Got Something You Want To Let Out?

i can relate to that. fucking sucks.

 

One thing I guess I should tell you all is that first off... I really don't think anyone on LPA really likes me, but whatever... and I haven't been on LPA for quite awhile because it's been very hard for me to cope with Katelyn's death... I can't take this much anymore.

 

Sometimes I feel like taking my penknife and slashing it through my veins for no reason.

 

why do you say that? i can't speak for anyone else but i haven't been here long and i think this is the first time i have seen you post.
so hello

and i am so sorry about this person's death. it sounds like it has been really hard for you. :hugz:

don't be a stranger. it would be nice to get to know you.

 

I like you if its any consolation! Why not see a counsellor or something? :hugz:

 

I hate how i look. I'll never be happy about how i look. I'm not skinny enough. I've even made myself throw up more than once. Another thing is that I don't have a "scene". My best friend always talks about her Indie(sp) scene and it takes a lot for her to like something and wear certain things if she doesn't think it fits her scene. It's hard to shop with her and it's hard for me because i don't have a scene. I like rock, I guess? I don't even know what it's called anymore. She loves to lable different music. Even by what record label it's on. I still love her and she's my best friend but i'm so confused sometimes. I envy her for her self confidence though. I don't have that. I can never just look at my self and say,"wow i'm awsome" She does that a lot and i've never been able to do that.

 

Its not a confession, but just something i want to let out..



i like my new hair style. w00t.

 

Angie is really driving me crazy. She says that we're going back out, but in the 5 days we've been out, I've only talked to her once. Now I would call her myself, but I don't know if she's home or not. She told me that she has alot of stuff to do involving work and such. I just hope she's not ignoring me.

 

Yey! Summer! ...and I get to go driving tomorrow!
I really need to start exercizing though. I feel that I will be weak by mid-age. I'm really too lazy though.

 

i need to go out somewhere, i sometimes have the energy to go out. but the thing is, if i go out, people start thinking i'm just sciving off school because i seem fine to them, and sometimes i am fine. people don't understand M.E and i hate it. i need to talk to someone...

 

I never wanted my little brother

 

I hate the fact that I'm always there for others when they need help or advice. No one just -really- cares when I need something.
Plus,yesterday I tried to help someone who cuts. He practically threw me off.

Damn,I give up on this.
Idiots.

 

Why do people ignore other people because they're less popular then them, especially in High School. I hate High School, and I'm really sick of being ignored. One day a kid through a stink bomb and told on me, and I never got in trouble because the teacher or principal could never find out my name, on one knows who I am! It has it's advantages and disadvantages as you may see.

 

SHE'S COMING BACK IN 6 DAYS.



AND SLIPKNOT IS PERFORMING HERE.

 

I'm sick of this shit. Everybody either hangs around me for money, or so I'll drive them around (I just got a real nice car). In fact, I just lost two...nay, three best friends this week, two for an unknown reason (i.e., the other day, after having a real awesome time, I got the "you probably shouldn't come out today" from Carla, and I asked why, the answer was "we don't want to hang out with you anymore"), and the other because she tried the exact same thing, she caught on and went all nuts, saying "aw, we should hang out, I haven't seen you in a long time!", then immediately bringing her ex-bf out and proceeding to make out with him for three hours. Of course, this is after I drove her the hour-odd trip out to Steinbach, and paid for her ticket to the little fair there. I left on my own terms, waited until they were on a ride and left. I'd love to know how she got back home :whistle:

And to make it worse, my parents are trying to squish my plans for next year...namely, a multi-thousand-dollar trip to see my best friend (who I haven't seen in a year so far) on her birthday...I'll motherfucking WALK if I have to.

I'm just so god damn sick of this shit, it all piles on me at the same time. Oh yeah, and my grandpa might have cancer. Perfect. :angry:

 

I got this really bad feeling that Angie's mom grounded her from the outside world (hence the no communication) and the only way that she'll uplift it is that me and Angie break up for good. (See, her mom can't stand me)

God damn I worry too much

 

Man, that sucks. *hug*

 

I'm scared I won't fit with the others at the Global Young Leaders Conference of this year. I read some posts on the boards where people introduced themselves and when I compare myself to them, I feel like I'm good for nothing. I'm not involved in any clubs at school, I'm not on the religious side of things, I don't give some of my time to help others, I smoke pot, I like to drink from time to time, I smoke cigarette occasionally and love to go out at night and get home at 2 in the morning... Everybody looks so perfect that I feel like a Junkie or a drug addict, however you name it

 

Damnit I'm so confused!!!

Couple weeks ago my ex-girlfriend came up to me saying she wanted to be friends again, alright cool deal. Then a few days after that, she said she still liked me, and wanted a relationship.

Sweet, rock out loud.

I like her a lot, but about 5 days ago her other ex-boyfriend wrecked his car, broke his neck and is now laid up in a hospital bed. He used to hit her and shit when they were dating, but now I guess she has sympathy feelings for him (or real feelings) and is now "torn" on what she wants.

This...fucking...sucks. I dunno what to do, but then again I don't think there is much I could do anyway.

:whistle: