The Needles concealed within these Scars. Tender love causes this fragrant sin, Holding on, though it’s lost within, Remembering the times gets harder by the hour, The needles concealed within these scars. Elixir to consume and escape it all, The echo lost till now, hear it call, The screaming voices chanting your name from far, The needles concealed within these scars. The cup like jeweled ruby flowers all along, Faint now with the rusty smell of blood, so strong, The crimson droplets hidden in the darkest tar, The needles concealed within these scars. Wicked castles, dark with gloom, Wait to live till the bloody clusters bloom, The secrets of depression revealed, castle doors ajar, The needles concealed within these scars.
I don't really think it needs a chorus, often you write your poems in one big block and it adds to your style. I really love this. Full of imagery and great meaning. Writen beautifully, though a gloomy subject. Great job.
thanks david.... the thing is dude, i wanted people to know that keeping things within yourself can hurt a lot, and letting it out may be very destructive...now with no hard feeling, and i wish for no debate, i wanted to tell people that my point of view is that it is okay to scar yourself. i don't mean mutilate yourself. that's a different thing altogether. my friend does the mutilating part, i don't. she peels her skin off with acid and bites her finger tips and sucks her own blood. i do not in any way promote that. when you are in pain, you can just get a great deal of relief by just scarring yourself a little. it helps me. and later on, the wound becomes something that you treasure. it becomes a possession. the needles in my poem referrs to mortal and emotional pain, thus "the needles concealed within these scars" once again, i say this not to offend anyone, this is alone my view point. thanks again, david.