Chester Bennington Support Thread - We're here for you

Thank you! This thread helps so much and I'm trying really hard
@barush thank you so much <3 I really hope so.

 

Anytime - you're welcome

 

Was doing OK until around 5pm here. That was the equivalent time to him being found. Since then I have just been dying inside all over again. Feel so desperate again and as though I can't be bothered to carry on as normal. I feel as though I will always be broken

 

I'm holding on why is everything so heavy

 

This made us feel a bit better :')

 

I just wanted to pop in and let you guys know how proud I am of you all. Proud of everyone here and on all the other fansites and on Twitter. Seeing everyone reach out and help one another makes my heart so happy. It makes me so damn proud of all of you. Of this community. You guys are all so strong, even if it feels like you aren't. You're here, and you're helping.

It's been a week and I'm not exactly sure how I feel. On one hand, I've made a lot of little steps forward. Sometimes there has been a step back. But I have to pick myself up and keep moving forward. It's hard. But it'll be done. And everything will still hurt but it's okay to hurt. It's okay.

My immune system has decided to give up right now and I have a cold on top of everything. At first I had tissues at work because I was crying and now I have tissues at work because I'm sneezing and sniffling (and occasionally still crying). Shout-out to whoever invented tissues and cough drops/throat drops though, for real.

I noticed something last night after I got out of work. After I'm done at work I usually leave a little handwritten note for my boss about my adventures in counting money that isn't mine. I don't really need to because all the info is laid out on the counter for her to see when she gets in in the morning but I do it anyway because that way all the information she needs is right there in one little cohesive note. Usually these notes are upbeat and have exclamation points and a smiley face here and there. Because that's just how I am. I'm shy and quiet but I'm expressive when I do talk to people. And I want to be a positive force in life. Positivity can really go a long way. But I haven't put a smiley face on any of my notes since I worked on last Wednesday night. It's been a week of leaving notes with no smiley faces. I don't know if she's noticed. I don't see her often because I work nights and she's long gone when I get in. But I've noticed. I didn't even realize I hadn't been doing it until last night after I'd already been locked out for the night.

I've decided that, starting tonight, I'm going to start putting those smiley faces on my notes again.

It's a baby step. But baby steps are just as important as big ones.

Hope you guys are holding up okay. I'm reading everyone's struggles today and my heart goes to all of you. My love and positivity and support is being sent to you all. <3

 

I am going to pick myself up off the ground and fuse my armor back together. My battle symphony must be somewhere in here still. I need to listen for it and walk along with it playing LOUD. thanks to all of you on here for listening and supporting. You are my heroes along with linkin park as a whole and of course chester

 

Smileys on notes is cool. Good for you. Baby steps seems to be the way to go.

 

Just a bit of venting to get everything out of my system so no need to reply really. Today was a rollercoaster of feelings- happiness-sadness-happiness-sadness and finally breaking down a bit before 9. I know we shouldn't keep track of time like Hybrid said but I couldn't help it. After that I joined AddOneMoreLight campaign and just listened to OML and TTM staring into the wall, feeling empty. It hit me hard because up until know I accepted what happened but also had a lot of denial moments. Today, especially while talking about funeral, grave and graveyard that was it. I remembered what funeral implied. The end. It's so hard not to cry in front of my parents who got back home this evening when I want to do that, want to break down again. No, this isn't a cry for help or anything serious, I'll get better just allowed myself time to grief as much as I can. I said it before: I picked myself up earlier and I'll do it again. This is just venting out because it's not healthy to keep anything inside.
Two people asked me why it's so hard since I don't mention LP in front of others and asked if there was sth else happening and it got me thinking. I stopped listening to them for a longer period of time although they were always somewhere on my mind. I started again last year because they helped me again just like before. I joined this community, listened to them every day, watched interviews and went through waiting for OML with you. It's been very intense and mixed with things so many years before- this is a result. I can come as hypocrite to some people but I don't care, the most important thing is what I know.
Anyway, don't know what and when closure will
come but sooner the better, for all of us.

 

I'm proud of you as well <3 Together we're strong.

 

They are! Thank you. Baby steps are better than no steps at all. Even a step at a time can eventually take you a mile.

Thank you. It feels so nice to hear that. And yes, together we are strong. Together we'll make it.

Exactly. One step at a time. = )

 

Hi everyone,

Just letting fans in Perth, Western Australia know that I've organised a bit of a memorial/get together at Varsity Bar Waterford on Sunday the 6th of August at 12pm:
tinyurl.com/ybsaqn6n

They're allocating us a special section of the venue and we'll be playing Chester-related music videos throughout the afternoon. Please help spread the word or let me know if you can think of anywhere else I should post this to give the event some traction.

Stay strong guys

 

If possible I'd like to see where it's shared just because its something very close and dear to me. I just said it on here to vent

 

Thank you to everyone for your kind words

 

I have strong obsessive compulsive tendencies, which have caused me to have problems with both anxiety and depression throughout my life. I've become better at controlling negative/dark/anxious thoughts but they are always there and it can be a real struggle to stop them at times like this, in the past when I've had lows it's caused me a lot of fatigue and it's been a struggle to do anything let alone live a normal life. Sometimes it can be hard to reason with yourself, I'm quite a rational person but sometimes my thoughts can be completely irrational which can be scary.

For me I find it's really important to focus on people and things you love in life, give yourself stuff that you can look forward to doing and fit plans around your everyday life to organise towards them, that's what keeps me motivated and stops the real dark stuff creeping back in. It's impossible not to let something like this affect you, but finding ways of remembering all the positive stuff Chester did and celebrating him whilst continuing to do things you enjoy will be much better then over thinking/obsessing and letting sad thoughts cast a shadow over everything.

Stay strong everyone.

 

I've been listening to Hamilton (the musical) today, and these lyrics really hit me

"Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes. And we keep living anyway, we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died, I’m willing to wait for it."

Just thought I'd share, because it kind of gives me a sense of purpose. Even if someone I admired died, I'm still here and there must be a reason for that. Hope everyone is holding on today <3

 

Thank you so much for sharing and for your positive words, both of you. I'm so glad I'm got here to this thread. It really helps getting back on track. We're strong. Together we'll go through this.