Got Something You Want To Let Out?

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Mechanical Christ, Aug 25, 2004.

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  1. Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Some people REALLY need to talk things out or else im going on killing spree :lol:
     
  2. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    Now *that* I'd like to watch. Anybody's got some popcorn? :lol: B)
     
  3. Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Now *that* I'd like to watch. Anybody's got some popcorn? :lol: B) [/b][/quote]
    Im talking about you and Leonie :p So if you got any popcorn, just hand it over to me :lol:
     
  4. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    Im talking about you and Leonie :p So if you got any popcorn, just hand it over to me :lol: [/b][/quote]
    I'm not stupid you know ;) But if she won't quit with the comments, I won't either :teehee: [/childishmode]

    Still!

    Get your hands OFF my POPCORN! It's MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

    :p

    2 girls on msn offer to have a bitchfight in front of the webcam, jeej :shifty: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. Leones

    Leones Super Member LPA Super Member

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    I'm not stupid you know ;) But if she won't quit with the comments, I won't either :teehee: [/childishmode]

    Still!

    Get your hands OFF my POPCORN! It's MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

    :p

    2 girls on msn offer to have a bitchfight in front of the webcam, jeej :shifty: :lol: :lol: [/b][/quote]
    what comments elco?
    we talked it out twice
    i thought
    but you just keep going
    please
    PLEASE
    Stop
     
  6. Chris

    Chris LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    I gotta say Elco, you start alot of fights on here. Maybe it isnt always the best thing to say the truth. Its always better to make someone happy then turning them into depressing-mode. And if you dont like the person, tell her/him but do it carefully so you dont harm her feelings.
     
  7. forgotten girl

    forgotten girl Ambient

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    and now that bitch is trying to get away from me my closest friend...

    :mad:
     
  8. User Name

    User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

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    Why can't we all just get along? :lol:
     
  9. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    This is the last thing I'll say about it here. After all the subtle (and lately, not-so-subtle) hints i've dropped you *still* don't get it, do you? It never came up in your thoughts that, oh, elco's comments are a bit harsh, maybe we still have unfinished business? This is the last thing I can think of to post all this.. I'm grasping at straws here to *try* to make you understand. I'd rather send it as an email, but since you never reply to my replies on your strange oneline emails you've been sending, I figure you've probably blocked me on your mail too, just as you did with IMing here and MSN and all that.

    Things I'm angry about:

    1) the 'my ex is an asshole' comments you've posted at this board. you insisted on an apology the for comment i made when we just broke up, yet you're refusing to give an apology for yours.

    2) the comments floating around in school. instead of saying them to my face, you're painting me black in front of a lot of people, a lot of wich eventually reach my ears, and as such it seems you're trying to do everything in your power to keep hurting me, especially since you know that (even though a relationship wasn't cut out for us) i still love you.

    and 3) no, we *haven't* talked it out. We couldn't, since you've blocked me on msn without notice, you ignore any smses I might send and you refuse to talk with me. What the hell do you think I'm supposed to do? Just let you hurt me over and over and over again? You're pushing me in a victim's role I definately don't want, and I *cannot* get over you with you treatin me like I'm some pile of shit.

    I didn't want this to enter the boards (in any form, this ór the comments i made), but you've let me no option. Subtle hints were of no use and non-subtle hints neither, apparently.

    You didn't want me as a friend, because it's either all or nothing with you. It's a shame, but no problem. That, hoewever, does *not* give you sufficient reason to talk shit about me behind my back, or paint me black in front of others, or hurt me in any other way. It's *over*, but apparently you still want to out your frustrations on me or get my attention in some freakish weird way. STOP IT.

    You've send me weird one-line emails just to attract my attention, wich only raises questions, but when I mail questions back you don't reply. Stop it.

    You *cannot* expect me to go along with these games, with you attracting my attention on the other hand and painting me black and making spitefull comments behind my back on the other hand, so I draw the line here.

    I understand that you're maybe not experienced enough to end a relationship in a mature way. Hell, I can even be very immature at times, and i'm almost 3 years older then you. But I still believe you are mature enough for an apology and to stop outing your frustrations on me, so that's what I expext and that's what I want.

    Even if you don't want to apologize, even if you want to continue making comments behind my back, then leave me fucking be allright? You said, when we broke up, that you were already getting over me but only realized when it was already done and over with. It's bad enough that you don't want to stay friends (even though it's come way too far for that even had you wanted it), and you want me out of your life (or so you say), but this is even worse. You might have been over me from the moment you said: 'I don't think it's going to work', but you didn't even gave me the chance to get over *you*! Let me fucking get over you, allright?

    You know, normally I couldn't care less what people say about me. It's a lot different when an ex-girlfriend whom you still love with all of your heart does the same. I would have believed you would understand that, but now I don't know anymore. I hope you do.

    But maybe I've tackled this all the wrong way.. Maybe I should have done exactly the same, refusing to apologize, painting you black in front of my school mates, talking stuff behind your back, laying bare any and all embarrased moments you had while in my company for any and all willing to hear about 'em, and generally be a first-class asshole. Maybe I should have done that, it would have hurt less.

    But then again, maybe I shouldn't.

    I still think I made the right choice.

    I don't want to be an asshole, but if given no other choice, I will. Eventually, *because* we haven't got a relationship anymore, I'll rather make you feel miserable with spitefull comments then going down the drain because of yours./

    I want to be able to remember all the good times we had. For I've certainly had some of the most wonderful memories of my life with you. But this shit is ruining all that. It's almost come down to the fact that whenever I think of you, all I can think of is the times we argued, fought. And I hate that. Absolutely hate that, since it makes me feel like I've wasted the last half year of my life and I don't want that.I want to remember you as the love of my life you've been to me.

    But maybe it's too late for apologies. I don't know if any of the good memories can come back. You say you don't do anything, yet I hear this stuff from ALOT of people (so they can't all be lying!) that you're saying about me. I hear that you hate me, that you wished you never had a relationship with me, that the sex was bad, that we never had any good moments, that you could never come to me with problems, so you're also lying..

    At this point, maybe I mirror something of what you're saying to other people. At this point, after all that's happened, maybe i'd rather *not* have been in a relationship with you. Yes, i've learned from it. Yes, I've had a wonderful time with you. But afterwards, you do everything you can to destroy all that. And you continue to act innocent, that's the worst part. And at the same time you're talking all this shit about me to people, you're saying that *i'm* the one saying shit about you and lying and stuff while I haven't said *one* bad word about you to anyone, except for the fact that I still lay awake at night crying, as is usual per breaking up with someone you love!

    It seems that you're not allowing me to get over you, yet you're kicking me in any way you can. What the HELL do you want? Just.. just.. Stop all this shit, leave me alone so I can get over you (NO emails, NO talking behind my back, NO painting me black, NO saying everybody how much you hate me and NO MORE playing fucking innocent!), and generally, since it's gone too far to be friends (even if you wanted that), get the *fuck* out of my life!!!

    Even if you hate me, or think our relationship was a mistake, or you enjoy painting me black or in any other way kicking me while i'm down and as such pushing me in a victim's role, still have the fucking courtesy to apologize, make sure that that shit you're saying to everyone does *not* reach my ears and stop contacting me while giving me *no* means to contact you back so I can fucking get over you allright!

    I'm fucking shaking here... Arrgh!

    Basically: I loved you. (Still do, since I haven't gotten over you yet) That basically means that I gave you the power to completely crush me, yet I trusted you NOT to do it. I should never have let myself love you in the first place, since now you can break me more then anyone else ever could. That's my mistake, I shouldn't have let that happen, in retrospect. But the fact that I placed my heart in your hands ENDED the MOMENT we broke up, and you should give me the oppertunity to take it back, instead of crushing it.

    Maybe you're just frustrated or something, I don't know. Maybe you think I shouldn't have let you go so easily... Maybe you're doing the shit it subconciously, not on purpose. Maybe only a small part of the things that reach my ears is shit by you and the rest is by people that try to hurt me since they normally cannot. It wouldn't be above some. That could all be true, but that still does leave a lot, and that still does not 'make everything allright'!!!

    I shouldn't fill in for you. So now I ask you: WHY are you doing the things you're doing?

    You even talk shit about me wherever you can non-irl! On msn (i recieved a few screenshots), on MySpace.. Who knows where else. Saying that you hate me so much, that I lie, that you can't believe you were in a relationship with me.. Atleast you're not painting me black in those areas as you do with me when you talk to people at school.. Saying I live on a garbage belt, that I smell bad, that I'm bad in bed and what else more..

    But still, you need to fucking stop it!! I don't know *what* your problem is, but whatever it is, it does not justify painting me black in front of others! Especially since I haven't sad a bad thing about you to anyone, except calling you a bitch for this stuff... I can't paint you black, for I still love you, since you don't let me have the chance to get over you!

    Maybe I'm overreacting.. Normally I don't give a fuck if people spread lies about me.. It's just that... I've got alot more stuff to deal with. You are one part. School is another. A girl i've known for a few years is yet anóther part. School I'm dealing with, it's shrinking. But that's still too much, thats why I want you to STOP!

    Please. :'( :angry:


    I've probably said a lot of stuff double, and this post is probably confusing as hell as grammar goes, but I wanted to make sure I didn't forget to put anything down here


    I might be able to deal with this all if I just knew the reason Why.


    Why are you refusing to talk it out?

    Why have you send me one-lined emails without giving me the oppertunity to reply?

    Why are you saying shit behind my back?

    Why are you painting me black?

    Why are you posting everywhere how much you hate me and how much you wished you never had met me?

    Why are you trying to hurt me so much?

    Why are you refusing to apologize?

    Why are you refusing to let me get over you?

    Why are you refusing to let me get over you?

    Why are you refusing to let me get *over* *you*?

    It almost seems as if you don't *want* me to get over you, but then I must ask: Why?

    Why can't we just break up like it usually goes after a relationship? They way it's always been, atleast in my relationships? You break up, you get over each other and you stay friends since you know a *lot* about each other, and it either stays or slowly bleeds to death, but you both remember the good things and how much you loved the other?

    Why?



    =============


    New subject. The girl I posted that huge post on a page or so back? (Thanks again Jenn, I needed that hug ^_^) I've decided i've waited long enough for an answer (about 4 full days), so I sent an sms with "well. atleast that's clear."
    and NOW she suddenly sends an sms back with 'I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention to not reply, I might have time this thursday".. I feel like I'm back in the washing machine again.

    Everytime I basically say to her: Fuck off, she basically says: Pleeease come to me.. And everytime I basically say to her: Pleeease come to me.. She basically says: Fuck off.

    It's draining my energy. :(

    edit: My mom read all this and now I've edited the wrong post. sorry.
     
  10. Friskey™

    Friskey™ LPA Super Member LPA Addict

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    I can't stop thinking about this one girl!
     
  11. Sonic

    Sonic Searching for the last Chaos Emerald... LPA Super Member

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    Here are some from me...

    I'm a very emotional person.

    I get mad at a lot of things (video games, etc.)

    I've never smoked anything in my life, and don't plan to.

    I feel like everyone dis-likes me at school (but who doesn't right?)

    I couldn't lie if my life depended on it.

    I'm very down on myself about the way I look.

    I'm lazy.

    I've only had 1 real girlfriend and she turned out to be something that comes from hell.

    Every girl I like eaither has a boyfriend, just wants to be friends, or is one of them people who thinks looks is the best part of a person (I don't think I'm very good-looking).

    I hate hypocritic(sp?) people.

    I hate school, but yet I wanna go to college :mellow:

    I hardly hangout with anyone, and I'm usually alone 90% of my days.

    I'm almost 18 and I'm scared of life outside of school (working, beign on my own, etc.)

    That's all I can think of now :p
     
  12. Mechanical Christ

    Mechanical Christ Ein heißer Schrei LPA Super Member

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    Have you ever had the feeling, you miss someone so bad, that if given a wish, you wouldn't wish for world peace, or to be a billionaire, or to have eternal happiness, but just to spend time with that person?




    :(


    I've been a good girl. I've been actually studying and doing my homework. I even improved on all my recent tests, better than my slackness-induced ones.

    Yet things are turning out so shitfully.


    It's like groundhog day. I wake up zombified, go to school, undergo torture, come home, slave over work, crawl to bed busted, wake up zombified, go to school, undergo torture, come home, slave over work, crawl to bed busted, wake up zombified, go to school, undergo torture, come home, slave over work, crawl to bed busted, wake up zombified, go to school, undergo torture, come home, slave over work, crawl to bed busted.
     
  13. Leones

    Leones Super Member LPA Super Member

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    This is the last thing I'll say about it here. After all the subtle (and lately, not-so-subtle) hints i've dropped you *still* don't get it, do you? It never came up in your thoughts that, oh, elco's comments are a bit harsh, maybe we still have unfinished business? This is the last thing I can think of to post all this.. I'm grasping at straws here to *try* to make you understand. I'd rather send it as an email, but since you never reply to my replies on your strange oneline emails you've been sending, I figure you've probably blocked me on your mail too, just as you did with IMing here and MSN and all that.

    Things I'm angry about:

    1) the 'my ex is an asshole' comments you've posted at this board. you insisted on an apology the for comment i made when we just broke up, yet you're refusing to give an apology for yours.

    2) the comments floating around in school. instead of saying them to my face, you're painting me black in front of a lot of people, a lot of wich eventually reach my ears, and as such it seems you're trying to do everything in your power to keep hurting me, especially since you know that (even though a relationship wasn't cut out for us) i still love you.

    and 3) no, we *haven't* talked it out. We couldn't, since you've blocked me on msn without notice, you ignore any smses I might send and you refuse to talk with me. What the hell do you think I'm supposed to do? Just let you hurt me over and over and over again? You're pushing me in a victim's role I definately don't want, and I *cannot* get over you with you treatin me like I'm some pile of shit.

    I didn't want this to enter the boards (in any form, this ór the comments i made), but you've let me no option. Subtle hints were of no use and non-subtle hints neither, apparently.

    You didn't want me as a friend, because it's either all or nothing with you. It's a shame, but no problem. That, hoewever, does *not* give you sufficient reason to talk shit about me behind my back, or paint me black in front of others, or hurt me in any other way. It's *over*, but apparently you still want to out your frustrations on me or get my attention in some freakish weird way. STOP IT.

    You've send me weird one-line emails just to attract my attention, wich only raises questions, but when I mail questions back you don't reply. Stop it.

    You *cannot* expect me to go along with these games, with you attracting my attention on the other hand and painting me black and making spitefull comments behind my back on the other hand, so I draw the line here.

    I understand that you're maybe not experienced enough to end a relationship in a mature way. Hell, I can even be very immature at times, and i'm almost 3 years older then you. But I still believe you are mature enough for an apology and to stop outing your frustrations on me, so that's what I expext and that's what I want.

    Even if you don't want to apologize, even if you want to continue making comments behind my back, then leave me fucking be allright? You said, when we broke up, that you were already getting over me but only realized when it was already done and over with. It's bad enough that you don't want to stay friends (even though it's come way too far for that even had you wanted it), and you want me out of your life (or so you say), but this is even worse. You might have been over me from the moment you said: 'I don't think it's going to work', but you didn't even gave me the chance to get over *you*! Let me fucking get over you, allright?

    You know, normally I couldn't care less what people say about me. It's a lot different when an ex-girlfriend whom you still love with all of your heart does the same. I would have believed you would understand that, but now I don't know anymore. I hope you do.

    But maybe I've tackled this all the wrong way.. Maybe I should have done exactly the same, refusing to apologize, painting you black in front of my school mates, talking stuff behind your back, laying bare any and all embarrased moments you had while in my company for any and all willing to hear about 'em, and generally be a first-class asshole. Maybe I should have done that, it would have hurt less.

    But then again, maybe I shouldn't.

    I still think I made the right choice.

    I don't want to be an asshole, but if given no other choice, I will. Eventually, *because* we haven't got a relationship anymore, I'll rather make you feel miserable with spitefull comments then going down the drain because of yours./

    I want to be able to remember all the good times we had. For I've certainly had some of the most wonderful memories of my life with you. But this shit is ruining all that. It's almost come down to the fact that whenever I think of you, all I can think of is the times we argued, fought. And I hate that. Absolutely hate that, since it makes me feel like I've wasted the last half year of my life and I don't want that.I want to remember you as the love of my life you've been to me.

    But maybe it's too late for apologies. I don't know if any of the good memories can come back. You say you don't do anything, yet I hear this stuff from ALOT of people (so they can't all be lying!) that you're saying about me. I hear that you hate me, that you wished you never had a relationship with me, that the sex was bad, that we never had any good moments, that you could never come to me with problems, so you're also lying..

    At this point, maybe I mirror something of what you're saying to other people. At this point, after all that's happened, maybe i'd rather *not* have been in a relationship with you. Yes, i've learned from it. Yes, I've had a wonderful time with you. But afterwards, you do everything you can to destroy all that. And you continue to act innocent, that's the worst part. And at the same time you're talking all this shit about me to people, you're saying that *i'm* the one saying shit about you and lying and stuff while I haven't said *one* bad word about you to anyone, except for the fact that I still lay awake at night crying, as is usual per breaking up with someone you love!

    It seems that you're not allowing me to get over you, yet you're kicking me in any way you can. What the HELL do you want? Just.. just.. Stop all this shit, leave me alone so I can get over you (NO emails, NO talking behind my back, NO painting me black, NO saying everybody how much you hate me and NO MORE playing fucking innocent!), and generally, since it's gone too far to be friends (even if you wanted that), get the *fuck* out of my life!!!

    Even if you hate me, or think our relationship was a mistake, or you enjoy painting me black or in any other way kicking me while i'm down and as such pushing me in a victim's role, still have the fucking courtesy to apologize, make sure that that shit you're saying to everyone does *not* reach my ears and stop contacting me while giving me *no* means to contact you back so I can fucking get over you allright!

    I'm fucking shaking here... Arrgh!

    Basically: I loved you. (Still do, since I haven't gotten over you yet) That basically means that I gave you the power to completely crush me, yet I trusted you NOT to do it. I should never have let myself love you in the first place, since now you can break me more then anyone else ever could. That's my mistake, I shouldn't have let that happen, in retrospect. But the fact that I placed my heart in your hands ENDED the MOMENT we broke up, and you should give me the oppertunity to take it back, instead of crushing it.

    Maybe you're just frustrated or something, I don't know. Maybe you think I shouldn't have let you go so easily... Maybe you're doing the shit it subconciously, not on purpose. Maybe only a small part of the things that reach my ears is shit by you and the rest is by people that try to hurt me since they normally cannot. It wouldn't be above some. That could all be true, but that still does leave a lot, and that still does not 'make everything allright'!!!

    I shouldn't fill in for you. So now I ask you: WHY are you doing the things you're doing?

    You even talk shit about me wherever you can non-irl! On msn (i recieved a few screenshots), on MySpace.. Who knows where else. Saying that you hate me so much, that I lie, that you can't believe you were in a relationship with me.. Atleast you're not painting me black in those areas as you do with me when you talk to people at school.. Saying I live on a garbage belt, that I smell bad, that I'm bad in bed and what else more..

    But still, you need to fucking stop it!! I don't know *what* your problem is, but whatever it is, it does not justify painting me black in front of others! Especially since I haven't sad a bad thing about you to anyone, except calling you a bitch for this stuff... I can't paint you black, for I still love you, since you don't let me have the chance to get over you!

    Maybe I'm overreacting.. Normally I don't give a fuck if people spread lies about me.. It's just that... I've got alot more stuff to deal with. You are one part. School is another. A girl i've known for a few years is yet anóther part. School I'm dealing with, it's shrinking. But that's still too much, thats why I want you to STOP!

    Please. :'( :angry:


    I've probably said a lot of stuff double, and this post is probably confusing as hell as grammar goes, but I wanted to make sure I didn't forget to put anything down here


    I might be able to deal with this all if I just knew the reason Why.


    Why are you refusing to talk it out?

    Why have you send me one-lined emails without giving me the oppertunity to reply?

    Why are you saying shit behind my back?

    Why are you painting me black?

    Why are you posting everywhere how much you hate me and how much you wished you never had met me?

    Why are you trying to hurt me so much?

    Why are you refusing to apologize?

    Why are you refusing to let me get over you?

    Why are you refusing to let me get over you?

    Why are you refusing to let me get *over* *you*?

    It almost seems as if you don't *want* me to get over you, but then I must ask: Why?

    Why can't we just break up like it usually goes after a relationship? They way it's always been, atleast in my relationships? You break up, you get over each other and you stay friends since you know a *lot* about each other, and it either stays or slowly bleeds to death, but you both remember the good things and how much you loved the other?

    Why?



    =============


    New subject. The girl I posted that huge post on a page or so back? (Thanks again Jenn, I needed that hug ^_^) I've decided i've waited long enough for an answer (about 4 full days), so I sent an sms with "well. atleast that's clear."
    and NOW she suddenly sends an sms back with 'I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention to not reply, I might have time this thursday".. I feel like I'm back in the washing machine again.

    Everytime I basically say to her: Fuck off, she basically says: Pleeease come to me.. And everytime I basically say to her: Pleeease come to me.. She basically says: Fuck off.

    It's draining my energy. :( [/b][/quote]
    I'm not going to be mad, I feel sad, but I'm happy I fanally hear the things you hear from people. I know it's better to keep this out of the lpa but since you wrote yours I have to write mines.

    Why can't you never believe me? At school I talk to no one, the only thing people know is that we broke up and that we broke up together. I don't know who is telling you all the lies, I asked you but you wouldn'd tell me. I never said anything bad about you at school. I told my frustrations to my sister and a friend. My Space is personal, I have to get frustrations go after things you say about me and do to me on the lpa. pease, for once, believe me :( I asked you more than once but I hope you'll believe me now.
    I also want this all to stop. I never wanted anything more than that. Do you know how all this is controlling my life, I nkow it controls your life too, but that's why I asked you to please stop. I didn't knew why you were doing it, I thought you knew those were lies people told you. I'm not lying elco.
    About the emails, I wrote 2 shortly after each other, the first one because i was mad at you for saying or doing something that had hurt me, the second one 'nevermind then' I said, because you rectefied the thing you did to me. (I didn't block you on my email.)
    I haven't called you an asshole directly on the boards. I was mad because you did things to me on the boards, and I had to let it out.
    now, I hope we finally talked it out. please, send me a mail if you're bothered with something and don't bring it to the boards.
    And please, when you hear more things from people who said i told that, please don't believe it. I don't want you to get mad again and hurted and hurt me again and don't know why you're doing it.

    I hope all things are normal now. I would be so glad if it's over you you too.
     
  14. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    0mega: Sounds very familiar. But if I know from experience, just a little change could throw the old routine completely out of the window.. :)

    ======

    Unbelievable. She just keeps on going, even after my huge post! This morning I recieved anóther one-lined email, wich stated that she believes that I'm walking after her and she insists that I leave LPA. What thell? :wth: I vowed that I won't let myself be painted black by her any longer, and I certainly won't let myself be bullied away from here!!

    I really can't understand her. What does she think I should do? I know (and talk to) quite a few people from LPA nowadays. Some regularly send me links to certain threads, or links to certain posts. What am I supposed to say? "Sorry, I can't view that thread or see your post because one of my ex-girlfriends is on that board, you'd better type it all here and please, begin at the beginning"? Or should I just IM everyone and say: "Sorry, I can't talk with you anymore, because one of my ex-girlfriends is on the same board you are"? That's absolutely rediculous!!!!

    I've sent a reply back stating that it HAS gone too far now, and she should stop it all, *including* sending those one-lined emails wich invites responses that she'll never read anyway! I'm so sick of it.
     
  15. Leones

    Leones Super Member LPA Super Member

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    please! do it via email!

    I wrote that yesterday or that day before

    we just taked it out

    don't start again!!! :'( :'( "


    I wrote that because i was mad, I was frustrated, I was crying, I was shaking. I didn't knew why the hell you were doing those things to me



    PLEASE PLEASE
    PLEASE
    PLEASE

    STOPPPPP :':)':)':)'(
     
  16. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    Why should I care that you'd be mad or not? I just want you gone out of my life!

    I want you to stop being so fucking childish! It's not for nothing that I haven't been in this situation with *any* of my ex-girlfriends, I'm hard pressed to believe that I was able to break up in a mature way in those cases, but I suddenly cannot do it anymore now? If I have done *anything* to deserve this! If I did (maybe subconciously?), you would have posted/said that long ago. You didn't. So it does seem to come from you *exclusively*.

    Why do you think I don't believe you when you say you're not talking bad about me? You've completely played away any credability you had!

    - You lied to me in our relationship (saying you love me one day, and saying you're completely over me the next, one of those must be a lie since they cannot both be true),
    - You're painting me black in front of others (I even have fucking *proof*, anything that I hear *might* not have come from you, but screenshots I recieved of msn is enough proof coupled with the fact that you've blocked me without giving me any notice, plus i've seen your myspace site with my own eyes. Maybe it's just as well I don't know that much more sites you're on, since you seem to post shit about me everywhere you go),
    - You apparently enjoy playing games with me (since you suddenly began replying to posts I made, making me think that you're ready to stop this shit and maybe even offer an apology, but then you were out of your so-called 'lol-mood', and I'm being back to being ignored and painted black again),
    - Nothing 'normal' seems to work with you. You've refused to talk to me in any way, and from the moment that I said to you that I still love you and I haven't gotten over you even though you already were, you seemed to *increase* these 'attacks', wich makes anything I might say or not say moot.

    Allright, let's go over the points you make in your post:

    1) You said you never directly called me an asshole, but you needed to let it out. Well, you *did* call me an asshole, but it was indeed apparent that that was frustration. But then again, it was the same with me calling you a bitch. You *insisted* on an apology for that, so I gave it, as common courtesy. Yet you *refused* (even now you do) to give an apology for what *you* said. I expect the same fucking courtesy from you that you expect from me.

    2) You say you need to let your frustrations out. Yet, the one time I did that on this boards in this topic quite a few pages back, you reacted very, very angry. But that the same time, you're outing your 'frustrations' (I don't know if "he's a liar, I hate him, I wished I never knew him" can be called simple frustrations since I never said any of that) everywhere, here, on myspace, in school. And yet, you expect me *not* to be angry? You're pushing hurtful comments under my nose everywhere I go, just to make sure I'll see them and they'll hurt me! Myspace isn't personal, myspace is public. LPA isn't personal, LPA is public. I had frustrations about you too, but I DON'T go posting them around everywhere where there's a fair (or good) chance you might see 'em and be hurted by them! Yet, you continued doing just that.

    3) The emails you wrote. You say it was because I wrote something that hurt you. Yet, the emails were undecipherable and any reply with questions became unanswered. What do you expect me to do, send you emails whenever you write something that hurts me? Hell no, first of all you know I hate email, if you expect me to respond you should unblock me on MSN or give me the oppertunity to talk to you at school. Second of all, if I wrote you a mail on every comment you wrote that hurt me, you're entire fucking mailbox would be full! And third, I just wasn't willing to let myself be dragged away by these games you're playing, since you've posted so much hurtful comments that the *can't* be a coincidence or simple frustrations.

    4) You say the people in school lie. I find that hard to believe. One might lie, two, but all of 'em? Even those who pass your comments about 'he lies, he's an asshole, i hate him' back to me? I find that very hard to believe. It's a small school, and anything said about the other *will* be heard by the other. You should be smart enough to realize that. It's not for nothing that I refused to talk about my frustrations with you in school, you should do the same.

    5) You seem to be measuring with 2 different metric systems with *everything*. I may not say any comments about you, for they might hurt you, yet you do exactly that! I may not let my frustrations out anywhere where you might hear or see them, for they might hurt you, yet you do exactly that! You expect apologies from me, yet you refuse to let me expect the same! Even after my large post, you *still* sent me a one-lined email trying to bully me away from these boards, regardless from the people I've come to know here. What would you say if I tried the same with you? "Leones, get the hell away from LPA because I don't want to see you." Exactly, you'd think 'what the hell? the arrogance!' and that's *exactly* what I'm thinking.

    6) You say that I must not believe the people in school who say that you're painting me black, that you're purposely trying to hurt me by spreading lies and playing games with me and such. Yet, you're exhibiting the *exact* behaviour they're describing, albeit in a bit smaller form, here on LPA and on MySpace and on your MSN.

    You say you haven't blocked me on your email, but any emails I have sent concerning the weird mails you sent became unanswered. Ignoring mails and not responding to the questions therein is THE SAME as blocking.

    No, we haven't talked it out. We've never talked it out since the moment we broke up, and we haven't talked it out now. I don't know what you think 'talking it out' means, but it's not describing both your frustrations and let it be done with, and that's exactly what we're doing now.

    I want your apology for the 'asshole' comment.

    I want you to stop ignoring me in real life, yet at the same time painting me black in public places, like LPA, MySpace and at school.

    I want you to make sure that, if you really need to let out your frustrations about me, that you say them to people that will not tell me so it *won't* reach my ears (Common courtesy, I'm doing the same), so those comments won't hurt me.

    I want you to start expecting the same thing from yourself that you're expecting from me. No double measuring. No saying 'it's all good now', yet continue what you've been doing.

    I want you to stop hurting me wherever you can.

    I want you to stop destroying any good memories I had with you.

    And, I want to hear it in person. So I can evaluate for myself that you're sincere, for once, and I can take my leave of you.

    You want me to stop getting mad and stop hurting you. That only happens if the above happens. Because when you keep hurting me, and keep measuring with 2 different measures (and as such attacking my sense of fairness and honor), I get very sad. Because of that, I get very mad and I'll hurt you back in order to balance it out and retain my sanity. That is something I can't help and something I don't want myself, for understandable reasons. I want you to *not* be a part of my life Any Longer!



    And all that, because I want you *out* of *my* life. I want my heart to be back in *my* hands, and I cannot do that with you actively trying to hurt me every step of the way.

    Usually, I'm generally over a loved one (atleast able to stuff the feelings away enough) after a week or two. This has been going on for *over* a month. That does say quite something.



    PS: You're saying that I should send a mail if I'm bothered with something. No, that doesn't do. I hate mail, and if I'm bothered with something, I want to see if your reaction is sincere. Especially since the only thing I'm bothered with is this whole game you're playing, and any reaction you might give here or anywhere else only has so much meaning, since you've played away your credebility. Besides, you haven't responded to my emails before, why should I think it's any different now? So, no emails.

    I want things to be normal, but the only way they will be is when you extend the same courtesies to me and I've extended to you until recently, and we can finally talk it out in person.
     
  17. DiSiLLUSiON

    DiSiLLUSiON Ambient

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    Pardon me? We haven't talked *anything* out!

    See my post.

    I can only stop getting mad about this shit WHEN WE'VE TALKED IT OUT (in person ofcourse). Because, if we don't, I have NO insurance WHATSOEVER that you won't just keep going on with this shit!

    You said it before 'everything's allright now, right?' yet you begun all this SHIT right after that!

    I could say, allright, let's not say a word about this anymore. But what you've been doing will just keep on going and I can't... I can't take that :'( :'( it hurts too much.

    You say I should stop, then you stop! And let me see you're sincere, so I *know* you'll stop. I won't take the chance of getting hurt again, because I CAN'T TAKE THAT. :'( :angry:
     
  18. Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    You sound like Me but 3 years ago,things'll get better though,just keep positive and don't let it get you down :)
     
  19. User Name

    User Name Angry Marines. Always angry, all the time. >:C LPA Super Member

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    Umm, not to break the uhh, bonding time that's happening, but I have a peace treaty to be signed whenever you two are ready.
     
  20. Danielle

    Danielle Well-Known Member

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    To DiSiLLUSiON + Leones: You both seem like mature adults and nice people on here but in the last few posts you seem to be acting like kids. I know I can't understand even a little bit of what either of you are going through but I do think that you are hurting both yourselves and eachother by having these arguments here. I mean okay- tell eachother how you feel but it has to be better for you to do it somewhere private.

    :hugz: to both of you! I hope you both get everything sorted out.
     
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