Sounds of Love

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by The Emptiness Machine, Oct 15, 2007.

  1. #1
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Please read this poem with an open mind. It's a very new thing for me.
    Also please comment on what you think of it.

    Sounds of Love​

    Beat thumb beat
    Like a second heart you are to me
    Tick tock tick
    More precious than infinity you are to me
    Smak hiss smak
    A kiss on your tender lips
    A feeling of mutual bliss
    Bang bang bang
    An explosion of love
    Murmer murmer shhh
    A secect sent from above
    Ding ping dong
    The chimes that echo your smile
    Swiggle swaggle tap
    The sound of bodies entwined
    But there is no sound for us
    For the intensity of you plus me
    Just a silent breeze
    That echos our love for eternity
     
  2. #2
    Seinfeld

    Seinfeld We are the nobodies LPA Super Member

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    Why nobody has commented on this yet, is beyond me.

    The only thing that seemed a little awkward to me, was the fact you tried writing different 'sounds'...maybe it's just me

    Other than that:

    I like it a lot. I personally feel it's about two lover's having sex for the first time together...falling madly in love with each other over and over again.

    Even if that's not what you were aiming for, it's always good to have something open for interpretation.

    :thumbsup: 9/10
     
  3. #3
    The Emptiness Machine

    The Emptiness Machine Out of the abyss. LPA Über VIP

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    Thanks so much for your appreciation of the poem Mr.Nobody!! It means a lot to me, a lot than people might think.
     

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