This is I hope a finished piece I've been working on lately. It's real great, and I love the chorus. Go through it decipher the meaning and love it, because I love you. k lol Anyways at the end the song pans into my other song I can't make it stop. Hope that's a good thing. So please give feedback on this and the other. You don't have to like them, because negetive feedback is great feedback. You Hurt me More Everything still seems the same way I made it Still meaning the same thing you’ve always hate it Put Ground Zero beneath the waves I've tried so hard to make it this far, but in the end it all falls apart Collapsing to the floor/ breaking like jar Afraid and trying to escape from the pain in my brain Laying down on the floor, nauseated and drained Only to wake up and feel so ashamed I woke up today laying the same way I always do with you/with my life starting the same way it could always do without you You hurt me more (Pain filling inside of me) You hurt me more (Hurting the same way that I out to be) You hurt me more (Trying to escape the thought me) You hurt me more Phrases begin repeating and speaking inside my mind Telling stories just to shout out lies But I try to put the hidden aside I try to secretly hide them to buy my life some time Making it just so hard to look back on this, I try to flee the scene at last second Desperate to put the clock past the present If only I could look forward/Towards what the future brings Creating inside of me what only my eyes can see I’m Caught in the struggle of watching you juggle your thoughts of me I’m Caught in the struggle of watching you watch me You hurt me more (Pain filling inside of me) You hurt me more (Hurting the same way that I out to be) You hurt me more (Trying to escape the thought me) You hurt me more Thrown around I'm tangled in the cords that you’ve found Torn and struggling to break free on the ground Just to be knocked back to lye broken hampered in the cloud of the sounds If you strike me again, I might now bleed out of things to say Hurting me so much within, the pain begins bleed out and stain in gray But as I watch myself, I realize that I’m the only one stuck in this hurt Culprit of the worst curse that was dealt Much worse then the pain your words I’ve felt It was me who brought you closely in the beginning Though now I’m the only one still here spinning And in the meantime as I look for another way out of this pretending There’s nowhere left for me to go, so I stay here sitting You hurt me more (Pain filling inside of me) You hurt me more (Hurting the same way that I out to be) You hurt me more (Trying to escape the thought me) You hurt me more (Dying inside of me) You hurt me more I can't make it stop
Great poem. I really liked it. Did this stem from the verse you wrote earlier, because they seem similar. Great job.
*applaud* BRILLIANT, MAN, BRILLIANT.i could imagine a song of it and the video in my head already! great job!