Poetry / writing isn't something I do often, so I won't be revisiting this thread too much. However, I've been kicking around some ideas for a while, so I figured I would get around to finishing them. Please excuse my amateurish writing. With this one, I wanted to stay away from rhyming, but I found that rhyming helped better organize my ideas. Her Ever so fast my love grew, a quality given to only a few. Hair as golden as a vibrant sun, you captivated me as if a loaded gun. Why me? Surely there are others better suited for you, I am merely a frightened boy trapped inside a bigger man's shoe. I doubted myself, I pondered if I should be going down this path, but I knew your were the one when I finally heard you laugh. Two years later, with rings in hand, we celebrated our love with family and band. In this moment, nothing could bring me down, or so I believed But I pressed onward, intent on finalizing this wondeful thing we achieved. With vows in hand, and "I Dos" done, I leaned in, longing to caress your lips, to become one. But just as our lips touched, you dissipated into smoke. Horror-struck, I awoke
I just got a cool idea for a poem after a misheard lyric on my part from a Tool song. Hopefully something good will come of it.
Innocence Lost Dew covered the pale summer morning. This greyness would signal to others the shape of things to come. But he, the one with child-like innocence in his soul, failed to recognize the harbinger of his decline. Did he deserve this? Probably not. Most should never experience that kind of pain, but innocence leads to ignorance; He must face the terror he has wrought. Constantly confronted, endlessly bombarded, he snaps from the pressure thrust upon him, as if a tree in a whirling tempest. He gave his all, but it was all in vain. This, was inevitable. With darkness spawned, he is forever lost. Winter, has forever entered, his heart.
I really like it, except for the very last line. I think there's too many comma's. "Winter has forever entered his heart" would suffice, I think.