Here I am Lying on the bottom Naked and crying Scared and suffering God save me Save your little child Will you sedate me, so that I can no longer feel the pains of this life The cold winds and waters that I fade away and drown in Will you calm me, so that I do not give in to the voice of death And let this overwhelming misery consume me Here I am Calling to you again Naked and fearful Father save me Here I am Lying naked on the bottom Looking up into your cold cruel eyes As I call to you As I speak to you All I hear is silence I can feel the pain tearing through… Biting on the inside… I can hear the voices screaming… Threatening… I’ll bury myself below… And cough up the blood I’m drowning in Lying on the bottom Pouring out blood and… I’m lost inside my head
I liked it, though it wasn't as moving as some of your other work. The repeating of the one verse but changing it slightly each time worked well, but it also left me feeling their wasn't enough in this poem. Still, a good job over all. Hope to see you entering the poetry competition this time.