Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

WOW. It's amazing how much people can change in a year.
There was a girl that I was madly in love with at one point, and she started getting a lot of attention from all sorts of guys. It went right to her head, and she started with this holier-than-thou attitude, and I pretty much told her that if she kept it up, I wasn't going to associate with her anymore. So, yesterday, like an idiot, I tried texting her on a friend's phone. She knew that, and after I told her I couldn't talk anymore, and that I had to give the phone back, she went all crazy on my friend. She hasn't changed at all, and now she won't quit texting how much of a bitch my friend is. I didn't want to pull anyone into my problems, but somehow, I did, and it really sucks that it happened that way.

No matter what I do though, this girl will NOT stop texting. I have no clue how to stop her. I've told her to chill, and that I didn't mean to upset her, and I've apologized SEVERAL times, even though I have nothing really to apologize for.

 

I'm totally, utterly, hopelessly in crush with him. Yay?

Although, to look on the bright side, it's a crush. It makes me feel like a pile of mush, but still, it's like...a pretty good feeling in a way? Doesn't matter that it's not reciprocated, this feeling is pretty...nice.




@Joe: Hun, don't give up...

 

Well, I wish you luck in that whole situation and I hope it all works out for you. You deserve to be happy.

@Joe: I agree completely with what Derek said. Don't get so down on yourself. Finding that special someone isn't easy, you just need patience. I hope you find the happiness you're looking for.

 

Show him teh sexy JD!

 

I one trillion percent agree with what you are saying. Thanks for saying it.

 

Thank you, dear! =D

@Marj: I'll do my best...

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AND, I agree with Derek.

 

You can('t) do anything for anyone.

 

-

My boyfriend has mood swings, a self-destructive personality, and anger problems and I'm just choosing to ignore them.

 

as much as you know my opinion of him dear, this probably IS a good thing. As Tim said, you deserve to be happy, more than anyone else I know, so I definitely hope this works out for you.

 

to Kevin, Marj, Mali, DryIce, Aisha and Arhaz. Thank you guys.

_________________________________ ____________________________________ ___________________

Joe, I've told you this a thousand times and it's more true than you can even imagine.

A girl is/not the end of the world. You make her the end of the world.

My brother shot himself over bullshit lies from girls. ...Blood, death, gone...over fucking lies from girls.

They're overrated. If you can't find one that likes you for all the amazing qualities you have (much more than you just listed) then it's not the right time. You shouldn't measure worth or anything on a lying whore or a nice girl. (unfortunately there are more lying whores than good people out there now a days.)

Girls aren't the end of the world. They killed my brother and I would NEVER want to see anyone else seduced by the idea of suicide!

You don't even know what happens after death! What if it's not rest. What if it's just another big horrible journey that you're miserable in? You don't know, so why rush the inevitable?

 

Holiday speaks teh tr00f.

 

I completely agree. I'm now also afraid to die.

 

! I didn't mean to make you afraid, Luke.

You just never know what's out there, man!

 

This is what Maria sent me last night.


What the FUCK?

 

Derek speaks many words of wisdom. As does Holiday.

Joe, I hope that what everyone is saying can help you. <3

 

I wrote a very angry message to the girl I hold the most responsibility for Colt's death. He name is Jen. I think I mentioned her in my original post about she's the one that (I think lied) About Colt's gf already being engaged after he lost is virginity to her like two days before.


She wrote something about how she's in a good mood and happy with her bf and her job and is doing good...and I was holding my brother in his box crying my eyes out thinking how much I missed him! I am so angry! I hurt so much!

Well..maybe it was a little mean, but I don't give a fuck.

This is what I wrote to her:

I never got a chance to help him...he would not tell me what was going on...and I understand that. at 17 you're really focused on your friends and don't talk to your family much. I did that. 17 is a tough age.

But they got a chance. I heard from many that he had said something about suicide before this ever happened! No one did anything! We went through his messages, his texts....and in person they have told me that they wish they would have known to help him, but then the next time I see them they told me he told them he felt that way before it ever happened! I am like You R******!!!!! How could you not help!?!?!?!

I am just so angry. so upset. I don't know if I should've written that message, but it kinda felt good to get that off my chest. I've been thinking about that for weeks...ever since Jen called and confessed that she could've saved him but she was so stupid she didn't think to try.

People disgust me.

 

Holly, the story of your brother actually makes me feel physically upset because I could not bare to loose a family member like that. I never had a younger sibling but if I ever do, I'm taking your brothers story as a guidline to always watch over them and make sure nothing could possibly make them want to kill themselves.

I cannot express in words how sorry I am for you and your family and I think that message to that girl is 100% justifiable and in my opinion the right thing to do. If she has contributed to the misery your brother must have been feeling then she deserves to know the horrible pain and suffering that she has helped put you and your family through.

It's terrible that someone could actually do that. It's enough to make you lose faith in humanity in general.

I wish you and your family all the best Holly.

 

Well, I decided to finally work up the courage last night to ask a certain girl (that I've been talking to for the last month or so) out on a date. She's real sweet, and pretty smart as well, and I decided that this is someone that I would bend over backwards to have as a girlfriend

And I'll give you one fucking guess as to what answer I got. Yeah. She actually had the nerve to tell me "you're such a sweetheart", and immediately follow it up with "but don't get any ideas about me, i'm talking to four other guys tonight as well, so you should probably just forget about it, bye".

THIS is what i'm fucking talking about. THIS is why I'm always like this. Everyone always runs around and accuses me of not doing anything to fix this. Well I do. I do more than anyone can imagine, and this is what I get for it. It honestly doesn't matter WHO I am, or how I come off, apparently there's four other guys out there who are a lot better than me, and y'know what? I know who at least two of these other guys are - - one's some small-time pot dealer with no real job, and the other one doesn't even HAVE a job, and he's 24, living in mommy's basement. But then again, I guess those guys are far and away better than me, because otherwise I would've stood a motherfucking chance. but once again, wasted time, wasted feelings, and I didn't sleep one fucking minute last night. I look like hell, I feel like hell, I have to go to work in five minutes, and quite honestly, I just can't stand to be 'me' anymore. My personality must be some kind of fucking black hole. Like I said before, I wouldn't lie, or cheat, or do anything to make anyone feel bad if I can help it. I'd do anything on earth for someone I love, I'd make her the center of my universe, I'd go a million miles to be halfway to wherever she is.

But that apparently doesn't fucking matter, because I don't deal dope, I don't drive a Mustang, and I don't dress like the next guy who's on his way to fucking con college.

Fuck this.

@Holly: Christ, THAT's what she did? What a bitch...sounds like pretty much everyone I've come across though. I'll call you soon (whenever I'm not working, or up north). Hang in there

 

Thanks, Luke. I really hope that my brother's death can be a lesson to everyone it touches. It's one of the reasons I'm so open with it.

It makes me physically ill all the time. that's just what suicide does. and it affects generations. My kids will be affected (whenever I choose to create them), my whole family is affected, and I really hope his friends are affected.

But sometimes when your 16 I guess it's hard to actually grasp the realness of what has gone on.

Thank you guys. I felt like it was justifiable, but at the same time I'm the one that's messed up in the head b/c of all the grief. You guys made me feel better about my choice.

sigh, I am losing faith in humanity as well. and anyone that isn't touched by the pain something like this could cause isn't in touch with humanity.

"Human" is a title most homo sapiens [Disclaimer: the modern human species, not in any way related to sexuality] do not deserve.



Joe:
Most girls are whores. They try to get as many guy's attention as they can so they feel better about themselves. They don't even THINK about how it affects the guy. At least she was nice enough not to take you for all your cash. Some girls just go out over and over again with a guy even though they have no interest...I, unfortunately, have done such a thing. I feel bad about it now, but when you're depressed you do things to make yourself feel better, and attention from guys really helps that.

Other girls just think of it as a game.

The older you go with women, the more likely they are to want something more serious. Young ones, in their prime, like to use guys.

Of course this is a generalization. But how can a girl say they don't like the attention when they're asking for it?

Remember most people are whores. And you should NEVER measure your worth to those around you that are less human thanyou. They tend to make you feel bad about yourself when you're the one on the better path because they want you to be like them.

It's pretty simple. People try to bring you down to their level because it makes them feel better about themselves.

Remember: You don't need them. They need you to me upset so they feel better about their lives.