Another step I take, Towards my reflection. You and me, are no longer history, Saddening laughter ringing away. Falling head over heals, Just for you. You changed your mood, As soon as she came. If we didn't have those rings, And those vows, tied in knot. It would be a one way ticket, To my freedom. Captive of my own love, All for the sakes of you. Hit my cheek, hide the bruising, Hit her, and I know I am dying. My own home, my own prison, My own husband, my own heart. I will never leave from him, I will never leave for her.
good job, but until toward the end of the poem i could only guess what was going on. try to be a little more specific, but if this your style then don't listen to any shit that i may say and write as you please...
I guessed what it was about half way through, and I felt you began to hit your stride at the halfway point, because thats when I really began to like it. Great work.