Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

i can't stand living with these 2, My god

*kills himself* lol

 

Derek, that's awesome news. I'm relieved for you.


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So after a year and a half of being inseparable best friends (and being confused as a couple almost every time we went out in public), we had our first fight. Fuck it, it's her fault.

 

Aw Daniel! Everything okay?

Derek: That's such great news. It's good to hear positive things like that.

--

So, I'm going with Josh and his family to their camp at Lake Ontario tonight/this weekend. Me and my mom think that it could be helpful to see the truth in Josh. I'm going to be four hours away though, and my dad is afraid that if I see the "Bill Clinton behind his eyes" that I'll have no escape plan, but I can always feign sickness and I'm willing to do it if it helps me figure things out. I really feel that this will help things out. Plus he's so serious and excited about me going and whatnot so I hope it works out. And I'm glad that I'm seeing him, because yesterday I basically had a breakdown. Throwing and punching shit, music blasting, angry. It was bad. I've never gotten like that before. But we'll see what happens...

 

I'm pretty pissed off/disappointed, but hey, I'm a big boy. I'll deal with it. That's good to hear about camp though. Either way it goes, I think you're going to get some answers, which is good.

 

So I guess a few months back, my moms fiancee was at a strip club and saw my father there. Whatever, ahaha, funny funny, whatevs, right?

Now he won't shut the fuck up about it, and I'm getting sick and tired of it. My mom's fiancee has really crude humor, and it's like, there are jokes I make, and some of them I don't want to discuss with my 44 year old future stepdad. He doesn't know when to stop making the jokes.

So, we were at my aunt's house today for 4th of july, and my stepbrother, Tyler, is the best man in my mom's wedding. So he joked with my stepdad "Oh I'm only gonna be able to go to half of the bacherlor party", and my stepdad goes "Maybe I'll invite Bo".

Bo is my father's nickname.

Like, dude, shut the fuck up already. I don't want to fucking hear it. There are certain things I don't want to fucking hear. So like, god fucking forbid I snapped at him when he kept going "go do your chores your mom is gonna yell." I got the first time cheif I don't need to hear it 8 times in a minute. So as I finish telling Jay that I'll brb, and I shut the Mac, my mom yells at ME FOR SNAPPING BACK.

dude. for once in your fucking life, can you fucking admit that it can be the fault of whoever the fuck you're dating , and not me all the time. I know I shouldn't have snapped, but just stop fucking joking around for once and leave me the fuck alone.

Fuck.

 

George Carlin was right.

There's nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine.

The people are fucked.


He said it best; we think our 200 or so year old industrial activity is going to put in jeopardy a 4 million+ year old planet? That's suffered solar flares, ice ages, impacts from space debris, all that, and we think our fucking exhaust, and PLASTIC BAGS are going to fuck it up? No. We're going to go away, and the Earth is going to stay the way it is. It's fine, despite our presence. When we're gone, it'll stay for a damn long time. Just because some big muckity muck with a bank account with more zeros on the end of it than a damn binary program says we're fucking our planet up... DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE!


People pushed this issue onto me too much today, and it took a comedian to put it into perspective for me. Ironic, no?

 

And why are humans so self-important, G.Carlin was right, We are so self-important. Why else would we be worried? Because Human lives are in danger, or other animals. Even if we put dangerous radioactive waste into the land, We're fucked, The planet will be fine, eventually, it'll decay and be part of the core, or something in the lava. We'll never notice about radiation posiening when your all burnt away from lava!

Plastic bags are biodegradable, eventually, it's reincorporated back into nature, somehow, someway. It won't be in our life times for many many many generations to come, but eventually that bags going to into the core, and it's going to melt, and be spewed out into rock or ashes, which helps plant growth, and maybe a tree, then after a few million years, it'll be crushed, and turned into oil, in about a billion years from now.

Ironic yes =)

 

And the only reason why Humans are in existence is to make plastic for Earth.

 

Plastic is good, you know? Just as sillicone is great for breasts It makes alot of things very convinent and hassle-free. Trees? save those, and stop cutting, USE PETROLEUM BASED plastic bags!


Now Who's willing to save trees, or oil..


Mang, George Carlin was great.

 

I'm so worried about Leonie. She had her operation and it took much longer than they expected because both pins grew together with the bones so they had to saw and all. Now her right knee looks all weird and they might have to go back today. Her medications against the pain cause nausea and against the nausea she has another medicine. She took that one for the first time yesterday, but after an hour or so everything cramped, her fingers and toes were curled in all ways, her neck was bend a weird way, her jaws were stuck together, her tongue was stuck in the back of her mouth, her eyeballs were pointed at the ceiling and she couldn't even blink, and she was crying because it was hurting lots. So my parents phoned the doctor and he came immediately and gave her valium which helped.

I hate to be here right now, I want to be there for her, I love her alot.

 

Oh dear <3




I hope she gets well soon. Really really.

 

:hugs:

Wish her the best for me. No one deserves to go through that.

 

I don't get it. He was never the jerk that he is now. And I really don't know what to do.

 

Thanks Aisha and Will, I hope she'll be fine as well.

 

I'll be here...crossing fingers.

 

This weekend was great. I truly believe Josh. And he's trying. He's been calling me, and texting me often and stuff just to let me know what's going on. He was crying on my moms shoulder, real crying, I could tell. Saying that he had thought that he lost me. He was sleeping with the stuffed tiger that I got for him as a joke...it would always sit in the back of his car in the window and it was sitting on the seat to go with us and I asked him and he got all embarrassed haha.

So...I think he's for real.

 

:-D I'm all happy for you! I was hoping he'd be for real.


Chris, thanks baby. Leonie's doing much better today, it turns out that after the valium stopped working she got the cramps again, but less than before, my dad still brought her to the doctor though. On the medicine it says not suitable for children, even if she's 21, she is tiny with her 5'0/94 pounds, so they never should've given her that.

 

Glad to hear that she's a bit better. Still crossing fingers and sending best wishes.

 

My dream last night scared me. ALOT.




I am paranoid and insecure.