Unbounded Eye-sight.

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Theazninvasion68, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. #1
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    Unbounded eye-sight.

    Every sunday afternoon when His father took him around town,
    To shop, to wonder, to hangout.
    The boy was like any other, and without a doubt.

    Every Sunday Afternoon, when His father took him around in the car,
    The traffic cars lined up, the thick glass, the thick steel separating people from the outside
    He Smiled, perversely; Thoughts he dreamt.

    Every once in a while, on a Sunday Afternoon, When his Father took him to a teacher.
    To learn, to practice, pianist.
    He stumbled around, but he obsessively enjoyed looped songs; Smooth ones.

    Every Sunday afternoon when His father took him to and from.
    The images, the sights, The altered.
    He mischievously thought; without bounds.

    Every Sunday afternon, when his father took him in the car to places,
    To sight-see, to wonder, to question.
    He thought of Glass, Desecration, destruction.

    Every sunday, When his father took him around in a car
    Traffic was not normal to see, to hear, to imagine.
    when he thought of shatters, Decay, collisons.

    And on Every Sunday, when he went with his father in a car,
    Where the blood painted the gravel, Where the skulls were crushed under iron tracks
    He would see them, with a firey passion, unto the earth.

    And on every sunday, when he was with his father.
    The sky red, the bodies rotted, and sinister evil roamed.
    His father would smile at him,

    Because every Sunday, when he saw his son sitting next to him in the car.
    His pride and joy, raised from years; He saw his son sleeping.
    Pressing the gas pedal, as the light turned green.

    And Nothing was wrong in the first place.​




    Critizism please? :) Like to hear it. I hoped you enjoyed too.
     
  2. #2
    heshboy

    heshboy Well-Known Member

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    It was a nice story with a nice twist. At first I thought the kid was always looking out his window and could see the monstrosities of our world, but in the end I was dreaming and the kid was only asleep.

    A very good read if I say so.
     
  3. #3
    Dean

    Dean LPA Addict LPA Addict

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    It's pretty decent but I think there could have been more consequence in the way that the child is only dreaming about the death and destruction and whatnot while his father seems to be oblivious to it.
     
  4. #4
    Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    His father is suppose to be oblivious because well...

    It's not like you see what other people are dreaming of, right? :lol:
     

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