major inspiration to start playing music, pick up a guitar and sing.

    Honestly, I was not expecting an end like this, This seems very vicious for Linkin Park, because to me, despite their depressive lyrics, they were always about dealing with their problems and overcoming them. Being positive and trying to power through the darkest situations. This is LP's legacy, this is Chester's impact on a whole generation of people, and can be summed up with one, very Linkin Parkish saying from back then:

    If someone falls down, PICK. THEM. UP.
     
  3. Shade

    Shade Well-Known Member

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    It has been many years since I frequented these forums. Yet when I heard the news, this was the first place I turned. I have so many good memories from this site and the community it built. I was never the most prolific poster, but I fondly remember the rap battle threads, the political discussions, and, of course, the music leak alert thread. It brings some comfort to find these forums alive and well, and to see so many names I remember from years past.

    Thanks to all who've created and supported this community. I wish this wasn't the circumstance that brought me to reconnect with it, but I'm sure glad it's here nonetheless.
     
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  4. Paree

    Paree I love my scars!

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    I posted this on facebook and i'd like to share it here as well
    I have no words to speak. I'm absolutely shocked, shattered and devastated. Anybody who know me know what Linkin Park means to me. They were not just my childhood but they were my Gods. Chester's voice touched my soul and spoke to me whenever i was alone or depressed. Its so sad to see him go like this.

    Chester had something special. Something that saved many lives, helped them to get through their difficulties including me. He meant so much to me and all of us who were fond of Linkin Park.He was one of the happiest and cheerful people i've ever seen, so much so that we never discovered what was underneath his cheerful face.

    Its funny because, i've never met him yet i feel like i lost an integral part of my life. If a person can touch millions of hearts and can make you feel like i did, you know how influential and special he was.

    A lot was going through my mind today, i tried to resist listening to Linkin Park songs but i couldn't. I cried a lot like most of us did and couldn't control. Its me, someone who never knew him personally. I can't Imagine whats going through the band members' mind. He hope they can go go through this with as much less pain as they could but its not easy. The silence from Mike, Brad and other Linkin Park Members speak a thousand words.

    I know what went through his mind when he wrote "Halfway Right". "All you said to do was slow down, but i was already gone". Damn, this hurts. I have no more words to speak.

    Its his voice that brought us all together. I hope the whole Linkin Park Family can go through this loss.

    Still feels unreal and unbelievable.
     
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  5. Anne

    Anne married to the ocean LPA VIP

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    I haven't been here in quite a while, but God, it's good to know that there's still a place where we can support each other. It all feels so unreal, I randomly stop and realize that he is actually gone, and then it stops making sense again. There's still so much denial. Seeing interviews on TV with the band, with Chester, it feels so weird, this is about people I've met, people whose music always gave me something to hold onto, and now one of them is gone. I can't make sense out of it. He wasn't 'just a singer' to me - his music always helped me and made me feel better when I needed it. There was so much energy, so much spirit. Chester saved lives, and I'm devestated and heartbroken that, in the end, he felt like he had to take his own.

    Thank you, Chester, for everything you've given the world. Your music, your kindness, your strength. I hope you find peace, and I hope that his family and the band will be able to work through the pain.
     
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  6. Blake

    Blake Leave a Trace LPA Super Member

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    My friend on Facebook believes this. Believes they were murdered by the same people
     
  7. Michele

    Michele Praise Brad Delson, our Lord and Savior. LPA Addict

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    wow...
     
  8. Slash Stradlin

    Slash Stradlin Guns N' Roses

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    Chester will always be in my heart, I am going to see this that he just left Linkin Park and retired. He can never die for me.
     
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  9. Shadester

    Shadester (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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    My heart hasn't stopped hurting. Chester was my childhood.
     
  10. Forfeit to Break

    Forfeit to Break Well-Known Member

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    Linkin Park were one of the things in my life that made me happy. A comfort blanket. I feel selfish to hurt this bad when I'm not his family or even a friend, all of whom must be in immense pain and I hope somehow everyone's love and admiration for Chester can help them maybe just a tiny bit. this feels like such a personal loss and I'm really struggling.
     
  11. HybridT

    HybridT @EST.2001

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    It's like I've always listened to LP from my point of view, instead of listening to it from Chester's point of view.
     
  12. Derek

    Derek LPAssociation.com Administrator LPA Administrator

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    It's so weird to listen to Sorry For Now, knowing it's a song Mike wrote for his kids, but realizing it's probably the best song for Chester to his family, friends and fans in the wake of his passing.

    So I'll be sorry for now
    That I couldn't be around
    Sometimes things refuse
    To go the way we planned
    Oh I'll be sorry for now
    That I couldn't be around
    There will be a day
    That you will understand
    You will understand
     
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  13. YoMarques

    YoMarques Linkin Park Soldier. LPUer.

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    I've been wanting to write here since yesterday, about a particular thing, but I honestly didn't know, and still don't know, where to start.
    I hope you guys won't think this is innapropriate or selfish, it's a time to mourn, but beside all the pain and devastation I'm feeling, there's also doubt, and unanswered questions we might not ever get to know. Also, I'm sorry if any of you have touched this subject already, I haven't been able to read everything.
    I've been seeing many people post recent interviews from Chester, mainly ones leading up to the release of OML, where he openly talks about his problems/depression, and how 2015/2016 was a really tough period for him. They've been saying the interviews and especially OML were a clear cry for help, and nobody noticed, or listened... And I've just been asking myself if I'm the only one who sees him speak, who listens to the songs, and takes different things from it as well... He talks about how this album was kind of a turning point, how it was like a positive outlet, not only to him but the whole band, how he started therapy, opened up even more to the boys and his family, how he didn't want to be "that other guy", how his mind was indeed a bad place to be, but doing the things he loved and this particular album was helping him deal with what life was giving him, be it something positive or negative, and mainly how he was loving life at the moment and started to be happy again. So I look at OML, and all these interviews, and honestly see hope more than any other thing, even after his passing. Yes, the lyrics have a darkness to it, but just like he explained with Heavy, it sounds more like a "yes, these things are here, but I'm learning how to deal with them, and I'm honestly happy and want you guys to see this as a hopeful message, and not a cry for help". Please don't think I'm saying everything was solved in his life. I've had a depression for many, many years, I lost my aunt to cancer after a long and tough battle for her and all of us around her, and I never take these things lightly, at all. I'm not pretending to know what was going on in his head. I know how the line between "everything is going well" and going back to the darkest of places is so, so thin. I also read how some people think the interviewers were taking everything he was saying lightly, that they weren't understanding... And I honestly wonder, and I hope I can put this down without looking like I'm selfish, or not taking the issue seriously... Wouldn't Chester want us to actually feel that way, a little bit?... Not that he was taking his own problems lightly, but for us to feel that he was dealing with them and there were positive things coming out of it. I mean, that's how C was, right? Even while talking about the most complex of things, he would still find a way of showing so much hope, to himself and to us... So, to me, more than OML or the interviews being a cry for help, I honestly think it was, and still is, somewhat the opposite. He honestly looked happy when talking about the album, when performing it, when giving it all for us. Was everything okay? Of course not... But OML still doesn't feel like a hidden message of crying for help... I honestly think the passing of Chris made him go back to "that other guy" he didn't want to be, and that's maybe when he stopped talking to people and things just got tougher and it ended how it did. Please don't think I'm trying to say what was going on in his head... I don't know, none of us did and we honestly never will, but I just wanted to share this vision I had and still have of OML and his interviews... I'm not saying he didn't need help... But I think OML was actually part of his help, rather than asking for it...
    Like I said, I hope this is not innapropriate or selfish... I'm in pain, devastated, sometimes angry and then sad... It comes in waves, like to all of us, and I'm honestly so thankful and grateful to have this beautiful family and we'll support each other through all of this. We'll be here for each other, and for them. They need us and we need them. We'll always, ALWAYS be a big family. I love you all.
     
  14. Deliveranze

    Deliveranze Well-Known Member

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    Was thinking the same thing. It really wasn't one of my favorite tracks on OML but my appreciation for it has risen several levels when I think about it after Chester.
     
  15. Ben

    Ben Well-Known Member

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    Well...except I don't think there will be a day where ANYONE will really understand. Family included, unfortunately.
     
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  16. Blake

    Blake Leave a Trace LPA Super Member

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    I have been thinking the same exact thing. If Chester sang it, it would be a very depressing song.
     
  17. One More Rob

    One More Rob Well-Known Member

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    I have never felt this bad even two days from the info I am an emotional mess. In hindsight I also feel bad about my comments towards OML. I was one of the many that heavily hated on it and, in gneral I never mince words, because even though "unminced" words hurt badly, when you mince your words to me and tell me after, that hurts me even more. Since my prolems with OML as an album, were mostly related with stuff that chester had to do with (lyrics and vocal delivery), I wouldn't say I feel responsible, but I feel bad about saying what I did, because in hindisight I do know where hes coming from. Like for a lack of a better word, it had to come to this to realize how meaningful the lyrics really are.

    Chester. I miss you so much. You were like the brother I never got to have.
     
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  18. Ben

    Ben Well-Known Member

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    A lot of people have said that, but you shouldn't put your opinions of the album in the category of reasons Chester made that choice. How many years did this band put up with criticism because of a new direction? It wasn't the backlash the album received, and you can't put that on yourself. Chester was deep, deep within his own head for at least the last year, it seems.
     
  19. Dannyc

    Dannyc Well-Known Member

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    Now anger is setting in because of this and i've been blasting one step closer all day and when chester says
    "I find the answers arent so clear, Wish i can find a way to disappear, all these thoughts they make no sense "
    Now i see Chester was struggling all these years from day 1
     
  20. Doridorica

    Doridorica Well-Known Member

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    I really need a break, I can't function like this anymore or should I say I don't function. I know we all feel like this so I don't want to sound selfish. I wish my brain would take a break for just one hour, think about something else. This is getitng out of hand, I was driving and couldn't care less if I get fined or drive too fast in curves. I need to start thinking about other things, jusf for an hour or two a day. I have no idea how but otherwise I'll go crazy.
     
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