Got Something You Want To Let Out?

I love her and all, but seriousely, she needs to know when to drop stuff like it was burning hot magma. or least a hot potato. She just cant drop it and that really worries me.

 

Damn....I can't stop thinking. I'm so freaking jaded. I don't even know how it happened.

 

What the fuck is wrong with me!?

 

there's nothing scarier than getting what you want, because that's when you have something to lose.

 

why do you get so upset with me when i don't talk to you when we see each other at random times or when we're with huge groups of people? i'm usually with someone else when we see each other randomly and you are, too. and when we're with huge groups of people, we're usually doing two different things. but when i try to set something up for us to hang out or i call you you ignore me. why? that doesn't make any sense at all. you agree to hanging out with me but then you never say when. when i call you, you don't even answer your phone. why? stop playing your fucking games.

 

my boyfriend (or should i say ex-boyfriend) broke up with me, because when he was gone for the weekend, i went to my ex-boy's house and hung out. the day after he was dumped. ex-boy tried to do stuff but i wouldn't let him. cuz i love my now ex. =( i didn't do anything wrong, so why do i feel so bad??? shoud have never gone over. =(

 

I'm pretty sure you led me on for the better part of a month. I'm glad I'm done trying to win you over. I'd still like to be your friend, because you know how to have fun. But anything farther than that will only break my heart, and everyone's told me that.

 

So, Valentine's Day is coming up.......................
























ah, screw it. who cares....

 

will your love keep burning?

 

riche broke up with me for his ex girlfriend, even though he promised he wouldn't. (she moved to another state and came back, and i knew this was going to happen.) then he went out with her for about 5 minutes and realized that he didn't feel the same way about her that he used to. he cried to me this morning about how he shouldn't have broken up with me. (oh yeah, we still live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, work the same hours at the same place, blah blah blah.)

it gets worse. i was devastated, this all went down at work, and i called michael. he might be a total asshole, but he knows me better than anyone on the planet. first time i talked to him in forever. he was upset because he saw how happy i was with riche and all that shit. friday night HE cried to me about how he wished he never broke up with me.

where does that leave me...i love riche, i don't love michael. riche doesn't love me but michael does. they are both sorry, but i told them both that i can't deal with getting hurt again. friday was the first time in a long time that i wanted to die. riche wants to be friends and let it get to be something bigger, since he thinks we moved too fast last time. michael wants to be with me whenever, doesn't matter when. i can't be with michael. i think it's a mistake already that i am talking to him at all, but i didn't have a choice and it's riche's fault or i never would have talked to him. (they know each other, riche used to be michael's boss, we saw him on wednesday night and i wouldn't even look at him, but HE accused ME of having feelings for him when HE was the one that ran back to HIS ex.) michael wants me to be happy. i want to be happy.

if it came down to it, i would choose riche over michael. and they both know that.

 

Or maybe you need to take a hit from a joint or something. It's like no one can say anything to you without you feeling they've hurt you, or some such thing.

Just roll with the punches. Not everyone is out to hurt you.

 

You're friends with her right now aren't you?

 

I think you need to learn to take people at face-value, and not let mistakes/things in the past blind you.

People change.

 

Derek:
Honestly, you should just tell you that she is hurting you if that is true. Some people say things and don't know that they are hurting you. Plus, if the pictures really did look gay (I've never even seen them, so I have no clue) then wouldn't a good friend tell you so you got rid of them, not keep them on there and embarass yourself. But, if she is really hurting you, just tell her and say if you want her opinion you will ask for it.

Don't be with someone just to make them happy. That will never turn out well. Why not get back together with Riche. If you love him, why risk letting him get away. You can get over another break-up. Can you get over the thought of losing the person you love forever?

 

Ill be just fine, pretending Im not. Coz she's all that I've got.
I want to be with her all the time. But Mother keeps giving me shit about my sexuality. I want to tell the parentals that there is someone special (who happens to be the same sex) but how can I when already they look down on me??
Then there is the commitment issue. Childhood happenings have turned me into this person I dont want to be. Im afraid to get close to someone out of fear that there will be a reoccurence of my childhood. I dont want to be abused anymore, I dont want to hurt anymore! But I dont want to hurt her either. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Grin and bear it for her sake??