The Advice Thread (formerly GSYWTLO)

Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Derek, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Luke

    Luke Mind Your Manners. LPA Addicted VIP

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    Arlene that really sucks. I'm really sorry to hear it.

    But chin up though eh? There are certainly guys out there who'd be lucky to have you and who will appreciate you and treat you right. Just hang in there. :)
     
  2. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Thanks Luke. :)
    Honestly, I'm already starting to feel a little better. Mostly because I'm feeling disappointed and disgusted at this point. I was hoping he would realize he made a mistake and want to talk things through and work it out but he said very clearly that we are not getting back together and that things are over. And as soon as I let go of that shred of hope that he would still want me, I realized that I don't want him to want me. Because I don't want someone who only wants to use me for sex. That's just so wrong. Only good thing here is that at least he was honest, and when he realized that he was using me he put an end to it. (Well, put an end to it after he had decided for several days he was going to break up with me, but proceeded to have sex with me...6 times. Thanks.)

    This relationship failing was not my fault. So I will not be sad about him anymore.
     
  3. Louis

    Louis Message me if you need to talk. We love you all. LPA Team

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    Oh Arlene, I'm so sorry to hear about this. :(

    But you know what? Now you can start a-new. Forget about Josh, and forget about Steve. You can move on now, you can find someone who is more deserving of you and someone who suits your interests. You have a chance to be happy.

    I'm glad that you are looking at this in a more positive way, but I know it's hard, so stay strong. And if you need anything, I'm always here for you. :hug:
     
  4. Theazninvasion68

    Theazninvasion68 It's like blood to a vampire, our tragic desire. LPA Super VIP

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    Arlene. They say it's a a new year. Imo, should take advantage of it.

    Be thankful that he realized he was doing the wrong thing and it did click in his mind, and that he was honest. :) Could've been worse lol.

    But as Louis and Luke said, Chin up and stay strong.

    :hug:
     
  5. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Thanks you two. Yeah I mean I'm pretty upset that he dragged it out but at least he did act on it rather than keeping it going for even longer.

    I got pretty pissed off last night and was ranting at him (hoping to make him feel guilty because I do that haha) whenever I thought of something that pissed me off and he totally took it and let me bash him. It made me feel better. But now I'm not angry anymore. I just feel lonely. But I vowed to myself that I wouldn't be sad about him anymore. He made it very clear that we are through, so no sadness.

    I'm gonna try to look at this in a positive fashion. It's harder when you aren't angry anymore though.
     
  6. _cam_

    _cam_ Well-Known Member

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    He totally deserves it. You should have knock his head off. Well, it's too late. Right now, give yourself a break. Spend your time with your girlfriends shopping or paryting till you drop or going to a yoga class or whatever activities that can help relieve your stress. You are beautiful inside and out. You deserve someone better not those little jerks. They are not even worth a single tear.
     
  7. $pvcxGhxztCasey

    $pvcxGhxztCasey meanwhile... LPA Addicted VIP

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    Try and focus on the positives of that relationship. There might not be too many, but I'm sure there is atleast one. Don't dwell on the negative aspects; it won't get you anywhere except back where you started: pissed off and lonely.
     
  8. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Casey: There were a bunch of good things...we had a great relationship. Thank you.

    And thanks Cam. :)

    So he texted me today saying that after he's been thinking about it, he realized that he broke up with me because of his own issues, not because of my flaws. He said he wasn't ready for such a committed relationship and he was tired of trying to be the perfect boyfriend. Kinda sucks, but I feel better because a) it's not my fault like he was making it sound and b) it makes much more sense to me now.

    So I'm just gunna try to think of the good things and hang onto 'em. :)
     
  9. Joe

    Joe I'm tried LPA Administrator

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    Hey Arlene. I know we've never really spoken too much, but I'm really sorry to hear about the break up, especially how it happened. I've been going through a very similar thing over the past few months. Circumstances are a little different but I know how crap it is when a relationship just ends out of nowhere. I know that things can still be really difficult and slightly complicated when relationships end, and I'm not really sure what I'm getting at, but yeah, I hope things work out. You seem to be handling things really well anyway and I just hope you're good. :)
     
  10. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Thank you Joe. I'm trying to handle it in the healthiest way possible.

    If you ever wanna talk about what's going on with you, feel free to PM me. :)
     
  11. Joe

    Joe I'm tried LPA Administrator

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    Thanks Arlene. I'll keep that in mind. :)
     
  12. Daniel

    Daniel Run for your life. LPA Super Member

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    Shit, Arlene I'm really sorry to hear that, I did not see that coming at all. The only saving grace is yes, at least he was honest. Chin up :hug: . However, I'm not going to say you'll find someone better et cetera et cetera because, while it is most certainly true, I think you need to stay single for a while. There wasn't much of a break between Josh and Steve, and I know you're the kind of person who really puts all of themselves into a relationship. So I think you need to just stay single and have fun for a while. :hug: again, though.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Okay, so first post in here asking advice for myself. Basically there's this girl, who I'm interested in and she's interested in me. Problem is, she's one of my best friend's ex-girlfriends. They've been broken up for a good couple of months now, and I certainly didn't plan on this happening. But I'm just not quite sure what to do. We've discussed "unofficially" seeing each other for a while before actually announcing it, but I don't know. Thoughts?
     
  13. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Daniel: Yeah, I do put all of myself into a relationship. I like commitment and all that, haha. And yeah I'm gunna try to do the whole single thing...I just hate to be alone. :(

    With your situation, are you just hesitant because she's your best friend's ex? If so...well, if you really care about her he should understand. I was pretty close with Steve's ex (Alora) and we were fine when we were dating. *shrug* I think as long as it doesn't create some huge mess between you two to go for what makes you happy.
     
  14. SecondCityKids

    SecondCityKids Hey John, What's Your Name Again? LPA Super Member

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    So this move is starting to bother my friend some. She is my bestfriend and I can tell that she is upset about my move as much as she may deny it. Everytime we talk about it she looks sad. I have a friend over there in California named Kim. Vivi (my best friend) all of the sudden hates everytime I talk about her. Maybe she thinks she is going to be replaced by her. I should probably stop talking about it right?
     
  15. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Jacob: Eh, I think maybe you should avoid talking about it. I mean, you moving is inevitable and she needs to accept it, but maybe if you talk about it less it'll be easier for her to handle.
     
  16. SecondCityKids

    SecondCityKids Hey John, What's Your Name Again? LPA Super Member

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    Yeah I know that. but there are things that her and I do that may be considered "questionable" in a friends only relationship. Maybe that might be a factor. I don't know.
     
  17. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Well then I'm sure that that would affect her. She's probably thinking that you're going to go be new "best friends" with this other girl.
     
  18. SecondCityKids

    SecondCityKids Hey John, What's Your Name Again? LPA Super Member

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    She is going beyond a bestfriend for me. I really have feelings for her but I don't want to pursue anything because 1) I'm moving. 2) she has a boyfriend and 3) she might not even feel anything for me. I'm confused
     
  19. Arlene

    Arlene Oh what tangled webs we weave LPA Super Member

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    Then you shouldn't pursue anything. Just let her go and do her thing. She's already with someone plus you're leaving...it's not worth the fight to try to win her if you're just going to leave, right?
     
  20. SecondCityKids

    SecondCityKids Hey John, What's Your Name Again? LPA Super Member

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    True. Thank You
     

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