Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

OMGooood I had the best night.

 

I hate to sound like a whinger, but right now, I'm scared of him. And I know I should suck money out of him but I really don't want to deal with him in any way. I rather find a guy who's willing to take me and my child on as a pair than someone who's going to throw it back in my face. Because without him physically hurting me, sadly, he still has his rights and someday he'll turn around and claim them. By putting Father Unknown on birth certificate, he has to prove that he's the father by paying for a paternity test and I've never denied him as a father, well, to his face at least, but he doesn't believe me which goes onto another subject.

I may want to add he's a jealous little fuck as well. He 'caught me with another guy' the other day and I got told that today, despite the fact that guy was my best friend Kasey, who's a female..

I've been told by my mother that it's better to cut him out of my life (which I have done so as of today officially) and it's not worth having stuff thrown back in my face (clear example, he offered to pay for my birth certificate, so he did that and I offered to pay him back, he refused. Turned around and said to me yesterday that he wanted his money back....) To me right now, he's doesn't deserve the social status of a father. He's just a donor. But I'm moving out of this dump of a town soon and moving back to Sydney.

 

As far as just paying child support, he wouldn't be in your life. I know that in New York, money is automatically deducted from each pay check and paid electronically to the deserving party. It's nothing he could hold over your head either (especially if you don't speak to him) and a court order is a court order. He can whine about it all he wants, it won't make a difference.

 

Yeah, Sarah, I'm gunna have to say that I agree with Robert, Todd, Derek and Amanda. I can completely understand that you're afraid of him and what he might do to you and the baby physically if he shoves you or something, but if you do move away like you want to, then you'll have distance. Plus, didn't you say that you have a restraining order against him? Anyway, as Todd said, putting father unknown on the birth cert could really give you some legal issues down the line. As far as child support goes, it wouldn't be like he'd be coming to your house every week to give you some money...it would be an automatic transaction, like Amanda said, and he could bitch and moan all he wants but it won't make a difference.
I know I just basically restated what everyone else said, I just didn't want to say anything at first, ha.
You really should try to reconsider things, Sarah. I know it's hard to keep in contact with him, because he sounds like a real jerk, but getting just that little bit of extra money from him would benefit both you and your child.


Marj: Oh really? Do tell, ma petite.

 

Man, I'm sorry to hear about all this, hon. Can't you do something regarding the company you rented the truck from? You would think they would have to check tires every so often or something...that's ridiculous. You guys were extremely lucky that you didn't get into a serious accident, and if you had it would have been purely the company's fault for not maintaining the vehicles that they rent out.
As for your grandmother, I wish the best for her. Let's just hope that it's a shadow. <3

 

Ohhh, okay. Get your relative to pay for stuff since he lent you a car with shitty tires.

 

I've come to realize that I have a procrastination problem. There are things that I know I should do or that I want to do but I lack the determination to actually do them even though I know I should. It's like I know I'd be better off to just do it but then there's this mental road block that makes me not want to even try. These things would have the potential to raise my standards of living somewhat but still I idle. I think I've become paralyzed from the fear of failure. It really bothers me that while there are others who have much bigger problems than I do and that they face them and that I myself am afraid to even attempt to do anything about it.

Recently I was house sitting for my sister because for some reason she's afraid some one will take things from her house, anyway she's in the process of moving and while I am there, there is nothing to do but to watch a TV, read, think and sleep. I've been thinking too much I think because I keep getting this idea into my head that I'd be better off if I weren't alive. That I in fact don't want to be alive and find myself wishing I weren't. That alone is a scary thought, but then I find myself thinking of ways to actually fulfill that desire, or un-desire. What's more scary than that still, is that this procrastination business. I find it quite sad that even doing the one thing that will make everything else irrelevant is trapped inside the web of things I procrastinate on. In the end, I find myself wondering if it really matters. It scares me.

And then my mind wanders back again to all the people who actually have real problems and someway I want to help the people who have them when I can't even help myself. I'm quite pathetic I think.

 

Rest in peace, Harry Patch and John Hughes.

 

Yeah I guess you guys are right in the long run....

I know if he wants visitation rights we'll have to go through court because right now we can't agree on anything at the moment and first all, he must legally have proof that he is the father by paying for a paternity test. Which I'm more than happy for him to do at any time. I guess I won't have to see him as well.

He's officially left me alone for good now...no harrassing voicemails, no harrassing phone calls, no harrassing text messages, saying I can go to hell dumb slut etc etc. I told him I was moving back to Sydney and if he dared to track me down before the baby's born, I would call the cops and consider him trespassing on private property.

I hate sticky situations.

p.s. I dropped the restraining order because I didn't want to see him in court.

 

I wish she'd just kiss me... I'd stop worrying then, but... I don't understand.

 

Why don't you just kiss her?

 

I don't think that's a good idea...if SHE'S avoiding you, Harlz, you shouldn't put yourself out there like that, I don't think. You need to wait for her to come to you, to show that she cares. Even if you do go in to kiss her, you might feel temporarily better but then you'll think about it, and she didn't kiss you, you kissed her.

It's up to you. But I know that whenever for instance, Josh doesn't call me for a while and I try calling him but he doesn't answer, I give up, and I wait for him to come to me, so it doesn't seem like I'm always inferior to him, crawling back to him. Does that make sense?

 

TRUFAX. Hey, Jesse, at least you're not alone in being so fail. It is quite possible that I fail at life completely. Via procrastination, no less. I feel quite lame about it.

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Arlene. I do the same thing with friends, actually. I used to be the one who was constantly calling and asking, "What did I do wrong?" and in some cases, yeah, if they're good friends then that's okay, but most of the time I regretted it afterwards, because I came off rather desperate.

 

Yeah I know. I'm not going to get invovled in any of that. Thanks

I'm sure you don't fail at life at all so there's no reason to feel lame.
Procrastination is a bitch though.

 

Ugh. Such a bitch. Not even a son of a bitch, but a damn bastard bitch. Of exponential proportions!

 

I concur and amplify my agreement seven score and ten.