Just anything that would make me not feel like I am not broken and useless every single damn day would be great. That's my idea of normal. Other then that, things are wonderful.
I think this topic has really run its course. You can put in the GSYWTLOT thread in Serious Chat. But there is honestly no need for you to keep beating yourself over whatever has happened. Take the event, take what you've learned from it and use that knowledge however you see fit. By coming back and whatnot, you've obviously found the strength to face and overcome whatever it was that got you down in the first place. Coping with (what I translate as) Bi-Polarity for as long as you say is a real achievement. Be proud of yourself rather than putting yourself down all the bloody time. It pisses me off seeing a decent person go down that road. Overcoming the obstacles. That's what makes us 'normal'. Don't dwell on the past when there's no reason to. Never ever blame yourself for other people's shortcomings. From what I've gathered from my lurkings, you are a good woman. I don't want to see you say otherwise. Give me a shout if you need a chat or whatever.