Corrupt A Wish

Granted, you're a dolphin at Sea World and must perform tricks on demand for no pay.

I wish I could speak German.

 

Granted, then Germany and Austria decide to speak another language. (Although I wish the same as you )

I wish I had more money.

 

Granted but your forced to spend it on lots of toilet plungers that you don't need.

I wish I was the king of LPA

 

granted, you are the king of Livestock Production Assurance (LPA)

i wish i had more days off

 

Granted. You get fired / expelled from school.

I wish I had the new Liverpool shirt.

 

granted, all Liverpool players transfer to Manchester united and you got the new Manchester shirt

i wish someone can do my work for me

 

Granted but they messed it up and you were fired.
I wish I can have more oatmeal.

 

Granted. Now every meal you eat has oatmeal. Oatmeal Parmesan. Oatmeal and chips. Oatmeal Hamburger. Oatmeal fries. Oatmeal flavored coffee. Oatmeal on everything.

I wish I lived in a bigger town.

 

Granted, but its too busy and you cant go anywhere

I wish my internet wasn't so shitty.

 

granted, internet does not exist

i wish i was not so stressed

 

Granted, you are now bored to death.

I wish i could fly.

 

Granted, it lasts for 3 minutes because an airplane hits you.

I wish I could eat as much as I'd like to, without getting fat.

 

Granted, you are now skeletally thin.

I wish i had a high-end car.

 

Granted, now your usual car has a really high spoiler at one end

I wish I was musically talented

 

Granted, Every instrument explodes.

I wish I could make music.

 

Granted, but you become famous and turn into a total dueche and lose all money to heroine addiction.

I wish my power wasn't out

 

Granted, you have no internet - permanently.

I wish Living Things will never leak.

 

Granted, it never gets released.

I wish i had more money.

 

Granted, you've just found a penny on the ground, but as you've gone to pick it up, gotten crushed by a comically falling piano.

I wish I knew all the answers to next weeks exams

 

Granted, you know the answers to the wrong exam, though.

I wish for chicken.