untitled *poem*

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Sexy_Kittie_722, Jan 3, 2006.

  1. #1
    Sexy_Kittie_722

    Sexy_Kittie_722 Banned

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    The Rain Trickling down my face
    as the lighting strikes when the thunder crashes
    and lights up the sky with its beauty
    the moths laying dead on the street
    the butterfly's laying dead on the grass
    the fly's laying dead on the car windows
    all the Insects dead somewhere
    The wind blowing as its sad as if something
    upset mother nature,everyone laying dead
    on the ground blood going down the sewer drains
    as the rain wash's it away,the murder that night
    was Mother nature ,the way people treated her
    she couldn't bear it so she killed everyone,except me

    The Rain soaking through my clothes
    as my hair sticks to my face from it being wet
    the stores on fire the car alarms going off
    the leafs tumbling along the ground as the wind
    blows , I walk shivering and staring at the site
    wondering how this could happen to everyone
    but not me,did mother nature favor me
    was I her favorite cause I would sit by the river
    and talk to her and tell her story's and poems
    and let her know how thankful I am that she is around
    did she spare me cause I talked to her ,everyday

    The Rain flooding the rivers as they over flow
    the storm never touched or harmed me
    but the storm killed everyone even the little
    kids,yet the true killer was mother nature
    I still don't get it why she spared me,why she
    let me live ... why out of everyone else she choose me

    The Rain washing away her sin her murder on the town
    soon the sky rains fire to de story the body's so that new
    people can come here and see if she likes them
    and can let them remain here..forever

    by,Sexy Kittie

    Ps:feedback please and let me know if i made a mistake even though i spelled checked my poem
     
  2. #2
    esaul17

    esaul17 antichrist

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    Pretty good. when you said murder it should be murderer though. Also it seemed a touch unorganized, like you just started new lines whenever you felt like it. Are you planning on entering the writers competition?
     
  3. #3
    Sexy_Kittie_722

    Sexy_Kittie_722 Banned

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    thank you for your comment

    and its quite weird when i write dark poems i get in this trance and i just write and let out what is on my mind and i really don't know what the meaning is to this poem

    but thanks once again for the comment ,Sir
     

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