Corrupt A Wish

Granted, you are given a rubber chicken

I wish I was good personal friends with the band members from LP

 

Granted, now you're a personal friend of the Low Places band.

I wish Linkin Park album leak today, June 11.

 

Granted. Hybrid Theory leaks in the internet.

I wish for good weather.

 

Granted, you're sick and stuck indoors.

I wish I could play Halo 4 right now

 

Granted, you have time and availability to do it, but your console/pc is broken.

I wish I could go home and sleep.

 

Granted, you fall into an irreversible sleep until you're kissed by a hairy fat man

I wish I could finish this essay right now

 

What's the bad part of this Nish?

Granted. But an alien entered your house and burned that shit.

I wish I could get my paid vacations.

 

Granted, you get paid in Zimbabwean dollars

I wish I could come up with the perfect wish

 

Granted, It doesn't exist.

I wish to bend my joints in awkward places!

 

Granted, you are now a circus freak who is placed in a cage and people throw peanuts at you. Also, you're allergic to peanuts so you die or something, I don't know, I haven't fully thought this out.

I wish I had a cheese filled croissant that I could eat right now

 

Granted but now you're allergic to cheese and face is now huge!
I wish I know how to spell.

 

Granted, but you can no longer read

I wish my LIVING THINGS CD would come today

 

Granted, the disc is scratched.

I wish i had 2 copies of LT.

 

Granted, Neither one of them can play.

I wish I didn't have to go to the doctor.

 

Granted but you die.

I was there was no divide between the LP fan base...

 

Granted, but there's a new divide.







Get it?
New Divide?



I wish I had a king size bed.

 

Granted but it's too hard for you.
I wish I had some toast.

 

Granted, but it's moldy

I wish I the day was over

 

Granted, but tomorrow will be worse.

I wish Living Things had 20 tracks.

 

Granted but it'll be filled with Bieber's version of MTM
I wish the week was over with