Discussion in 'Serious Chat' started by Derek, Dec 5, 2009.
If it were my significant other, and they wouldn't stop, I'd dump them, but that's just me.
Mike: Well...I put up with a lot. And he doesn't do it allll the time, it's pretty rarely (he's just been doing it more often recently because he's on winter break from school. If he has school or work the next day he doesn't smoke and he has school every day during the week so yeah.)
Well all know how much I put up with with Josh so I'm not just going to drop Steve that easily.
you're only delaying the inevitable. He won't change that, you can't stand that part of him. You can only take so much.Sorry, it's the truth.
I hear you guys but I'm not at that point where I'm breaking up with him. If it gets to that point then I'll take care of things accordingly but it's fine for now.
I understand, but we want what's best for you. The more time you spent with him the more attached you're gonna become and it will be more painful to break up with him.
Arlene, here's a few things to consider too:
Does he treat you any differently when he's stoned? Does he smoke when you are there?
You can't try to change someone, most likely you knew he smoked before you got together, and it didn't bother you then, so whats the difference? If you love him, you have to accept him for everything that he is, even if its not what you want him to be like. He keeps a job and goes to school, so obviously he's not wasting his life, and he treats you well, so I don't see what the problem is other than you not agreeing with his occasional smoking habit. He's not forcing you to try it, so its not really going to affect your life or your health.
This is exactly what I've been thinking about. No, he's only smoked around me once but he didn't treat me any differently. I was upset that he smoked around me, so he hasn't and will not smoke around me again.
He does keep a job and school very well and he isn't throwing his life away at all. It's just a stupid social thing he does that I very strongly dislike. But yeah I agree with your advice.
Everyone telling me to break up with him, I understand where you're coming from and I know you care about me etc, but as Jen pointed out: he doesn't treat me poorly, he doesn't ever smoke around me, he spends a lot of time with me, he keeps up great grades in school and holds down responsibilities. I'm not breaking up with him over this.
man, i'll never get why people are so vehemently against smoking weed. if he doesn't treat you any differently, then what's the problem? maybe he doesn't like you drinking a diet coke infront of him, what's the big deal? honestly, i really don't understand and i would like to. maybe i'm just fortunate when it comes to this issue, since my girlfriend is a pretty big fuckin' stoner in her own right.
oh, yeah. i also have a little thing i'd like to get some input on: i've been dating my lady for about a month now, but we've dated off and on for the better part of 4 years. we both want to get a place together, and it's looking likely that it will happen. people at my place of work say i'm crazy to do that, since i've only been dating her a month... but the total combined amount of time over the years i've been with her is like, a year or something. also, what does it matter? i'm not even really looking for advice, just want some input. like arlene, i'll still do what i feel is right.
oh, and the creeper's name is very appropriate.
Because a lot of people don't like it. It's gross and stupid thing to do, weather you like it or not.
Casey: Well, the thing for you that I'd think about the most is why you two weren't together strongly for that year. I mean, if you had issues that you kept breaking up and getting back together and breaking up...it might not be such a great idea. However if you just weren't really "a thing," then that's a different story. I think you need to do what you think is right. If you honestly think that you two living together would be a wise, comfortable decision, you should do it. Just be sure before you make the decision, because if one of you backs out the other would be stuck with rent and a mess, yknow? Good luck.
Oh, and yeah I'm against pot, but I think I'm just basically against any smoking in general. I think it's a really silly, self-destructive habit. I also think it has something to do with the fact that my mother smokes and I hold some resentment for her when she was drinking heavily and being an asshole. (The smoking and drinking weren't necessarily connected it's just that I associate smoking with her habits which makes me think of that rough period where she was drinking heavily.)
That's your opinion. My opinion is that it isn't really a serious enough reason to end an otherwise happy relationship.
Arlene has already stated she's not going to break up with him over it, so what's the big fucking deal? I'm sorry if that comes off harsh but it seems some people here are pressuring her to end the relationship when she's already come to her own decision otherwise.
I never said she should break up with him, but if she doesn't like smoking (PERIOD) and he doesn't stop smoking, then it will become an issue later on down the road. Besides, what I posted might be my opinion, but there are a lot of people, even on this board, that feel the same way. A lot of people think smoking in general is gross. If my girlfriend smoked pot on a daily basis, I'd break up with her.
In the end, guys, it is Arlene's decision.
And again, Arlene, just make sure you do what makes you happy. We all support you, and like you said, we want you to be in a relationship that you enjoy. Just make sure that you are happy in this relationship, and that the good things outweigh the bad.
There's also a lot of people on this board who don't think smoking is "gross". But I digress.
So long as Mike doesn't act differently around Arlene I don't see the big deal. As I said before, it'd be far worse (in my opinion) if he was, say, a raging alcoholic. As Louis said, so long as she's happy it should be null and void, and it seems Arlene has largely come to a decision.
He's been smoking more often the past few weeks because he's on break from school, but as soon as school starts it'll be very rare when he does smoke. And even when he's off of school it's only once or twice a week so yeah.
Thanks Louis. The good things most certainly outweigh the bad things. That's the only bad thing, so, yeah. Haha.
Okay. Double post, I know.
He broke up with me.
All of my efforts to make things work out for absolutely nothing. Apparently I'm immature and he didn't love me as much as he thought. And he was using me for sex.
He straight up said these things. No sugar coating or anything.
I feel pretty friggin fantastic.
^^^^^ whatta douchebag. So so sorry
dudes like that make the rest of us look bad
I apoligize on behalf of my gender.
Need to vent at all you can PM me
You've been there for me now its time for me to return the favor
Stay single for a while, enjoy yourself.
seconded. i'm sorry arlene!
Blah, thanks guys. I feel like...so useless and depressed. Josh cheated on me and could never tell me the truth, and Steve is overly honest and can't deal with my little quirks and uses me for sex.
At this rate, I won't be able to trust guys anymore.
Really bad start to 2010.
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