Got Something You Want To Let Out?

Been there, done that...

Except it was about the manager at work, and I almost got written up

 

... I can never understand your species.

Joe // LMAO.

 

I lit my cat on fire and kicked it out of the window and congratulated myself on my aim by jacking off....






Haha jk jk that'd be really wrong... Probably lying to my parents so much about school and stuff. I do it and I feel bad... and then I do it again and feel bad... Good thing it'll be over come May...

 

I missed school today!
My eye was really swollen so I went to the doctor, it was so ugly...so awesome!

Confesssion: It wasn't that bad, I made it much worse and acted like I ccouldn't see just to skip school...it really hurts, but I'm better know, I have to take medicine :argh:
At least I skipped school

People just can't get the fact that I'm Atheist, they'd be like : "OMG! You don't belive in God Almighty? You freak! What, do you believe in the devil now? "
.................................AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
They used to be such good "friends", even my arch enemy went: "Oh, I heard you're Atheist *laughs her ass off*."


fuck them




Bright side, at least I know who my real friends are

 

No offense but thats the most fucked up thing I've heard in a long time

 

No offense but thats the most fucked up thing I've heard in a long time [/b][/quote]
haha, thanks , I think....

 

Why the hell did you set your cat on fire and kick it out the window,thats just cruel and harsh!

 

SoniX :

he was just joking

 

I wish people would shut up about the fucking Eagles

 

SoniX :

he was just joking [/b][/quote]
Oh yeah,I just noticed that bit

 

^


--

:angry: :angry:


*calm down leonie, calm down*

 

i have arguments with my self......... :whistle:

 

There's this girl.

I've known her since i was 13 (now 20).

She's been in my class at high school.. Fallen in love with her, lost her out of sight.

Year or 2 later, she comes back in my life.. Never approached her, but a few of my friends know her also and talk about her from time to time. Feelings return. Lost her out of sight again.

A few years later, I see her email on the internet and out of curiousity, send her a mail. She responds, a few emails further we meet. And date. Multiple times. We kiss, i've had dinner at her place etc. But this guy told me stuff about her (most lies, but I didn't know that), and I got suspicious. She was already acting only half-interested, and it only got worse because of that, so she became even less interested. She had pain because of me, and I had pain because of her. We broke off contact.

Half year later, I discovered she's at the same school I'm at. We see each other from time to time, talk a little bit.. I empty my MSN block list and she immediately started talking to me.. Some time later, I send her an sms (for she admitted not feeling so well that evening or something like that).. but I forgot to put my name under it. Yet she knew it was from me.. So she still had my number in her phone..

Now we've been talking on the phone a few times, about the times in the past and about the future.. I admitted I wanted a future with her as friends.. She admitted that on the one hand she'd like that, but on the other hand she wasn't jumping at the chance.. I said I understand..

As time flies by, she became more and more insisting, verbally.. I said to her: I understand if you don't want it, just say so. She: No no no no I *really* want to do some nice stuff with you (get a drink, go shopping and such)!.. But her actions say differently. When I call her (one time a week or so) she doesn't answer.. When I send an sms (twice now) she doesn't answer or call back.. But when she's on msn (once a week), she immediately asks when we're gonna do something together..

I understand it's probably that she doesn't want to face the emotions she still has (cuz she puts everything deep down instead of working through 'em, just like me).. but I can't force her.. I can't leave it either, because this shit is absolutely killing me.

I called her a week or so ago, and she insisted on doing something together this week.. Send her an sms thursday with the times I'm available and the question if she is, and haven't gotten an answer..

The only thing I could do in ordinary circumstances, was to say: Well, it's like this: I've got then and then and then time, and you either want it, and make some time for me (for she certainly has time), or you don't and we aren't gonna build a bond. Choose.

But the thing is, it's not a real choice now.. Because she'll probably choose for letting me go. No problem, I'll let her go aswell.. But I *know* that she'll be back in my life *again*! And all my feelings will be back again also!

And every single time she's back, I'm being eaten up by my feelings of caring for her. I can't push em away, I can't beat em to death.. They're here, they've always been here and they'll probably always be here.

Wich is why I can't let her go just to have her come back again, but I can't completely exclude her either, due to my feelings. I just can't.

But I can't handle this either, I just can't.

I think I need to show her that I'm not the suspicious ass she associates her feeligns with, just as I know she's not the cold b**** I associate my feelings with.. We just got off on the wrong(est) foot. But how can I show her?

I can't pull on her too much, cuz she'll back away immediately for sure, that's just how she is. But I can't do nothing either, since that means that this situation is just gonna last forever. And I can't push her away either, if not for my own feelings, for she'll be back anyway!

I feel like I've been in a washing machine for the last 7 years

I need a hug.

 

*Gets you out from the washing machine*


:hugz:

 

Take deep breaths, in and out release all your anger and stress

Why are you so angry? :hugz:

 

he is leaving on Friday! :'(

i cant deal w/ this!

he is gonna be gone for a whole month, then he will come back for a lil while to get his stuff then he will move back forever!

i want him to stay sooooo bad!

i cry whenever i think about it. :'(

i need to stop being so emotional and stupid.
im sry

 

Take deep breaths, in and out release all your anger and stress

Why are you so angry? :hugz: [/b][/quote]
thank you :hugz:


I'm angry at someone.

 

I need to change myself. A bunch of my friends have insisted that I can be two different people sometimes... at public places I tend to be that loud and obnoxious guy that everyone avoids, but on AIM, Xanga, or with a few trusted friends I turn into a totally different person. Understanding, caring, etc. I need to rule that loud guy out of my life forever.

 

*Gets you out from the washing machine*


:hugz: [/b][/quote]
:hugz: thank you