Cheating

Cheating is way worse than dumping.

 

Yeah, it's all been said. Break up.

 

1) I don't see a whole bunch of budding love in that copy-pasted conversation.
2) She cheated on you.

Two ginormous reasons to why this should already have ended.

 

I have been through this several times, my last girlfriend being the worst case of it. I'm not going to lie, it's really rough, and it hurts A LOT. I do not think cheating is justifiable at all. I have never cheated on anyone and I never will. I just don't agree with it at all, and I think it's a really mean thing to do to someone. If you aren't happy in the relationship, then leave the relationship. I guess that's where some people become selfish. They aren't happy with the relationship, so they cheat, but they do it because they want to KEEP the relationship for whatever reason, but still don't want the rules of one. Time will heal, but it will take a while. I am still barely healed from what happened to me, but that's because she cheated one me with someone who threatened to kill me and my family, and she actually filmed it and made a video out of it as well, which hurt me even more, because everyone knew about it. Luckily I eventually got a restraining order for all the physical assault and all the time he said he would kill me, and he is now in jail for tons of stuff.

 

3) She blames him for it.

 

Slap on intense waves of unnecessary swearing and we've got ourselves the next big thing!


On MTV.

 

I see what Xero is saying but in a roundabout way you're trying to justify her actions when you can't.

When my ex dumped me she placed the blame on me. I acknowledged that a lot of the blame laid on BOTH of us. Where I did massively blame her is that she gave up. We said we would work on it and were trying and she said she couldn't do it anymore. But she had the balls to say she couldn't continue rather than going through the motions. It hurt but I have to respect her for that. And that's what Andreina is saying. There are two routes: 1) Talk it out then you a)continue or b) break-up & 2) You don't talk it out and just break up.

But cheating is that third route that is just not justifiable. If he was dumping a lot of emotional weight on her, sure. That's tough. But again A)Talk it out or B) Just break up with him. I would much rather be dumped than cheated on. Any day of the week. If you were that physically/emotionally attracted to someone to cheat on me, why not just dump me and take me out of the picture? My ex had a new boyfriend like the next two weeks. Did she cheat? I will never know but I really don't think so. And at least she had the courage to say she was done before moving on.

It always goes beyond cheating into just general communication. The way people talk to each other when fighting/trying to work things out will speak volumes. If you both turn it into one big blame game it's best to just move on. If you don't it will patch for a while until the next explosion.

 

Break up with her this instance. There is no way once can justify cheating. This means there is no trust left in your relationship... no trust, no love. Get out of this ASAP.

I know you probably feel a certain way about her but giving her a second chance will be the worst thing you can do right about now.

 

Haven't read any of the thread after the OP. Break it clean and move on. No matter what. 99% of the time when couples try to work it out it just makes their lives miserable and the relationship fails anyways. There will be resentment and trust issues forever. You have to realize the feelings you have for her aren't really for her anymore. They are for the girl you first met and had sparks fly with in the initial stages of attraction. You want that girl back and it's just not going to happen.

I was cheated on and we kept dating off and on for 2 years and it was the stupidest thing imaginable. Our feelings were based solely on how we used to feel about each other during the "love at first sight" stage even though our relationship had moved way beyond that and lost all of its energy and excitement. I facepalm every time I think about it. There's literally no good reason to try and make it work unless you have kids. There's so many girls out there who you can have a healthy relationship with that spending time on an unhealthy one is just dumb on every level.

Thinking of all the other great girls I could have spent time with in high school instead of that one miserable girl makes me sick. Now I'm 25 and those 16 and 17 year olds will forever elude me all because I wanted to make things work with some imaginary image of a girlfriend that didn't exist anymore that I thought I loved.


Edit: I read quite a bit more and I feel for you. I forgot to add that after the 2 years of off and on dating she again cheated on me by fucking some 15 year old when we were 18. People don't change no matter how much we want them to. They just get better at suppressing their true selves.

I got a lot of the blame for her cheating because I didn't read her mind and figure out that she thought we were having problems. So she excused her actions because I didn't address the problems that I didn't know we were having. There comes a point where no matter how strongly you think you feel about someone, you just have to look in the mirror and tell yourself to be a man. There's no reason to take this abuse from some cunt like that. Cheating is bad enough when she feels horrible about it, but when she flaunts it in your face as if you caused her to do it and it's your fault, you really just need to man up and tell her off. Just don't Chris Brown her. Any offensive language is fair game, though.

 

OP's ex speaking.
Yes, I fucked up. I am fully aware of this and completely feel remorse for my actions.
Let me fill you guys in on more, since OP is using a lot of circumstantial stuff.
Jayhov and I are one of those couples that are so disgustingly in love that other people get weirded out. We dated from April 2012 to apparently today, though we were on and off. We both had a lot of issues. A lot. He was emotionally abusive. I don't use that term lightly. He would criticize me for doing everything, belittle me, and overall just make me hate myself. It got to the point I was cutting myself just to try to find an outlet for the pain he was causing me. I'm not going to blame him for all of our problems. I had an issue too, where I would just get mad at him and block him, and that was completely unfair.
Anyway. After one particularly bad fight, I blocked him and decided, "Hey fuck it, I hate feeling like I'm a worthless piece of shit, I want to move on." and made an OKC account. I met a guy that I have since blocked. I flirted with him, and we met up and kissed. I hid it from OP even though we were at the time talking because for me, our relationship was over. I was emotionally exhausted and I hated myself when I was with him. Yes, it was unfair to go on a date while I was still with him. But you guys have GOT to understand that I do NOT want to hurt him. I didn't know that things were going to get better for us, I thought I was completely over the relationship and eventually he would just give up on me like I had for him.
After the date, I realized I was not over him. I was--and am--still very much in love with him. I continued talking to the guy, but that was just because I didn't know how to stop talking to him.. I'm stupid, but I can't just say, "Well hey you're nice and everything but I'd rather be with my ex that treats me like shit so bye."
Well, he found out. It really hurts to go back to this, but he messaged the guy's friend who said we were dating (which we were NOT) and got into my tumblr, and long story short yeah. I messed up a lot.
After everything with that calmed down, I promised him I would be completely honest with him. And I have been. I gave him my passwords for everything, he could easily get into any account I have, and I've answered everything he's asked truthfully, even if it hurt him.
Long story short, yes. Me cheating did a lot of harm and I really hurt him, and I truly am sorry. He told me he forgave me, but I know I can't forgive myself for putting him through that. Ever since we started being truly open with each other, we've both been able to see the faults in our relationship and I can honestly say that before today, we as a couple have gotten a lot better.
I mean shit, two days after he posted this forum without my knowledge, he spent the weekend at my house. We're so much more understanding of each other now that we've figured out why I did what I did, and how we can BOTH work to make sure neither of us strays again. I am not a bad person for cheating on him, but I'm not going to justify it. It was my way of trying to escape. I can 100% tell you that if we hadn't gone through that experience, we wouldn't have this newfound appreciation for each other. During that time, we took each other for granted.
So yeah. Don't just automatically line every single person that's ever cheated up and say they're horrible people and should just be banished from all relationships, and that there's no hope for them.
Hope this gave you guys some insight.

 

Yes, yes it did. Thanks.

 

I'm happy she got her side out now.

 

[video=youtube;kdfCrOzW5sM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdfCrOzW5sM[/video]

 

This thread turned from ''So sorry for you man, forget about her.'' to ridiciulos gifs and pictures... #ClassicLPA