Jawknee's Poetry

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Jawknee, May 16, 2003.

  1. #21
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    ::Looks up at topic title::

    It's poetry, my friend; not lyrics. ;)

    But thanks for the positive remarks. It was much appreciated. :)
     
  2. #22
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    yes, i no, i just mean your words, how you said (well, actually, typed ) out your words. really good. bring back some more 'poetry'!!
     
  3. #23
    Part.Of.Me

    Part.Of.Me Banned

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    Wow.. We have alot of really talented people on these Forums :mellow:

    Damn.. I never knew poetry could be good till I read these.. Awsome Neo! Good job..
     
  4. #24
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    This girl and I got close in the summer a few years ago. She sent me all these signals that she liked me so I told her the truth that I liked her but she rejected the idea of taking it further than friendship. After that, we still remained friends but I kept admiring her and her beauty inspired me to write. Here's a poem I wrote for her.

    <div align=center>Wednesday

    I’ve come so far, why should I give up now?
    I fall for her all over again whenever she’s around.
    Her voice soothes me and calms my stress.
    She brings out inner feelings each time my day’s a mess.
    She’s the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep.
    It all started out so little yet I knew it’d grow so deep.
    Money is the root of all evil, jealousy is the key to such pain.
    Dreams can bring such happiness, and love can do all the same.
    I admire how she can take me apart and put me back together.
    The way she opens the doors of my soul and shines on me is all so clever.
    In the sunlight or in the pouring rain,
    The way I adore her would never change.
    The idea of abandoning my emotions is easier said then done.
    My heart will move on when it’s time, but for now she is my sun.
    More than anything I want a smile to remain on her face.
    Love can’t be forced, but with the right ingredients, it can be made.
    Things in life shall never remain the same.
    With a little time and space, there’s a possibility her feelings could change.
    Each morning I rise with the tune of her singing in my head.
    I had to tell her how I felt, no longer could I hide or pretend.
    Just a giggle sends my senses into a turbulent and amazing ride.
    Only a glance from her eyes and my heart is pounding rapidly inside.
    There are times I plan things word by word,
    But each time I’m ready to tell her, I lose my nerve.
    I walk around hoping that it’s the day she has a change of heart.
    I’m not that someone in her life and so it does tear me apart.
    I anticipate that someday in some way the winds will shift direction,
    And this beautiful, superb queen will give me her affection.
    I daydream of her since my dreams of the night before are nebulous in the morning.
    I could stay indoors and write about her all day when outside the rain is pouring.
    She’s my inspiration to my hopes and dreams.
    She’s such an icon because she’s much more than she seems.
    She knows my past and what I’ve been through.
    Maybe she’s hiding something and I don’t know the whole truth.
    Talking and laughing with each other is almost each day.
    Taking her hand and walking along the shores of the ocean is a dream away.
    I dream deep of a getaway far from the other people in our lives.
    We could sit upon a high mountain and watch the sunset side by side.
    I’m ready to commit and devote with the snap of her fingers.
    Years from here, you will see that my feelings for her will still linger.
    Sometimes I just lay there in bed with so much of her on my mind.
    She just seems to take up almost all of my time.
    Maybe things will never change and she’ll never have that feel.
    Hopefully we’ll never stop being close and real.
    If we can’t settle down and start a love,
    I want her to still be that special angel sent from above.
    Just another repetitive day out of many, why bother to go out and have fun?
    Because she was a part of this as the other days, and that makes it special enough.</div>
     
  5. #25
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

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    I've just got one word to say: THATS F*CKING AMAZING SH!T!! :p

    1..2..3..4...Ok I just have 4 words to say...
     
  6. #26
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    wow. WOW :eek: GREAT!!! dammit, i wish i can write like you, neo. not fair.
     
  7. #27
    [Darken Hybrid]

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    wow, Neo. I'm impressed. You have done a wondeful job writing those poems. They are all awesome, honestly.
     
  8. #28
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    All of your comments have been much appreciated; thank you all! ^_^
     
  9. #29
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    I was fortunate enough to have a poem published in a book. I guess heartbreak has its advantages. So anyway, that girl I went to Winter Ball with, well, even though she said she didn't want to take it further than friends, we sorta did. We went to a party where we ended up making out. After that night, we started getting really close and people started assuming we were going steady. Well, our Valentine's Day date came, and on that night, she said we had to stop. It was the worst thing in the world to be turned down twice. Not only that, I was feeling love towards her, but she only called it lust - ouch.

    Here's the poem that was published. Following this will be the original version, as the original was too long for the book.

    Oh yeah, this is not the typical type of poem I write. It is structured to give it more emphasis where I want it. The last word of each line is also the first of the next line; or something like that - think of it as one long sentence. It's a type of style I was taught my sophomore year in high school, but I can't remember the name.


    Ponder (Version 2)

    to consider carefully and think
    deeply
    my feelings were for you
    said not to take it the wrong way
    is how i took
    it
    never felt so good and yet so painful
    my heart was sometimes
    you could make me feel so happy.

    you ended it too soon and now i reminisce about
    the past
    few nights i’ve cried for you so hard
    it is to get through the days
    are just so pointless and monotonous
    my life once was until you stepped in
    and then you stepped out of my life
    revolves around you
    are the reason i smile and i’d do anything to get you back
    in my arms and feel your lips against mine again
    love has deceived me.

    -----

    Ponder

    to consider carefully and think
    deeply
    my feelings were for you
    said not to take it the wrong way
    is how i took
    it
    never felt so good and yet so painful
    my heart was sometimes
    you could make me feel so happy

    i never thought things like this would happen between us
    we shared a secret no one knew
    how much i cared
    for you
    i would have done anything and i still
    will
    you remember the times
    we shared
    romantic moments but you called it lust

    you ended it too soon and now i reminisce about
    the past
    few nights i’ve cried for you so hard
    it is to get through the days
    are just so pointless and monotonous
    my life once was until you stepped in
    and then you stepped out of my life
    revolves around you
    are the reason i smile and i’d do anything to get you back
    in my arms and feel your lips against mine again
    love has deceived me

    i didn’t see it coming because there was no sign
    of you saying to just leave it all behind you
    and i
    believe i was meant to be yours and you to be mine for all
    time
    can only decide what becomes of my cries
    are of you but i still care for you with all my might
    i hold it inside so goodbye
    my valentine
    you may come back to me anytime
     
  10. #30
    Omar

    Omar Administrator LPA Super Member

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    Ponder is excellent, you can tell when something is just pressed out of a factory and when it's pressed out of someone's heart, truly astounding :)
     
  11. #31
    sup103

    sup103 Ambient

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    Jawknee, err.....Neo, err......you there! That was a really good poem, I can relate to it in a way. ^_^
     
  12. #32
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    good job. like always. :D
     
  13. #33
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    Thank you everyone for the praise. :)
     
  14. #34
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    how did you get so good @ writing, ne---i mean jawknee?
     
  15. #35
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    Heartbreak...depression...anger...

    Sad, but true.
     
  16. #36
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    yea, its sad, but whats it worth for belting out some songs?





    jk, but i really do love your writing. keep doing a good job! (like always)
     
  17. #37
    [Darken Hybrid]

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    yeah, whenever I get really angry or sad I get this feeling to write rhymes.
     
  18. #38
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    Thanks to whoever it was that changed this to "Jawknee's Poetry." :D
     
  19. #39
    Terry

    Terry Yeah, but I wish you were my shadow. LPA Super Member

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    yeah, whenever I get really angry or sad I get this feeling to write rhymes. [/b][/quote]
    Same with me. It's weird.
     
  20. #40
    Jawknee

    Jawknee Guest




    Remember that girl I had a summer thing with? Well, she moved at the end of summer! I was so upset when she told me she had to move because even though I was heartbroke that she didn't have feelings for me, we were still being great friends. I made her a CD of all the songs that reminded me of the memories we had that summer, along with a small poem inside.

    <div align=center>
    Memorable

    As time goes by, I want to hold onto our memories so tight…
    I’m scared to watch my angel take flight…
    Worried to see her leave my side and vanish from my sight…
    In the silence my heart is pounding loudly…
    The tears I can’t resist to hold back as they fight profoundly…
    Your voice echoing in my ear as I toss and turn, never again to sleep soundly…
    You need not say a word for I can read your thoughts like a book…
    I tried to deny to myself that you’ll be departing but now I’m all shook…
    I’ve come to grips that things won’t be the same and look how long it took…
    It’s hard enough that I’m sadly anticipating the day you must go…
    I don’t know whether I should hold myself back or let myself flow…
    If I can’t fight it, my true feelings of lament will show…
    But you must not cry so much for we will meet again…
    This is only a goodbye, not the end…
    We will always be one another’s friend…
    I’ll always have the chance to reminisce on our memories from the past…
    These memories will be more reflective as time passes in the hourglass…
    I’ll never forget you with these moments that we share…that we forever have…</div>
     

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