This poem needs a title

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by adelleda, Aug 11, 2004.

  1. #1
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    Here I go... This is another try, hopefully better than the first.
    A thanks to superxero88 who answered my question perfectly ^_^

    Is it wrong to feel at home
    In a place that is unknown?
    I'm stranded early in the morning
    But lost in the heat of the night
    My heart's missing near the pavement
    By the street, beside the light

    Can I convince myself
    That there's more here in life?
    And I still don't understand
    As I burn from the inside
    Why is there no home for me?

    My ghost lives here somewhere
    To see if my wings turned up anywhere
    Where is no where?
    Everywhere everywhere isn't
    No where
     
  2. #2
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Missing Pavement?
     
  3. #3
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    I don't get it
     
  4. #4
    emmmers

    emmmers Super Member LPA Super Member

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    It's a title suggestion, I thought you were looking for some.
     
  5. #5
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    OH! I was confused, you didn't comment so I thought you didn't understand something. It's a great title suggestion thank you.
     
  6. #6
    Ander

    Ander LPA VIP LPA Super VIP

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    Heart is to artery, as pavement is to cement.

    Cement Artery.
     
  7. #7
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    :lol: Um... Thank you!
     
  8. #8
    Hybrid_Bunny

    Hybrid_Bunny Super Member LPA Super Member

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    Well, I couldn't come up with a title but that was really well-written. ^_^
     
  9. #9
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, any critiquing? Any one?
     
  10. #10
    Kate

    Kate beat me senseless LPA Super Member

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    I like it a lot. Title suggestion: Where My Ghost Lives

    You like? *nudge nudge....sigh*
     
  11. #11
    ammie

    ammie Member

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    I like ur poem, it's cool.

    "Heat of the night" :blush:
     
  12. #12
    adelleda

    adelleda Well-Known Member

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    Does this count as Necroposting? Sorry I was away and forgot I posted a poem here. Thanks everyone who posted and commented. I changed the poem and heres the new verison.

    Why are there no homes
    When we feel lost and still unknown?
    Searching in the morning
    Still alive in the heat of the night
    My heart bleeding on the pavement
    Invisable from the searchlight

    Can I come without myself?
    To live your life instead of mine?
    And I still don't understand
    As I burn from the inside
    Why is there no home for me?

    My ghost lives here somewhere
    To see if my wings turned up anywhere
    Where is no where?

    Everywhere everywhere isn't
     

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