Got Something You Want To Let Out Part 2

Fuck me, that's a joke. There are some people who just really don't deserve to be in a relationship. I mean, if you can't stay committed, don't hurt the other person by pretending you are. Times like this I actually don't miss being in a relationship.

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So she's not sitting her end of year exams because she's "not in a fit mental state". Oh shiiiiiit.

 

Hey Marjy which Disneyland? That's awesome!

 

For fucks sake, I hate parents.

 

I'm sad I won't get to see you after this year because you're going off to college...

Yeah you will, I'll track you down.

But we probably won't still want to date or anything.

I will.

Even after, like, 3 years?

Well in two years you can go off to college. You can live in the dorm with me.

They're not going to let me live in the dorm with you.

They will if we're married.

Did you just propose to me?!?

Well we could..!




HOLY SHIT.

I've known this guy for over a year, and he is the sweetest guy I've ever met, and we share a lot of the same ideas (every time we talk on the phone we stay on for hours, which I've never been able to do with anyone else) and we're both about as smart as each other, and I REALLY don't want to lose him, and I want things to work out with him... but still... holy shit... I'm way to young to be thinking of marriage.

 

If they stay together, it's only going to get worse. He needs to dump her now.

 

I think you should just tell him what you just said on here. That you're too young to even be thinking about such a thing, and you guys have only known eachother for a year.

I don't think he would take it the wrong way, at least he shouldn't. It's kinda strange he would ask you that though if he's only known you for a year, but that's just me. *shrugs*

 

That funeral was, I dunno.

Dan was amazing, the poor kids' dad has just died, yet he played Blackbird perfectly as a tribute to him, in front of the whole church.
His dad would've been damn proud of him, that's for sure.

 

Things are a bit too complicated. And I'm not feeling happy about it. At all.

 

That was a really nice talk with my family. My dad stops drinking and smoking, my mom stops smoking, and me and brother stop biting nails. That way we support each other in our own way.

 

i am a parasite. i am egocentric. i am a hypocritical misanthrope. sure, i hate people, but i hate being alone a lot more. i fuck to feel alive. i am addictive and i am addicted. i feel like the world is crashing down around me and i am too afraid of looking up and seeing what the hell is going on. i am cynical. i am desensitized. i am a pessimist. i am a malcontent.

i am fragile like any other human being, but i have the most cracks, and one of these days, i'm going to fall the wrong way and finally shatter.

i have the midas touch of despair. if i touch you, you will weep. if i hold you, you will grow cold. if i claim you, you will leave.

and most importantly, i destroy anything and everything i love.

hunny, you feel like a tattered bunny rabbit toy.

i am the one pulling out your stitches.

 

Right now, I am fearing that my bowling coach is starting to see me more than just a "student" just because he might think I'm naive. (Since I look younger than my age and pretty innocent looking...plus, I've actually heard he has a fetish for Asian women)

At least after this school year started, he's been starting to constantly acknowledge my presence whenever I'm near him (which I would think is quite hard in an all-girls high school) or confront me whenever I'm sitting/standing alone somewhere and start a conversation. Yet, I'm starting to think he's doing it a bit too much, especially since I try to pretend that I don't see him in most cases. Considering today...

1. Apparently, he was waiting for me to walk into the hallway going to my locker before lunch to speak to me. (literally looking out at the direction that I'd take in order to go to my locker from class...because the only other way would be straight to the cafeteria anyways)
2. No one could even consider one bit that he just "bumped into me" or was "coincidentally there" standing where he was.
3. I did wave to him, no response, then attempted to walk completely pass him, but was then stopped. His stare was so weird though.
4. After talking, he then said that I was really supposed to meet him later with some of my other teamates about it anyways, so why the sudden urge?
5. He wasn't even supposed to be there, but already in the cafeteria on lunch duty! (seeing as I was late from Geometry and lunch was already halway finished)
6. How the heck did he know I would go through there or even where my locker was anyways? I mean, I could have gone another way to the cafeteria.

I'm known to seem paranoid, but it's kind of sketchy to me at the same time...:<

 

@ moniku: It's probably nothing, but try to have a friend around when you see this guy...

 

i fell like crap. and i miss him a lot. it's so hard not to talk to him but i was the one that made that decision.

me and my boyfriend broke up the other day. i have been with him for 17 months. i love him, and still want to be with him so bad. but the whole time our relationship has been fucked. he cheated on me twice, but i forgave him both times. cause i'm an idiot. and then he may as well have cheated on me again on friday night but i stopped it before he did. i want to forgive him and get back with him, but i know i shouldn't. i know it has to end sometime and he's really bad, but i don't want to be alone. i just want to cry. he has always treated me pretty bad, but it's a huge comfort thing. i'm such a dick. i need him. he moved out yesterday, that sucked. we were still talking but i said we have to stop, cause or else i'm never going to accept that we arent together and move on and more then likely i will take him back. i need him but, he was my only support and the only person who knew what was wrong, and now i'm alone. and i've still got some fucked up thing wrong with me. sigh. i'll shut up now.

 

I really don't know how to help much, but you did what you thought was right the whole time, like with forgiving him when he cheated on you. You love him, and that matters, and you did the right thing to keep the relationship going, so don't hate yourself. You always did the right thing.

I hope it turns out alright. You're in my prayers.

 

You all need a big, big hug =[

 

You should probably tell an adult if you haven't already, and see what they suggest.

 

still lonely.


fuck, things won't change.

 

Being a girl really sucks sometimes. This is one of those times.

 

God damn she's gorgeous.

 

Maybe you just need a good whack.