Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

Discussion in 'Chester Bennington' started by Kevin, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    *Possible trigger warning ahead.*

    So I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to explain things... My 8 year old has recently been finding his love for music and he has taken a really big liking to Linkin Park. When Chester died, I didn't share that information because he is oversensitive about a lot of things and overanalyzes E V E R Y T H I N G. So, as it turns out, a couple of weeks ago, his best friend told him that he died and he was okay with that, surprisingly. Now, one of his classmates told him that Chester ended his own life. I don't think my son has ever had an instance where he's heard about suicide and I couldn't come up with the words to explain it to him. He explained to me that his classmate told him "The guy from Linkin Park died because of the anger." I tried to explain to him that I don't think that is exactly why he died. I went on to tell him that I couldn't tell him why he died(nor was I going to tell him how, exactly) but that some people have a really hard time processing and figuring out some things in their heads. I was obviously struggling to find the right words to tell him, while trying to protect his childhood innocence at the same time. I'm not so sure if this is a conversation I want to revisit, mainly because I'm not exactly sure how to put it...
     
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  2. Doridorica

    Doridorica Well-Known Member

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    That conversation must have been really dufficult because small children can't understand the concept of death and think a deceased just left somewhere for a vacation and that he'd be back. I can only congratulate you on being open and brave enough to answer a question because you can never provide a satisfactory explanation since adults can't explain what happened. You can repeat exactly what you had told him before: some people have a really hard life, they feel bad all the time and they can't handle the pain. It would be the best to be left unanswered because he's a child but we can't protect them forever.
     
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  3. Sweet Silence

    Sweet Silence New Member

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    It's been so many days since his passing and it still hangs over me... I just made this account to come and support everyone and let you all know you're not alone.

    I didn't really put a face to Chester's voice until he passed to be honest. I even went to one of LP's Music For Relief concerts but their faces never registered with me. Their voice. Their lyrics. Their music. Their message. All of it has always resonated with me. But Chester in particular was a voice for me in moments I where I had no outlet. He screamed for me where I couldn't. His death totally blows...

    Chester's death is the only celebrity death that has truly broken my heart. The only one I cried about and my mind definitely thinks that it is ridiculous that someone I barely know and have no relation to can affect me this much. But LP was my childhood and knowing I'll never hear any more from them is so saddening. For Chester--- who has probably saved so many lives to take his own is devastating to me... but we should celebrate his life. His accomplishments and the fact that LP's music was able to touch every one of us and live on through us. And it will continue to live on through us <3

    I don't have any kids so maybe I don't have the best advice in this regard. But I would probably be as honest as I can with him. Kids always appreciate it when you do treat them like adults and give them an opportunity to understand. I would probably tell him that Chester was unhappy and in a lot of pain and did not know how to deal with it so he ended his own life- he was kind of "sick" and couldn't find the cure in that moment. It's very complicated. It's an adult thing that he might not understand this explanation now when he's young but when he's older he might understand. But it's important for him to know that no matter how unhappy or sad he will always have you, family and his friends. You guys will always support him and that ending his own life isn't a solution and should never be one.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2017
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  4. Andreina

    Andreina Proud Venezuelan LP fan. With adorable feet. LPA Contributor

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    I can see where you're going, but the first part I think it's not quite right, at least not for a child. Because at an early age they take things too LITERALLY (because they trust adults, especially their parents) and if you tell them that "being unhappy" is a reason for someone to end their life if they don't know what to do, then the message for them can be very twisted. "Unhappiness" for small children is a really narrow concept, and if you ask them to describe unhappiness they'll probably say something really simple like "having vanilla icecream instead of chocolate". So I wouldn't use that word to explain a little kid why would someone take their life.

    I think a gentle way to describe what happened to Chester, @Hybrid, could be telling them that Chester was sick, and slowly introduce him the concept that not all illnesses are physical. I think it'd be a nice opportunity to open their minds while they're young and contribute to ending the taboos around mental health. As they grow and become able to understand more concepts, you can throw some bits of information that they can process so they'll understand better.

    I hope this helps.
     
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  5. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Thank you all for the advise and words... Like I said, it caught me off guard and was really unsure how to react to that... Like @Andreina touched on, I don't want to say the wrong words, just because so much is taken to a literal interpretation. I also don't think blowing it off is the right thing to have done, considering that is more or less what I did.
     
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  6. Doridorica

    Doridorica Well-Known Member

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    It's difficult to talk to kids about death because we as adults can't understand it (especially sth that Chester did) and children always ask direct questions. I like what Andreina said about illnesses, next time you can say he was really bad for a long time, he couldn't think straight and he was ill. Then say if he has a problem he can always turn to you for a support because they can misinterpret it and it's important for them to know their parents are their safety net. He's too young to understand what exactly Chester did
     
  7. Doridorica

    Doridorica Well-Known Member

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    I don't feel very well today. Chester's passing is always somewhere at the back of my mind, like a dark cloud thaf I managed to put aside a bit after a memorial on Saturday because there were people who understand what I'm going through, we sang and talked and it was really nice, like a final goodbye. However, these last two days at work have been really stressful and I expect a lot worse until September comes so everything became too much today. After last night's LP statement the reality of Chester's passing was obvious again and on top of everything else, it felt like I was trapped in a cage.
    I felt a lump in my throat so I deliberately watched Chester's interviews to relieve my mind and to be able to cry because I needed it. Not thr best decision in the world because it made me feel worse but it'll do me good in the long run because it's nkt healthy to keep everything bottled up.
     
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  8. Xero-G

    Xero-G Linkin Park: Fanbase United

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    Was it ever confirmed if Chester left a note or message for his family and friends? I'm not asking about the contents, just whether he left anything behind to explain his final actions. Knowing this would bring me (and I'm sure countless others) a lot of closure, even if not all questions are answered. I can't believe he would have decided to do any of this at the last minute. This must have been decided quite some time in advance, given the date he chose. My god, it hurts so much talking about Chester in the past tense, it still feels surreal...
     
  9. madridista89

    madridista89 Member

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    I really don't want to think about Chester having planned to end his life! For me it's like friends of him said in an interview - he battled alcoholism really bad in a hour to hour battle. He had a few drinks and someone who is that an advanced alcoholic it doesn't take much to loose his mind for a few moments and do that. Do you understand what him having it planned implies? He would have made a conscious decision to kill himself accepting all it's consequences. He would have spent time with his family knowing he will end his life and leave them behind. I refuse to believ that he would have done that.

    I did long for answers this whole time but reading this I can say for myself I' rather never get any answers than having that answer be him planning to commit cuicide in advance! That he didn't left a note means to me he didn't to it with a clear mind. I would be so much more mad at him for doing what he has done if he actually had the time to sit down and write a suicide note. It is already so fucking hard to understand the fact that he did such a thing but him doing it on purpose fully knowing what he is about to do and accepting what it entails? That would wreck me...
     
  10. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    He brought it up again last night... "Why did he die because of the anger?" I then took the time to explain to him that he was suffering from a mental illness. He then asked if it was like the homeless person that we saw downtown who was sitting on the ground yelling at everyone. I explained to him that there are many different mental illnesses and that the one Chester had was different from the one the homeless man had. I also told him that Chester was not an angry person and that he was one of the most caring and nicest people that I've ever met. I then told him that he had a really hard time processing things in his head and that he didn't know how to deal with feelings like pain and hurt as easily as others. I am not sure if it was able to sink in, but after that, he was thinking about it and stopped asking any more questions.
     
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  11. Doridorica

    Doridorica Well-Known Member

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    He probably needs some time to process everything and that's why he asks questions every few days. It's great that you began explaining him depression at such young age so he can understand. Next time if he asks you can expand it and tell him some people feel pain in their head and heart all the time because people say mean things to them (not in Chester's case but he doesn't need to know and he needs an exolanation suitable to his age), they are worried, sad and anxious all the time about all the things in their life and you can even provide him an easy example. I know it's not easy but if he asks questions again you can prepare yourself.
     
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  12. Carla

    Carla Well-Known Member

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    Well done for having that conversation. It sounds like a really hard one to have with a child but I think it was a good way of doing it. I really think that mental health should be seen in the same way as physical health but sadly it isn't. Maybe this conversation could help at least one person to hold them in their minds at the same level
     
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  13. ZelesteBeauty

    ZelesteBeauty Well-Known Member

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    From what I know, he did not leave one.
     
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  14. Lynn

    Lynn Well-Known Member

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    Couldn't say it better...
     
  15. Hybrid

    Hybrid Meow! This cat has claws! LPA Team

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    Thank you. :)
     
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  16. ZelesteBeauty

    ZelesteBeauty Well-Known Member

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    It's my bday, I am gonna try and enjoy it. I have been in a funk today.
     
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  17. ZelesteBeauty

    ZelesteBeauty Well-Known Member

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    My b-day ended up going well :)
     
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  18. darkviruz

    darkviruz Well-Known Member

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    I was better in the last 2 weeks. I heard yesterday 2x LP in the car radio. Now I'm feeling a bit worse. But whenever I read all the nice comments of the soldiers here, on Twitter or elsewhere, it makes me feel to stay strong.
    I can not express what it means to me to be a part of the LP community. This is unique.
     
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  19. Nadja

    Nadja Active Member

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    I'm feeling so much better since i started a support project for LP fans and everyone who needs to be heard. Maybe it's because i'm so into it and too busy to stuck in my head.

    So i hope you all guys will feel better soon. And i'm so deeply thankful everyone here who listened to my thoughts.
     
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  20. AndreyKamensky

    AndreyKamensky hakuna matata

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    You guys are awesome! reading all this really helps.
    Love you all!
     
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