Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

I'm pretty sure my band is done.

My bassist had an existential crisis last night and basically quit the band. He didn't even really have a valid reason, either.

He's one of the best bassists I've ever heard, including professionals, but he doesn't think he's good enough. That's fine, he can use that to push himself.

But instead, he claims he'll never be as good as he wants to be, so he should just give up.

It's kind of lame. But because of that, I think my band is done.

And on another, somewhat-related note, I'm not drinking alcohol anymore. I'm done with it. Forever.

 

Thanks for the support guys, it means alot.

@Will: Don't even think about your band splitting up. The band I'm in has nearly split up several times over really trivial things but now things are really looking up for us. Just try your best to keep things together.

 

I'm really bad at being clear with what I'm trying to say.

I meant I think the band has already broken up. But I'm not sure, and I don't want to bring it up. It's weird to explain, I guess.

As for you, just keep your chin up, man.

 

So I think my grandma on my mothers side is dying. I'm not really sure how I feel about it though.
I feel bad for not being sure.

 

Luke: I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you. You don't deserve that. Noone deserves that. I mean, in a way, I think it's lucky that she denied you because it seems that she will easily be with any guy, and you wouldn't want to be in a relationship where you're the only one who really cares about it. I know that's really not what you want to hear right now, but eventually you'll be able to see that.

As for Zak, I think you have every damn right to be pissed the fuck off at him. He betrayed you. Friends don't do that. Especially since he KNEW how much this situation was tearing you apart, that just really shows where his head is at. He's not using his head, or his heart, or caring about anything. He's ignoring the fact that he KNEW that what he was doing would kill you, for his own selfish needs. If I were you, I wouldn't have apologized to him. He should have come to you. Although I do understand that you just wanted to make things right and that you felt bad. I've done the same thing. But I never felt right about the situation because the person never went out of their way to apologize to me, ya know? They apologized because I did. At least he did apologize though. But in this situation, I really don't think a simple apology cuts it. He completely betrayed you and your friendship, and he owes you more. I don't know what, but I really think he owes you more. Saying he's sorry doesn't erase the fact that he stabbed you in the back. Although, time does heal things. In this situation, give it time. Things will get easier. Once you don't feel anything for her anymore, then maybe it won't seem like such a huge deal, although it kind of is.

You are a great guy, and someday you will find the perfect girl who can love as much as you can. You obviously have a great heart, which is reflected in your actions on how you wanted her to be happy, and just how much it really broke your heart. You have the potential to make the right girl the happiest girl ever. Just try to keep your chin up hun, things will feel better eventually. I'm always around if you need someone.

 

Thanks alot. It's really nice to know that you guys care.

It was very weird coming home and seeing all my stepdad's things gone though. What utter cowardice on the part of both him and my Mum that they had to wait until I left in order to proceed with their stupid hypocritical break up.

 

After about a year and a half, I am finally going to dedicate myself to the Goddess and the God tonight. I've held the beliefs for a while, and I feel that now, after finding myself and maturing, and sitting in the middle of the mountains, is the right time.

 

So now it's a possibility my Dad might have had an aneurysm.

I had to pry it out of my Mom because my Dad kept saying "You have to tell her, you have to tell her". She wouldn't tell me at first, but I told her I would be PISSED if she was keeping something from me.

*sigh*

He's in the hospital another night of course. They will take the test tomorrow to determine this.

 

They aren't always as bad as they sound... I have one, but it's stopped growing so it's not dangerous now.

Hopefully your Dads will be the same, or even nothing. They're really hard to distinguish.

 

Anya: I'm so sorry. Hopefully everything will turn out all right. <3
---


I miss him. A lot.

 

So I just cussed out my father. Damn that felt good.

 

I really, really hope he'll be okay. Kisses and hugs for you and your family. <3


Luke, I'm really sorry to hear you had such a bad time...but I do agree with Arlene, she obviously jumps from one guy to another, and you don't deserve that.

 

I slept with a girl last night. Nothing happened, we just kissed and slept together. It was really nice, cuddling, holding hands and you know the rest. Well, some do (burn). So we made out and slept together.

She's still doing stuff with her ex, and her ex lives on the same floor. They broke up 2 months ago.

So next morning, I'm brushing my teeth and *knock knock*, her ex on the door. She opens, he comes in, sees me, says hey, I say hey, he asks something about a shirt, and then leaves. She's a bit shocked and nervous and she says "Well, if you take the train in about 20 minutes, then I can go to my ex and explain what you're doing here."

What the? You guys broke up, he should move on, you should move on and just tell him that we made out, that I slept with you, and that I have no girlfriend. But no, she says to him "We didnt made out, he slept on the couch and he has a girlfriend." That really pisses me off, because I had a great time that night and then it ends like that. Maybe I'm just thinking too much and that some of you have different opinions about it, but I don't like that at all

 

The thing is though is that it's not like she sleeps around or anything like that. She's just got emotional problems. She's been cheated on by at least 3 guys in her life (and those are only the ones I know of) and she's had difficulties with other relationships aswell. Any way you look at it though I can find no justification whatsoever for her actions. In the space of one week she got with two guys knowing that I liked her. One of which happened on my birthday, the other with my best friend.

I don't know what to think at the moment though. I'm pissed off over the fact that of all people, she should know what it's like to want someone only for them to practically tell you to piss off. The fact is that if it's true what she says and she liked Zak since the Linkin Park concert back in January then surely she could emphasise with what I'm going through because I've liked her for a year.

I keep on thinking what the fuck possessed Zak to do that though. I keep on thinking about everything he said on the trip to try and help me out with what I was going through...hell, I bought him a £50 projekt revolution ticket for his birthday when we went with a few friends and we had such a great time. We've always been there for each other and I've always considered him one of my closest friends...I just can't believe it. I'll be okay though. I got past it back in October, I guess I'll get over it now.

 

You saying that makes me feel a little better.

I just want him to be okay though.. cause even though it might not be dangerous, it just scares me a little of course.

Thanks everyone. No news again. There should be some more tonight. I hope he won't have to stay the night there again.

 

I agree with you. I don't think you're over-analyzing it. So, all that happened is that you guys made out and slept next to each other, right? I mean, that's not like a big thing like having sex, but it's still a big deal. Sleeping next to someone the whole night, it means a lot, and for me it takes a lot of trust and commitment. I don't understand why she would lie to him about it, unless they didn't really break up, or are just a friends with benefits thing. He'd probably get jealous, hence the lying, but I don't understand why she would be messing around with people but still coming back to her ex to tell him that no, she isn't with anyone else.

It seems to me that maybe he wants to be in a relationship with her, and maybe she wants to be with him too, but maybe they don't work out together as an official relationship. Or maybe she doesn't want to be with him, but she wants to still mess around with him as well and she doesn't want to lose her chance of easy sex with him.

I don't know, I could be over-analyzing things, but it is definitely weird. I wouldn't keep doing things with her, but that's your choice. As always, if you ever need to talk to someone, vent or whatever, I'm always around.

 

Yeah, they're just friends with benefits. They had an relationship for 1,5 years and he broke up for a reason which she said "its a long story, with an bullshit ending" so thats pretty clear She doesn't want to hurt him, thats for sure but at some point you just gotta let it go. I'm hoping she will, I'm going back in a couple weeks so we'll see Thanks for your reply, its the only one who kinda makes sense and shows that you thought about it

 

No problem. I try to give insight on different situations to maybe help people out, even if it is just to help them maybe think about it differently. Let me know how it goes next time, I'm curious to see how things turn out.

 

Sure thing, she says that it will go a little better when I'm there so we'll see Thanks again.