Got Something You Want To Let Out?

But this whole thing makes me want to just hide even further back in my shell.

 

I'm not going to run out and just find another guy because the one I like doesn't feel the same way. That's fucking stupid.

And I know you didn't mean it that way, but you made it sound like I should do it to spite him. Not that it matters seeing as I won't do it anyway. (a) Because my bounce-back rate isn't that fast and (b) I-I just don't wanna do it. [/Nate]

 

Sometimes just having fun with random guys (or girls in my case) is better than crying over the one you want, but can't have.

 

Maybe for you, Casey. But I don't work that way, unfortunately.

 

So you rather just sit at home and think about what could have been?

I think like that sometimes, but eventually I get up and go do something to forget about it. You shouldn't live life that way. You can change the way you are. Having fun with guys wouldn't make you a slut or anything either.

But if you're happy just mauling over what could have been, that's cool I guess. But it's no way to live life.

 

Just because I don't want to go out with another guy right now doesn't mean I'm 'mauling over what could have been'.

You're forgetting. I've never been in a relationship...ever. The whole idea is completely foreign to me.

 

I'm not talking about dating someone else, I'm talking about just going and hanging out.

 

I'm starting to feel really insignificant again. Lately it's seemed like no one's payed much attention to me, and when they do, it's usually negative (In my eyes, at least). So today, I got thrown out of the band. The guys (Or rather, the drummer convincing the rest to) decided they need to change their style. That totally eliminated the necessity of my guitar playing, and then on top of that, the lead singer, who used to play guitar and sing, wanted to play guitar again. What makes me mad the most is that they kicked me out mostly because "my skills are better suited for a metal band". If I can play fucking thrash metal, I think I can play their fucking hard rock or blues, whichever of the two they switched to.

I've also had my mom nagging on me for being in my room the majority of the time, and then my dad getting "upset" with me getting mad about it. It's been raining all fucking day, my friends are all out, and they still expect me to find something to do.

Finally, I've got the cherry on top: My ex has a Myspace. Didn't seem like a big deal-until I realized she had had it up when we were together. Back then, she'd told me she didn't, and I'm guessing she used it to talk to her present boyfriend (Who is in that band, and I'm suspecting is another reason I got the boot).

Ugh. I need to get away from here.

 

Why is my name in there?

 

So I've got a date Saturday. It's my first date. Ever. I'm really excited.

 

Congrats, Will!

I'm dating somebody new. He's just as geeky as I am, and I couldn't be happier about it. The only problem is my former fuck buddy, who isn't happy with his girlfriend and looking my way again. I'll be at school and in close proximity with the FFB, and the BF will be an hour away.

Let's hope my self-control holds.

 

GiriosXeni: Yeah, I do that too. I think it's fine. I mean, nurses tell people who have had miscarriages, that the way to get over it is to "talk" to their "baby," and it works too. I don't know if you will disagree with me here but, whatever works for you, go for it.

 

Girios Xeni-

Don't worry. I'm 13 as well, and I tend to do the same, all the time. I can be sitting in the car, and my mind will drift off to another situation, which never really happened, and probably never will. I don't usually talk out loud, though.

I don't see it as wrong, I just see it as escaping for a while. It makes me happy, and I'm not often truly happy. I'm sick of pretending and when I'm dreaming, I'm away from that.

 

Three words:

Eating Twelve Donuts.

 

Matt - with the whole band thing, forget about em, move on, if your better than them its their loss, go and do something better than they could ever do. also, you can never do the right thing to please your parents, and yeh, just do what you want, not what they want.

GiriosXeni - if it makes you feel better and forget about all the shit go for it, i mean who cares, some people sit in silence, others loud music etc, you just need to have a conversation thatll go the way you want i spose, so no theres nothing wrong with it

 

giriosxeni~i think the reason why you feel better is because it is your subconcious talking. and if talking makes you feel better, then that is good. because if you are talking to yourself, then you won't end up leaving things out. like imagine you are talking to a real person and you have things you don't want to say because you don't want them to know. if you are talking to yourself, then you would say it because you already know, and not keep it locked up inside yourself. kind of like a verbal diary. which is better because then no one can find it. i don't think you're crazy.

i got asked out last night.
i have a few problems with this. he lives with me, and that complicates things. i am scared i am going to get hurt. and i never EVER thought in a million years that he would do it. i mean, i like him and all, and i wanted to go out with him, but now that i have it i am scared. i halfway want to just give up on him rather than go through another relationship that i know is going to end up the same way my last one did.

 

I kind of do that. Not out loud, but I play through conversations in my head a lot.

No risk, no gain. No loss either though so it's your call.

 

Girios-Take it from a fellow 13-year-old:You're going to be in this awkward, depressed state for a while. I did a while ago, and still do sometimes. I really do the same thing, but not exactly. I like to just go play my guitar like I'm in front of a stadium of people, doing my little whisper screams and whatnot, and it makes me feel less tense. The point is, if it makes you feel better, go right on ahead. It's a hell of a lot better than cutting. There's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine.