Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Todd, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. #2621
    Klootzak

    Klootzak Well-Known Member

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    Klootzak, Dec 20, 2007



    So... we kissed... yesterday she told me she has found the person she wants to spend her life with and wants nothing else but friendship with me...

    bummer...

    oh well... there's plenty more girls out there.:lol:
     
  2. #2622
    Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Arlene, Dec 20, 2007



    Thank you, everyone! We're going to go meet the Natalie for the first time tonight! ^_^
     
  3. #2623
    Friskey™

    Friskey™ LPA Super Member LPA Addict

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    Friskey™, Dec 20, 2007



    *headdesk* Knew I forgot to do something. :lol:

    Congrats Arlene! :hug:
     
  4. #2624
    Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Arlene, Dec 20, 2007



    :lol: Thanks Kev! :hug:
     
  5. #2625
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Dec 21, 2007



    It's only 5 days till Christmas and I still haven't completed my Christmas shopping.

    I MUST go out tomorrow and finish it up.
     
  6. #2626
    Harlz

    Harlz More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Me LPA Super Member

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    Harlz, Dec 21, 2007



    Ok so today I heard how old my parents were when they first had sex, togther... And I'm disturbed.

    My age.

    Like, what the fuck?
    This is really, really weird...
     
  7. #2627
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Linja, Dec 21, 2007



    *whimpers* I'm so confused.
     
  8. #2628
    Harlz

    Harlz More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Me LPA Super Member

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    Harlz, Dec 22, 2007



    I don't think I can take this much longer...
    Constant pain, for years.
    I can't deal with it anymore.
    I want some fucking morphine.
    2 minutes without this agony would be beautiful.
     
  9. #2629
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Linja, Dec 22, 2007



    :hug:



    --



    This cannot be. My stomach is not supposed to be flipping like the fluffy kind of pancakes I love to eat. Wrong person! Wrong person!
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2007
  10. #2630
    Dean

    Dean LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    Dean, Dec 22, 2007



    You need to narrow your criteria down :p

    :hug: and Harlz as well.
     
  11. #2631
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Linja, Dec 22, 2007



    I don't have any criterias! err.

    Damn. Anarchist bassist or drummer? Bassist or drummer? NO-ONE.
     
  12. #2632
    Tim

    Tim My perversion power is accumulating LPA Super Member

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    Tim, Dec 22, 2007



    Its days like these I feel a socialist education system would be a true benefit to myself and others. Not having any money to go to school blows. Looks like it's financial aid or nothing. I suppose your not a true American until you're a few thousand dollars in debt, though. :lol:
     
  13. #2633
    Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Arlene, Dec 22, 2007



    Jordan, dear. I'm sorry for whatever happened. You can PM me or whatever, if you want. :hug:

    Tim, :lol: so true. Sucks though, I'm sorry. *sigh*
     
  14. #2634
    Will

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

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    Will, Dec 22, 2007



    My dad took the news of my expulsion a lot better than I thought he would, though I'm sure he'll take random stabs at me when ever I've made him made. He always has a knack for being a jerk just when I'm thinking he's going to be in a good mood for a change. It doesn't help he got laid off right before Christmas.
     
  15. #2635
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    aki*lp, Dec 22, 2007



    I guess that applies to everywhere, not only to the States.
     
  16. #2636
    Linja

    Linja Good. Be magnanimous. Über Member

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    Linja, Dec 22, 2007



    I'm not supposed to be jealous because of a boy I don't like o_O I'm rarely jealous. Maybe this isn't jealousy. Maybe it's indigestion :lol:
     
  17. #2637
    Disenchanted

    Disenchanted The Black Parade is Dead! LPA Super Member

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    Disenchanted, Dec 22, 2007



    Tough decision, Mali-bun. Bassist or drummer...well, shiet. :lol:
     
  18. #2638
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Luke, Dec 23, 2007



    You've done something that you know I'd never imagine you would do in a million years. You've destroyed my hope of being with the girl of my dreams and you've ridiculed and taken advantage of my good-hearted nature. You've changed into someone I'd never even consider being friends with and you've lied. We used to be like brothers but you've gone and crossed the line. I hope she finds out what you've done. I hope others find out what you've done. I hope everyone hates you for it. I hate you for it. I can't believe you've managed to piss everything away. I can't believe you've sided with someone who has no regard for anything except their own well-being.

    Tonight when you go to sleep, I hope you dream about the consequences of what you've done. You'll be haunted by this for years if not forever. In all my wildest dreams I never even imagined things would be this way but now you're gonna find out what it's like to cross a line in my book. The ''you don't fuck with me and I wont fuck with you'' ethic has been thrown out the window and now you're leading yourself into a war with your own mind. I'll be watching and I'll be the first of what will be many people who will tell you to never speak or approach ever again. This is the first day of the rest of your life and know, that when it eats at your head like a plague, that this is all your own doing. You've fucked up big time and now it's time to pay.
     
  19. #2639
    aki*lp

    aki*lp LPA Super Member LPA Super Member

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    aki*lp, Dec 23, 2007



    QFT.
     
  20. #2640
    Casual D

    Casual D I WON'T BE YOUR CASUAL D. LPA Administrator

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    Casual D, Dec 23, 2007



    Okay, I am going to be the first to admit that this was long overdue, however I think it needs to be said because I've obviously ignored this issue and avoided it for way too long to the point it basically affected me as a person. I'm thinking that I maybe just need to just let it all out to you guys, so I can focus on moving on and getting past it. Besides, letting it all out is the point of this thread isn't it? *Sighs* Anyways, here goes:






    Today while having a slight arguement with someone who is truly close to my heart, I realized some things about myself that I've been struggling with for a long long time, as well as things that I need to work on before it turns me into someone that I don't really want to be.

    The problem that I have is that for the past three years or so of my life, I have struggled personally with issues concerning my image and how I perceive the way I look around other people. Even though I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me for who I am, and wouldn't want me to change myself, I still feel at times as if there is something wrong with my appearance and that I need to change things about myself to feel better in my own skin.

    It's why I buy expensive clothing for myself and the reason I spend so much time to style up my hair and spend money on products to give myself better looking skin. Many people would take this as a guy trying to make himself look more trendy, but in reality it's because of my obsession with my appearance and the fact I'm so desperate to try and make myself look better.

    I see these celebrities on tv and the movies (Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, Adam Levine, Jared Leto, and even Johnny Depp) and something inside of me suddenly becomes very insecure and I feel like I have to better myself because I pale in comparison to those people. Like I was told by that person today: I almost act like/feel that if I'm not one of those guys then I'm fucked. That I feel that I'm not a sex god, or anything special if I don't have people swooning over me or posting my picture on the wall, which I admit now is just totally ludicrous. Stupid AND ludicrous to be exact.

    For some reason or another it seems now that I like to set impossible standards for myself, instead of realizing that just maybe to someone out there (like maybe my girlfriend), I am already the most amazing person in the world and perfect to them just the way I am.

    The problem is I am so used to hating myself that I continue to do this and its bringing down the people I love the most, even causing me to argue with my parents more because I just am so sick of my appearance and feel like an ugly fat pig.

    I should be happy. I got one hell of a girlfriend, a great job and family and friends who think I'm really awesome. I run a great website, have gotten some notoriety from it, and yet I still can't accept the person who looks back at me every time I shave my face in the morning.

    It needs to change. I don't know how or what will bring about that change, but this self loathing I've had has gone on for two long. Funny thing is that when I helped out Andrea in the past I always said that it wasn't a problem because sooner or later I'd need her, and it turned out to be true.

    Andrea, I'd like to thank you for bearing with me throughout this whole entire ordeal. To many people out there...dealing with my problems would prove to be too much, but you always stayed strong and helped me through it all and I'm so thankful for that.

    I just need to change you guys, and hopefully getting all of this out into the world might accomplish that.
     
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