The Tears of the Fallen

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Will, Feb 28, 2004.

  1. #1

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

    Aug 25, 2002
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    The Tears of the Fallen

    I saw you that night from across the room
    You saw me looking at you and you whispered something to your friend
    I smiled to myself and turned around
    The night was young
    I thought I would talk to you sometime that night
    I remembered your face so well
    I turned around to head over to the pool table
    And you were standing in front of me
    You smiled and bit your bottom lip
    I looked into your deep blue eyes and became lost in a trance
    I asked you if you wanted to dance
    I walked over to the jukebox and slid a quarter into the slot
    I picked a classic—Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There for You”
    And as the song began
    I grasped your hands and whispered into your ear
    “I’ve never seen someone as beautiful as you before”
    You smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek
    It was as if we’d known each other forever
    You laid your head onto my shoulder and we danced for what seemed like an eternity
    Suddenly the song was over
    And the room began to clear out
    I opened my eyes
    And I was right back where I started
    I looked around and you were nowhere to be found
    The clock read 10 o’clock
    I turned around and asked the bartender what happened to you
    He told me that he hadn’t seen anyone that matched your description
    I turned back around and tried to gather my thoughts
    I looked up and there you were standing again
    My mind suddenly went into a whirl
    Instead of sitting there I stood up and made my way across the room to you
    Someone tapped me on the shoulder
    I turned around for a split second to see who it was
    It was you standing there
    I turned back around and you were still there
    I stood there for a second trying to figure out what was going on
    Suddenly I felt someone slap me
    I lifted my head from the bar
    My friend told me I passed out hours ago
    I looked at the clock and it read 2:30 in the morning
    My friend helped me out of the bar and into my car
    He drove me home and I headed up to my room
    It took me forever to get up the stairs
    Once I reached my room I headed into my bathroom and washed my face
    I walked out and laid onto my bed
    I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out just what happened
    I closed my eyes and fell asleep
    When I awoke the next morning my phone rang
    I picked it up and answered
    You were on the other end
    You told me you were sorry about what happened and that you’d hoped to see me again
    I told you it was okay and asked you where we could meet
    You just giggled to yourself and said goodbye while hanging up the phone
    By now I was even more confused
    I called my friend and asked him what in the world was going on
    He told me he never saw you at the bar last night
    I walked into the bathroom and there was a scar on my face
    My right eye was black and blue and my lip was swollen
    I headed downstairs and checked my mail
    As I opened the door I saw a note tacked to it
    I grabbed it and read it
    “I’m really sorry about what happened last night” it read
    “I hope that we can meet up in the future again so we can make things right
    I feel really bad but I wanted to thank you
    No other guy has ever stood up for me like that
    Thank you”
    I slapped my forehead and sat on my porch
    I sat there even more confused than I’d ever been in my entire life
    I leaned against my door and tried to think of what might have happened
    I banged my head against the door as hard as I could
    Suddenly I felt the door splinter behind me and I fell through
    I laid there with my head against the floor
    The aroma of smoke began to fill my nose
    I sat up as fast as I could and ran back into my house
    I could smell a fire but I couldn’t find it anywhere
    As I ran upstairs I tripped and fell and rolled down the stairs
    I was laying there with my left leg shattered
    The smoke began to fill my lungs though I couldn’t see any above me
    Suddenly my front door fell in and I turned my head
    You came running in
    You put your head against my chest
    A tear rolled off your cheek and fell onto my face
    Suddenly I remembered you
    You were my sister
    You left me when you were only seven years old
    I guess it was just the universe’s way of connecting me with my family
    Alive or lost
    Suddenly I awoke and stared at my ceiling
    I looked over at my table
    A picture of you stood with a rose leaning up against it
    I laid there and a tear rolled off my cheek
    That day I paid a visit to your gravesite
    I laid a dozen red roses against it and looked up to the sky
    I remembered the dance that we shared in my dream
    I realized that it was the party after my wedding
    We were sharing that special dance
    Where the sister of the groom and the groom dance together
    I smiled to myself and wiped another tear
    I thought to myself how wonderful it would be if you could be there at my wedding
    I turned and slowly started to walk away
    Rain began to fall
    And I knew that it was you shedding your tears for me
  2. #2

    Derek Administrator LPA Administrator

    Jul 13, 2002
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    Extremely creative Will. You make the reader think its someone completely different until the very end. I also like the way you cant tell if what is going on is real or make believe.

    Props to Will "Tha Ultimate Poem Writa."
  3. #3

    Andrea best friends. LPA Addicted VIP

    Dec 12, 2002
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    Simply amazing, Will. Just...WOW! :eek:

    I am lost for words lol.
  4. #4
    Nowhere Kid

    Nowhere Kid Well-Known Member

    Feb 21, 2004
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    I also, am lost for words. That was awesome! No...beyond awesome! Well done. :D
  5. #5

    coley8605 Guest

    Hell yeah, very nice.
  6. #6

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

    Aug 25, 2002
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    Thanks for the comments.
  7. #7
    arT saveS

    arT saveS Y2K

    Dec 19, 2002
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    Really long.
    Really worth it.
    I always love your stuff because it always has a twist, your a really good writer.
  8. #8

    Jamie Super Member LPA Super Member

    Jun 12, 2003
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    Really long and deffinantly worth it
  9. #9

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

    Aug 25, 2002
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    Thanks for the comments.
  10. #10

    Adam !!!! LPA Super Member

    Nov 27, 2003
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    ^_^ I like it
  11. #11

    RockdOutChic116 Well-Known Member

    Aug 17, 2003
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    Whooh. :eek: Awesome work.
  12. #12

    Will LPA Addicted VIP LPA Addicted VIP

    Aug 25, 2002
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    Thanks again.
  13. #13

    Anthony. .Orestes LPA Super VIP

    Aug 25, 2003
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    Wow :eek: . Most original stuff I've read in a while! Congrats Will, excellent work!

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