Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

What dont you get about me not wanting to talk to you? To be completely fucking honest, what you did to me was completely wrong and out of left field. The fact that you refused to even work on anything says a lot about who you are and I really dont feel like associating myself with you any longer. You say you want to be friends with me but I dont want to be friends with someone who fucking goes behind my back and talks to other people about how bad of a person I am when all I try and do is keep you happy. Its goddamn ridiculous to think that I ever actually felt anything for you and at this point, I couldnt care less if you got hit by a car. You make me fucking sick and I hope you have a great life fucking one of MY friends. Fuck both of you.

 

Had the same thing happen to me some time ago and it really creeped me out. I really have no solution for it, but somehow it stopped happening. I hope it stops soon love.


@Penny, I am sorry to hear that.

 

This is quite a late response but yes, I have definately experienced this. Almost every night I did, I hate it and it usually happened when I was having a nightmare. You try to wake yourself up and you succed but it's like you're weighted down by some invisible force, you can SEE and you can HEAR but you can not move. Often it causes hallucinations. And it's very scary. It's an very awful thing to go through and I don't know any methods to stop it, but I'd reccomend trying to not be so stressed out. I don't know if that's it but I've seemed to grow out of it, it doesn't happen very often anymore, and well I don't have nightmares hardly anymore either. And again it's awful. I'm sorry that you experience it, or that anyone else does and.. well all I can really suggest is to try to not be stressed out cause I'm not actually sure what causes it.

And other than that..
The other day, someone tried to exorcise me.
Yes, to Call god and make him "Take The Demons Out of Me"
For listening to slipknot and telling them to back the hell off,
And.. did I mention,
It was my very own hardcore extremist, Crazy insane never missing a day of church fucked up sister?
And it happened in a public library no less.

Seriously. Come on. :angry:

 

Eh, yeah, bad idea on my part. *shrug*

It was a snap decision from something in the past on here. Ah well.

Anyway, I thought weed for stress was a given?

 

theres always a need to re-encourage.


----


I feel like I'm doing something wrong with my Girlfriend, Like... am I doing something wrong? I don't feel good or smart enough to be with her. The best thing is to talk to her about it, and i will.

Maybe I'm just not as confident as I was when I met her.

 

I can't do anything for you, and that worries me only a fraction more than worrying about if the cops find him before you do.

 

one of my best friends is originally from zimbabwe. recently there was a death in his family there and he's going back. the more i think about it the more worried i am... he never mentioned anything at all about the circumstances of the death, so for all i know... gah. whatever it was he might still end up stuck there, among other things.

 

Aw man. Hopefully he'll be okay. And all the best to his family.

 

Someone just called me 'hardcore'. Too bad the comment pertained to me being afraid of destroying myself, and yet-.

 

It's funny...I go to Ireland tomorrow evening and I've been gearing myself up for one whole year to tell her how I feel. I've replayed what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it like hundreds of times and it's just dawned on me...I don't have a fucking clue.

 

Aww haha, don't worry! Just tell her how you feel from your heart, and don't feel silly or ashamed. I'm sure you'll do just fine! For how long will you see her? Even if it's just for a day or so, imagine all the things you can tell her in a whole day! So you know, you got lots of time, no?

 

Thanks for the reassurance.

I don't really know what's gonna happen. I don't get to see her nearly as much as I'd like to (in fact the last time I saw her was at the LP concert on January 28th...) so it's gonna be weird seeing her every day for a week. I've heard that she's seeing someone but I don't really care all that much about that. I'm telling her either way. I gotta just let her know...it's not worth me bottling it up for however much longer.

Thing is that I've actually had myself in hysterics when I've thought about what I'm gonna say. Every time I think about it it's like I'm looking down on myself telling her and sometimes the words just seem so damn corny and stupid, but there are other times when I can just see myself getting pretty emotional about it because I think she truly is amazing and it kills me to know that it can't happen. I'm not gonna be a drama queen about it...I just need to let her know.

I think I'll finally get some peace of mind when I know that she's aware of it and I don't have to be afraid of her reaction anymore. I can't see her reacting badly to it (but then again I've like banned myself from even thinking of a bad reaction), all I want to do is get it out to her. I think people have taken for granted how special she actually is. In this day and age it's not easy to find someone that you have so much in common with and who has the most amazing personality you could think of.

Time will tell...

 

You should tell her that, it's very sweet.

I don't think you should be afraid of sounding too corny, sometimes cliché moments aren't bad you know. Just throw out what you want to throw out and don't worry about anything. Good luck and have fun! <3

 

Thanks alot Marj.

 

Yesss! I kicked ass on my final scores this year for school!

My overall quarter average is a 98.338.

My New York State regents exam scores were:
1) History: 91
2) Bio: 86 (not great, but not my best subject)
3) French: 97

And my math final was an 89 (also not great, which confuses me 'cause im good at math but I dunno.)

And my individual classes were all over a 92 for the 4th quarter average! Yesss!


Also happy...I talked to Josh tonight and he was just in a good mood, sleepy, at home and relaxing. He was falling asleep and he just wanted me to talk, and to keep talking to put him asleep because the last thing he wanted to hear was my voice before sleeping. I put him to sleep, I could hear him breathing and whatnot and it just made me feel extra fuzzy inside.

I'm in a good mood. And I have work tomorrow, which I'm excited about. And I'm seeing him all day Monday. All to me. Just us. I'm so freaking happy right now.

 

God dammit... sitting on that bus with her for an hour and a half, helping her sort out her problems with him, hearing how she feels, and how amazing he is and so on...
I've never had to try so hard to pretend I was happy, that I didn't wanna break down and cry.
I spent the last half hour looking out the window, away from her, so she couldn't see the tears in my eyes.

Guess I'm lucky it was night.

 

That sounds awesome love I'm hapy things are sorting out for you

It must really kill you, but don't force yourself to pretend. If you have a bunch of feelings, let them out. It will be much better.

Go for it

 

I hate my life and everything about it.

 

honestly, will, i'd love to be you, and i'm sure quite a few other people wouldn't mind either. i'm not trying to put down what you're saying or anything like that, i mean that as a compliment.

i'm sorry about the coheed thread if that was because of this.