The House

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Luke, Apr 26, 2005.

  1. #1
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Sitting in an old abandoned house
    That was once familiar to me
    But all the shit that goes on now
    Has messed my memory
    The times have become so chaotic
    This life full of change
    The life life that I had never chosen
    This world that seems so strange
    I find a photo on the floor
    But I can't recall the face
    But suddenly I remember
    This was once a happy place
    This was once a happy place

    Take me back a few years
    To a time of innocence
    Where fucked up leaders of the world
    Wern't causing disturbance
    This place it reminds me
    Of a better time
    So I sit here now remenising
    To pass the lonely time

    This house which now stands dead
    Used to be a home
    To who I can't remember
    But it was someone I used to know
    Someone who was brave
    Someone who was fair
    A person who was never afraid
    A person who never dispaired
    Then it all comes back to my head
    Suddenly I see
    That the once occupier of this house
    Was none other than me
    It was me

    Take me back a few years
    To a time of innocence
    Where fucked up leaders of the world
    Wern't causing disturbance
    This place it reminds me
    Of a better time
    So I sit here now remenising
    To pass the lonely time

    Away from the world
    Away from reality
    Away from the world
    Where no one can find me

    You don't need to feel sorry for me
    I don't need your simpothy
    All I want is whats rightfully mine
    I want the years back from my life

    This house has given me strength
    I am no loger afraid
    I will fight my just cause
    I will fight it to the grave

    Take me back a few years
    To a time of innocence
    Where fucked up leaders of the world
    Wern't causing disturbance
    This place it reminds me
    Of a better time
    But no use of doing nothing
    Cos now is my time to fight

    Fight for you
    The house



    NOTE:
    For those who may be wondering,the house is a metephor for forgotten memories and lost causes.The song is played in acoustic and I don't sing it :lol:.Please take the time to comment on what you think about these lyrics :)
     
  2. #2
    fallenangel

    fallenangel Well-Known Member

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    hey, this is pretty cool! i like very much ;)
     
  3. #3
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Thanks ^_^

    any more comments?
     
  4. #4
    D_A_V_I_D

    D_A_V_I_D Pure Pwnage

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    Yer. it's nice, couple of lines i feel that could be better though but on the whole it looks like a pretty good song.

    Here are the lines i think you should fix.
    Don't like the doulbe repeated ine unless it is like a soft repeat in the song to give it a resonating feeling.
    Feels like that line in moking bird by eminem.
    Didn't flow with the rest of the song. you are practically restating what you said in the line before.

    And that's it. few :lol: lol. Keep up the good work.
     
  5. #5
    minusxerø

    minusxerø Overflow Supremacy LPA Addicted VIP

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    In contrast, I like the double line, it adds emphasis.

    Nice stuff, flows fairly well, a few spots here and there but they've already been pointed out.
     
  6. #6
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Ok well thanks for thye comments :)

    More appreciated :D
     
  7. #7
    lp_sk8ergurl

    lp_sk8ergurl Well-Known Member

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    Good work.
     
  8. #8
    Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Thanks ^_^
     

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