Was it completely necessary to make a topic about this? Yes, yes it was. My mind is blown, and I cannot believe that this is not a joke. Preview: Check it. I would never be able to effectively use that object. Every time I wanted to use something, it would take me at least an hour to find it. "Fuck shit...where the hell are the scissors? Are they between the screwdriver and the bottle opener or the knife and the corkscrew? Damn it..."
I rather carry a gun to war than this big shunk of metal, that's for sure. But it has 85 function which is pretty amazing, though.
Imagine trying to find one specific function on that thing. Ridiculous. Even worse, imagine dropping that thing, fully unsheathed, onto your foot.
I think the best part was the paragraph under the picture. "Presumably this is so seasoned golfers can tune their bicycle's rivets before heading off on a deer hunt / cycling trip armed with blinding lasers and an entire collection of 3-inch knives." Hahaha.
It weighs 2 pounds, and it's 9 inches long. At this point, I think it's far more practical to carry around five or six of the tools that you know you're going to need instead of a 9 inch long gadget board that wouldn't fit in my pocket anyway.
Good lord. No words can describe really what I feel just... Wow. Slightly pointless? Yes. Amazing nontheless? Damn straight.