Got Something You Want To Let Out?

Take a chance. How else will you ever get by in life? You can't just sit and wait for "time to heal you", because it doesn't work like that. Problems only get worse with time. If you just don't take the chance, then you'll never know if this could work out for you.

And about your parents, just tell them. They might not like it, but they'll support and still love you, trust me.

 

I've taken chances before...they always cause more pain then pleasure. Thats the hedonist in me
Thanks Casey, I shall see what happens.
About my parentals... I still dont know, maybe I should start dropping hints about her
Thanks though...

 

I just need to vent about my roommates. If you don't want to read a heavy amount of swear words I suggest you don't read my post.

Mike. Fuck you! You are so gawddam annoying. Stay the fuck out of my room. All you do is criticize and complain. Oh, you hate everything I like? Keep it to your-fucking-self. I don't disrespect you or your interests. And please do not make things more awkward around me. I don't want to hear that you sit down when you pee. Why the fuck did you tell me that? Now everytime I go to the bathroom I see the freshly cleaned toilet and think of you fucking sitting down on it. I cannot use that toilet now. And the other day you pee'd in the gawddam shower all over everything or something. It smelled like piss. I had to fucking clean the damn thing because it stunk up the whole room. And the whole looking at yourself in the mirror every 30 seconds has to stop. You have a mirror in your room. Stay in there and look at yourself because I'm sick of seeing it in my vision while I'm on the computer. It's disgusting. And when you do make one of you 6,000 visits a day to it, don't turn and fucking look at me! No I'm not watching you look at yourself or ever will and you make it a million times more awkward by looking at me. I see it everytime and I know you don't think I do, but I do and it's creeping me out and pissing me off. Oh, and I haven't been too busy to eat with you. I just choose not to. Maybe you'll figure it out soon that I don't want to eat with you ever. Your friend made fun of me and you laughed a couple weeks ago when we ate. (I could go into detail on that but it's a very touchy subject on the LPA.) It was a complete disrespect to me. That was the most offended I've felt in a very long time and you didn't even realize it. And take your 2 hour long phone calls outside of the room. They are extremely awkward for the rest of us who live in here. I can't wait until the year is over because I won't ever have to see you again.

Will. Stop fucking copying me in everything I do/like. It's really annoying. It's like in the last 2 years you've tried to be my exact clone or something. My favorite music, clothing, shoes, movies, games, every kind of electronic, everything that has to with text or images on a computer, phrases of speech, food and drinks, and health products all "coincidentally" happen to be the same now. It's so fucking obvious and you are completely ignorant to it. How can you wake up everyday and put on the fake image that you are. You don't even realize that you are doing it. You think whatever I like is the cool thing so you do it. You think you are cool for your new found interests. Fuck you! You are a fake ass person. Be yourself. Not me. Not anyone else. Just you. You are so obsessed with labels. Not the substance or meaning behind them. You just buy, buy, buy without thinking or caring. I'm sick of it. You also happen to be the biggest hypocrite in the world. You say one thing, then the next thing I know, you've changed your mind. You are trying to do everything like everyone else. BE YOURSELF! It's so annoying. And don't fucking follow me around at the concerts we happen to be at. You think I'm going to the best spot in the world or something. You don't know 99% of the words but they happen to be one of your favorite bands? That doesn't make sense because they speak English and so do you. You obviously don't listen to the words or the actual music. You hear it, but you don't listen. Once again, you worship the label. You fake ass motherfucker. Be yourself. I'll vent about your ugly girlfriend another time. I have to go do homework.

 

grr...I don't even know what I did...I only gave back a tiny tiny bit of what he dished out. *sigh*

I guess...there isn't much I can do?

 

holiday...what did i TELL you?! if he can't respect you as a person he is never going to respect you as anything else. grr. get rid of him. who knows, maybe if you show him that you're tired of his bullshit then he'll realize that he can't treat you like that. and if not then he was never worth it.

ether...don't worry about your parents, they will come to accept you eventually or risk you not being in their lives later on. that's what my parents did, they didn't accept me, kicked me out, tried to make me drop out of school so i couldn't graduate, etc. etc. and now they are talking to me for some insane reason. they got over it. or rather him. it just took time. be your own person, don't let your parents control you.

derek...it sounds like briana is saying all that shit to get a rise out of you...don't let her. she's not worth it. i don't know what all went on between you guys, but if she can't at least stop being a bitch for two seconds to stop whoring you then you shouldn't be talking to her if it only makes you feel worse. and what the hell does a gay person look like anyway.

oh, update on my life: riche realized his mistake and said that he's surprised i'm talking to him at all for what he did. i said if we didn't live together i would have dropped him just like i did michael, but since this is the second time i've dealt with this and i'm not smoking weed just to forget the pain, i got over it quicker. so we're going back out. again. i said this is his last chance, i am not going to let her get between us.

michael said he's not really mad but he knew it would happen even though everyone warned me that riche's gonna hurt me again cuz i always go back to people. i won't be surprised if he does, but i would rather risk another breakup for another month of complete happiness. i feel wrong for what i did to michael though. he all opened up to me and all that shit and i called him today and told him that i was going out with riche again. he just wants me to be happy, and he knows i am with riche, but i feel really bad for him. for once.

 

Aw, honey, I know how you feel. I've felt that way for a while.

 

I just need to see her at least tomarrow. I can't live like this without her. i need her to speak to. to be there.

 

OMFG! Why cant i stop thinking about her. What about Jessi? Its not fair to her that Mich is always in the fucking back of my head! Somebody fucking shoot me. Why is she so fucking scared...I dont fucking understand.

 

Damn...I'm so done with them. I adore my Teresa...but I can't deal with the Justin thing. He says that because he and her have had sex, he can't give me any attention at all. I can't deal with that. Teresa doesn't even fucking care. HE's the one getting fucking attached!

I mean...i suppose I was the one who got attached in the first fucking place, but god fucking damn it....It's fucked up...I WAS FIRST!!!!! Fucking Christ! argh!

Ok...no sex, no attention...no nothing. Teresa loves me, I know that...but I don't agree with a lot of her choices. I just ...I dunno. I should just go find a friend with benefits until I'm ready to settle down for a while. I'm about there...actually...he just needs to get rid of his gf first! lol!

I'm just so done with this....

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......you know, I have sex as a way to get back at people. I don't even know if I like it as much as I think I do...I have it as a way to get over my depression...(it doesn't work very well btw)...I don't even understand...I hate it. I shouldn't be like this! What is there I can do?! I feel like I'm fucking stuck! ...I don't even know these people anymore. i wish I had someone to just hold me...someone that isn't Tersa. I love her, but she is NOT what I need right now.
Fuck...I HATE being depressed.
I need a hug.

 

I'm sorry I don't have anything better to say.

 

Thank you, sweetie. I appriciate it.


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GRR! I can't sleep here! All I can think about is that they've had sex everywhere in this fucking apartment!


I shouldn't even fucking bother me!!! WTF?!?! Argh!!!
I just wish I could fucking leave. ...I really fucking wish I could leave.

 

Maybe, someday, teresa will get over him, or justin will come to his scences.

 

aw, thank you.

The thing is, Teresa isn't even attached to him. I dont even fucking understand. I felt better knowing that they used condoms...but they don't. They had unprotected sex right in front of me. *sigh*



You know...I've decided that I have sex as a way to get back at people or as an outlet for my depression...I'm too depressed..and the sick thing is, when I'm depressed, I don't put up a fight and guys can do whatever. I've been taken advantage of much too much in my life...much too much.
Sex isn't even fun...it's just like...something. It's really hard to explain....but it's like self destructive. Even if I want to stop, it's too much becuase I'm in my depressed mode and people can do w/e to me. I hate this...I really really really hate this. I think I need to get out of here.

and now, the only guy I get along with here has a gf and we're in a weird situation; Teresa just doesn't fucking understand; Alissa...I should spend more time with her. We're so similar.

God damn it...the more I think, the more I want to get fucked up. 3nights in a row of alcohol...I even smoked on Saturday and I probably will next saturday too....I feel so damn distructive! argh!

 

I'm not going to lie. I'm jealous of all the success they've been having. I wish my band would've taken off like theirs did. It's really been bothering me lately how my band fell apart after only a couple practices. We clicked, too. We wrote a song in one day after having no experience doing so, and we performed it like it was nothing. I'm pretty upset about that. But that's life.

 

i pick my nose and wipe them on my brother for revenge on how annoying he is

 

That is really fucking gross. Thanks for sharing.

 

well this is the GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST forum so i did..and thats all i had to get off my chest

 

and it was JUST MY OPINION about it.

 

holiday: i used to feel the same way about the sex thing. i used to have sex with other people (basically michael's friends, because i knew it would get back to him somehow) to get back at him for doing that shit to me. and it always hurt him. but i never felt better about it. eventually i got desensitized to anything sexual because of how i used the action to get back at people. but it is funny now, for the first time in my life i am actually getting turned on whenever riche does whatever he does and he doesn't get it, but like you said, guys always did whatever they did to me, and they were having sex to have sex. it wasn't about US, it was about THEM. it shouldn't be like that and i got tired of being used. and eventually i said fuck it, i will only have sex with people that i love and that i know love me back because sex should be more than just sex. as in making love. hence the reason why me and riche haven't had sex yet, hence the reason me and michael didn't have sex the other night. the opportunity is there, but i know it will make me feel worse.

so far it's working. i haven't had sex in like 2 months, the last time was with michael, and the one time with chris but i don't remember it so i don't count it (i was extremely intoxicated) and i'm fine about it. i realize that i don't need to have sex now. when i'm ready for it, it will happen.