Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

FUCK.

 

I'm actually convinced there's some malevolant force out there that wants my band to fail. Just as things start kicking into gear our drummer has to leave. For fuck sake.

 

What now? E-mail, right now, honey.

 

Next time someone does this to me I'll go postal.

 

So, what the fuck is happening to my country?

 

As a parent, my number one job is to protect my children. and the thought of anyone hurting them frightens me more then anything else.

Hearing again on the news that some sick fuck took the life of a child and then just dumped her body in a suitcase in an irrigation pond sickens me. It makes my heart ache that anyone can be so sick, so twisted as to commit such horrible acts against an innocent little kid.

What is the matter with the world that such things are common place?

 

Yours? Have you looked at ours? I want out! Anyone in the UK looking for a roommate? haha

 

so yesterday i decided to move on
there is no point in trying to patch things up
so today i try to get my life back in order

 

Well yes my country, Pakistan.

The upper part is already under militant rule with those fucking bastards flogging women because they go to their father's shops without their husbands. Because Girl Schools are turned to dust in those fucking regions, because guess fucking what? Girls don't need to be educated 'cause they are just baby producing machines anyways. Who cares about women?

 

Aisha: That sounds terrible! Gotta admit though, things are a lot liberal here, even though we are neighboring countries.

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Ok so I finally lost it and tried to clock my elder brother in the face. He has been practically torturing my parents with his whining, bitching and endless list of demands! My parents went through hell to raise him and without them he would have been nothing! And yet he does not display a single bit of gratitude towards them. So I've decided that the next time he starts misbehaving with mom and dad I will fucking pound his face to the ground, because unlike him I give my parents the respect they deserve!

 

Well one of my best friends is going with the school on a trip to france tomorrow. And she says she's going to ditch the group and live life as a nomad. And she's not joking.

 

I thought last week was hell, but I just noticed it was only a warm up.

 

What happened?

 

Thanks.

Maxime is completely confused about basically everything in life, he told me he feels pressured by everyone. I wish I could help him out but he doesn't even know what to do himself. I asked him if he still liked what we have and he said he wasn't sure, that he needs to put everything in order in his head.

I think he just needs some time, but I'm right here, hanging in the middle, completely stressed and unsure what's going to happen next. I can't eat, I have the hardest time sleeping and I'm doing a bad job at work. I just never ever thought this would come, it's a slap in the face.

 

Oh wow.

He's going through some major crisis then. Can you get him to open up? I guess he needs his space, and you should give that to him, but he also needs to know that you will be there for him if he needs you.

You're a smart, amazing girl. You guys will pull through <3.

 

Hugs Marj. Ditto what Aisha said.

 

We talked, long. He told me he feels like he's us and not just him, that he doesn't feel like he has space anymore to be himself. So I'm just letting him do his own thing I guess. It sucks though, he's not so cuddly...

Thanks babe, you too Jen.

 

You're welcome Marj <3

 

Marj: I'm so sorry to hear that. That must have really hurt to hear. I'm always here if you need to talk.

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Ugh, I hate when Josh goes away. Don't get me wrong, as jealous as I am that he's at the beach for a week, it's good that he got to get away for a little while, because he needed a little vacation. It just sucks because a) I don't know any of the friends he went with...they were kids he grew up/went to high school with, so I've never met them, and b) he's far away. He's about 14 hours away and I asked him to just at least send me a text when he got there, so that I could know that he's safe. That's all I asked for, a text. He grumbled and said I was like his mother, but he agreed. He should have gotten there last night, and I still haven't heard from him. Nothing. That really bothers me. I mean, maybe he was tired last night which can explain why he didn't contact me yesterday, but he had all day today and still nothing. Maybe he's just having too much fun, but he should have thought about me and remembered that, oh yeah, he was supposed to let me know that he was safe. That just kinda hurts that apparently he isn't even thinking of me at all. Plus, my sub-conscience makes me feel even worse, because I had a few dreams that were just disturbing and him cheating on me and stuff, so of course I think that he made up some story to go away with someone, which I know is ridiculous, but my mind is thinking it when I'm sleeping! And him not calling me or anything just really effing hurts.

I'm so happy that you're thinking about me. You was on my mind all goddamn day today.

Plus, I tried to call him tonight, and it just rang and went to voicemail. Yay.

Ranting feels good. Now only if he called me right....now. Damn.