Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Think about this when you procrastinate. (SERIOUS TALK)

"Really...This is what I'm really doing...And I'm satisfied with where I am now when I could be doing better? What the fuck am I gonna do about it? Is this Seriously how I want things to be, of my life to look back on?"

In a comforting term, Suck it up and man up. Even if you fail, At least you can say "Least I tried". I mean, do you really have so many more important things to do other than what you need to do?

Annnd...

QUIT BEING FUCKING EMO /sarcasm.

If you weren't alive, A word of advice, You wouldn't know if you ever came to be in life. You wouldnt be better off not alive, because no one would know what it would truly be like without you ever existing.

I have procrastination issues too =\. I tend to not want to do things when I need to. I always say "I'll get on it in a few minutes" which means in a few hours or last minute. >< It's the lack of desire to do anything that troubles me. (suuucks too! Ughhh!)

In short: It matters, one way or another. Absurdly, it will matter sometime.

Here's a tip. If you want to help others, you must first help yourself!

 

“Procrastination is like Masturbation; In the end you're just screwing yourself.”

 

Hahaha, for some reason I was expecting that to say "Some is good, but not too much" or something to that effect... *leaves quietly*

 

That is seriously LOL-worthy.

 

I know this is a serious thread but I figured that quote really summed everything up.

 

Now this girl has got it down! Lol

 

Much sense you make, indeed.

LOL but so true..

 

I hate religion.

 

"I love you."

So difficult to tell him straight up though.

I honestly wish he would come spend time with me tomorrow like we initially wanted to. Due to some other things, our plans fell short. So, if he actually bothers to make the trip regardless...I think that would be more than enough proof that he has the same feelings for me too. As for me, I really miss him and want to see him again badly.

 

No phone call, no nothing...I'm happy and content.

I've decided that after the shit and the drama that Shannon created from Saturday's and Monday's events that I am going to worship the artform of celibacy once my kid is born. I have a 5% of a miscarriage now as I am officially in my second trimester, which my sister grimly reminds me of. I know she means well that YES NO ONE IN MY FAMILY WANTS ME TO MISCARRIAGE AND ALL THEY HOPE THE BEST OF ME BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE REMINDED THAT I CAN STILL BE PART OF THAT SMALL PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN WHO MISCARRIAGE IN THEIR SECOND TRIMESTER THANK YOU REBECCA!

I hate people who judge people on appearance as well. Some idiotic person up at the shops today called me fat because I don't fit into my Linkin Park tee shirt and I was doing the best to hide my bump that was barely sticking out with my jacket. I'm not one of those women that walks around with their pregnant belly sticking out for the whole world to see, uncovered or anything. I also hate it when people are told that I am pregnant and they came up to me and rub my belly. Stop it. I will break your arms.

 

I keep getting mysterious bruises on my legs, I have NO idea where they come from. I eat veggies, fruits and all that but still...and it's not like I bump into things all the time. It's ugly.

 

Exactly. Desperate, inferior. Not good for in a relationship.


Marj: It's probably from the other night.

Moniku: So basically he just isn't being straight on whether he has feelings for you or not? I wrote something on the page before this, to Harlz, might help to read it. Good luck, hon. You can PM me if you want.

 

Marj, I have the same thing. It's kind of weird. Bruises appear everywhere. My back, my legs, my arms, sometimes even my neck. Scratches, too, but those are a lot less frequent. And I know I don't bump into that many things.

Not good for anything, really, Arlene.

Sarah. Nothing to say, really. You seem to be doing well.

 

Obviously Russia and France have ghosts.

 

*aliens

 

Tonight will most likely be the last time I ever see my father.

 

How come?

 

Ready for a long story?

My parents have been married for 27 years. Last June, for whatever reason, my mom decided to cheat on my dad with a low-life tow truck driver who has a rap sheet half a mile long (breaking and entering, theft, assault, domestic violence...). When my dad found out about it, he understandably flipped the fuck out, started throwing things, yelling, etc...my little brother got scared, jumped out the window, ran to his friend's house, and called the police. Despite the fact that my dad never laid a finger on my mom at any point, they decided to lie and say he did, and hauled his ass off to jail and charged him with domestic violence. They even had the nerve to tell him that my mom "was begging them to take him away." I was standing next to her while she was talking to them, and she was actually begging them NOT to take him away.

So he spends the night in jail, we bail him out, they go to court, and the judge issues a restraining order against him, he's not allowed to see anybody in the house. He goes and stays at a campground a few miles away for a couple weeks. Goes back to court later in the summer and gets the restraining order lifted, moves back in with us, but because of all the work he missed during this ordeal, he gets laid off from work when their next round of cuts comes along (he'd been working for a home construction business that had been struggling during the recession). This is the reason my family is in such crappy financial shape right now (my mom also recently lost her job). Things calm down for a while, but over the next several months, my mother repeatedly goes back to the guy she cheated on him with, and the cycle kept repeating itself. My dad ultimately got the domestic violence charge reduced to disorderly conduct and decided to plead guilty, pay the fine, and move on. Unfortunately, he couldn't afford the $700 fee to get the initial domestic violence charge expunged from his record.

Fast forward to this summer. My mother has been acting increasingly unstable and going off on my dad with more regularity, and starting to get violent. She threw a hair dryer at him and broke one of his ribs a few weeks ago, routinely hits him, scratches him, etc. Finally, the other day, my dad decided to defend himself, and hit her back. The police showed up, and sure enough, hauled him off on another domestic violence charge. Apparently it doesn't matter who hits who first, if a woman's involved, the man is always at fault. Due to the fact that he has an existing domestic violence charge (the one he couldn't afford to get expunged), he's looking at a mandatory 30-day jail sentence, up to 5 years if they decide to take it up to a felony charge. But wait, there's more! My dad has been a habitual marijuana smoker for his entire life, and the pot in his system showed up on his toxicology report, which automatically raises it up to a felony, and he's now looking at 10 years in federal prison.

He currently has another restraining order against him (although it's only against my mom this time instead of the whole family), and is leaving tonight to move in with my cousin. He doesn't have much of a defense, according to his lawyer. My dad is 50 years old and in poor health - he had a heart attack when they took him to jail the other night and had to check himself out of the emergency room just so he could go to court the next day. He's most likely going to get 10 years, and in his condition, I seriously doubt he'll live that long in prison.

Moral of this story: Women can and will destroy your life for no good reason and should not be trusted, and the crooked cops that run rampant in this country will always side with them. Only in America can a good man who has worked his ass off for his family his entire life go to jail for 10 years for an act of self-defense.

 

I kinda try, but without putting any pressure on, you know? She always kind of pulls away.

Anyway, last night we actually did kiss, first time in basically a month, and it was, mutual, I guess. And then we were talking and stuff, and she was teasing me about something, and I'm pretending to be all cut up, and she goes "Ah you know I love you." That's the word we haven't used the entire time we've been dating. It used to come up all the time when we were 'just friends', but now she's said it? I know it was just a kinda reactionary comment, but still... Heck, I wonder...

 

*hugs* But not all women can't be trusted.