Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Amazing idea. I'm gonna wear orange pants, purple top and a yellow hat

 

You'll look like an ice cream cone! Kind of...

 

Yaaaay Josh stayed over last night. And is still here.

 

So I have to perform Across the Universe tomorrow in concert.



I haven't had ONE PRACTICE WITH MY DRUMMER NOR MY GUITARIST!


>.<

 

Ha. I don't feel good at all... I can't stop crying... and I don't know why.

 

Shit, baby what's wrong?

 

I really don't know... I feel shit.

 

aww its a crime to cry on your birthday

 

Aww.

baby need a cheer up?

Take a breath and know that someone out there is looking after you, or wanting to see you

Terrible things don't stay terrible forever, you know so cheer up and look at the sun.

 

Everyone I know is either drinking, fucking, partying, fucking, getting engaged, fucking, getting married, fucking, having kids, fucking, fucking fucking, fucking, fucking....fucking.

And what I am doing? Nothing.

Not that the above is my ideal lifestyle...but still. I hate being alone with nothing but my thoughts. I want to have fun and have a good time. I need a job so I can *hopefully* bond with people my age. I feel like I'm not living life.

 

Let's hang out. I'll buy you an ice cream cone.

 

Cmon, these people will realize in the end that they are being completely stupid.
Getting knocked up is not "experiencing life".

You don't need to follow the crowd to have a good experience, right?

 

Will is funny.

So, yeah, Josh ended up staying over for two nights, which was awesomeeee. Besides the fact that the second night was due to the fact that he started throwing up and we were not going to let him drive home an hour while he was feeling that way. At least I got to mother him.
Also, I was with him the other day when he was checking his bank account on line, and I always think that when he says "I have NO money" that he's exaggerating. Well, he's not. He thought he had $200-some, which he intended to go towards his $285 car insurance, but that money was automatically paid towards some other thing. So basically, he was looking at his accounts, which, both had $0.00 in them, and then looked at his car thing, saw that he had $285 due on Tuesday (we were looking at this on Sunday) and he was just like..."I'm screwed" and he just looked so vulnerable and...old. I felt so awful for him. I considered offering to loan him the money, because I have plenty, I was just thinking more what my father would say. Then we were at my grammas house for dinner, because we eat there all the time, and he was talking to my gramma and my mom about what was going on and my gramma INSISTED that he let her loan him $300 so that he could get his payment in on time so that he wouldn't be driving around without insurance. Josh isn't one to accept charities...but he did, very unwillingly. I just think that that is so sweet of my gramma to do that...if my family didn't think that Josh was in this relationship for the long run, she wouldn't have lent him that money. That makes me feel good.

And I also think that it clears it up even more for Josh that my family really DOES love him.

And I had a dream that we got married on a beach in Cape Cod, haha.

 

wihtout going into details
does anyone think its a good idea to talk to an ex that treated you like shit
if you want full details and stuff just message me
if not tell me what you think plz

 

I've never been so scared that my band might break up. There just seems to be a divide between everyone nowadays. I feel like I'm the only one who's willing to graft and work and come up with some ideas for songs whereas one of our guitarists doesn't even practice in between sessions.

I had to actually call him at half past midnight last friday and talk him out of quitting the band after he texted me saying he wanted out. I know things are frustrating at the moment with us not having a vocalist and only one out of 8 ideas for songs is actually near completion but at the end of the day what's the point of doing fuck all until we get a vocalist?

I'm afraid that even when we get one this negativity might have drained the spirit out of the band and I'd be truly devestated if we called it quits. I love being in this band...we've made some awesome music in the year we've been together. The good times we've had have vastly overshadowed the bad times and I think this band has a great future together. There's gonna be some great times ahead...but only if we can get through this.

 

Yike. *Hug*


I hope everything works out for the better.

 

WOW, you took the words right out of my mouth!

 

I really dont feel anything for school right now. I've got all these things I have to do which are completely useless. Maybe everything just falls together right now that I feel really bad. I actually cried for almost 30 minutes because I felt so bad. I was really tired, my friends acted stupid, I miss my other friends, my mom's going to leave the house in 2 months if my dad doesnt stop drinking. Just those things combined really fucked my head.

Now the main problem is my school/internship. I'm having a great time with my internship (with the little kids I showed in PYP) and they say I'm really good with the children, but I'm a guy that learns while working and doesnt want to do all those useless assignments and other extra stuff that wont be neccessary in the future. I really want to pull though and get my paper in this, but sometimes I just want to quit and work. Maybe it's just a 'winter depression' I'm going through and that it will all be over soon.

 

Things are getting much better now.

Hopefully it stays that way.