You had me walking on air but as things come to a close we accept what we know.....

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Jesse, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. #1
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Yes, it is a very long title. :lol:


    You had me walking on air
    but as things come to a close
    we accept what we know
    life just isn't fair

    Held my soul as if I saw a bird lift it's wing
    Take flight from atop a tree
    Soar into the vast and empty skies
    a paradise

    Saw a light from a small crevice
    Peeked in and and blinked twice
    That hole was my heart alight
    Setting fire to a desolate night

    And somehow I survived
     
  2. #2
    Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    Not much to say here, just pointing out that crevice doesn't rhyme with twice, if that's what you were going for.
     
  3. #3
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    I know. I wasn't really trying to make things rhyme. It just came out that some of it did. Or maybe I was trying to do it subconciously.

    but anyway.. I was trying to write a story.. without many words.

    to explain this
    this particular poem, is about a guy, and a girl. the guy was in love with this girl, and he thought the love felt really natural, which is the first stanza, like a bird flying for the first time, and flying to wherever it could, with total freedom, a paradise. (love)

    the second stanza, is about a break up, the love was there, which is the light, but as he looked deeper he saw that it was fading, blinking twice, to him, it felt like firing burning up his heart, and so he became very lonely. but in the end, he survived it
     
  4. #4
    Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    Well I thought you were, because if you look at the last two couplets, they look like they were meant to rhyme. Apologies.
     
  5. #5
    Jesse

    Jesse Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    It's okay. Sorry if I sounded mean or anything.. :lol:
     
  6. #6
    Minus

    Minus ohai LPA Addicted VIP

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    Nah nah I forgot to add my smiley there as well.
     

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