Corrupt A Wish

Granted, you arrive 5 hours late.

I wish Linkin Park would perform where i live more often.

 

Granted, they perform half a song

I wish life was easier.

 

granted life is so easy that it's hard

i wish i could forget what i've done

 

Granted, you forgot What I've Done, including anything to do with that song, including distortion remix, Linkin Park, and Transformers.

I wish Mike Shinoda would marry me.

 

Granted. It turns out he was cheating on you with Sarah.

I wish it would be a good day tomorrow.

 

Granted, it will be a GREAT day! If you were a lizard alien. But you are not! The lizard aliens take over the planet!

I wish my hair was long again.

 

granted you hair is long then it gets caught in gum

i wish i didn't do that and not doing it again

 

Granted, but now you can't do ANYTHING.

I wish I had a hover board.

 

Granted but it was broken after you rode it one time.
I wish I didn't have to go to work.

 

Granted, but you make no money and become homeless.

I wish redback spiders were friendly.

 

Granted but they love you so much, they moved into your shoes and clothes.

I wish I had a pillow.

 

Granted, but it's a teeny tiny pillow.

I wish I had unlimited chocolate bars.

 

Granted but everybody took a lick off of it.
I wish I had more time for this.

 

Granted, but everything stops except for you.

I wish I got text messages more often.

 

Granted, but you lose your phone.

I wish the sky would stay clear.

 

Granted but it's so bright, you're blinded!
I wish I can remember my phone number by heart.

 

Granted, but you forget how to use your phone

I wish I would go to bed.

 

Granted, but you never wake up...

I wish my eyes were blue-er.

 

Granted. You are immersed in water to make your eyes blue and you drown in the process.

I wish to be DA BESS.

 

Granted, but so is everyone else so DA BESS becomes average.

I wish I wasn't so ugly.