Some random stuff again..

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Liz, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. #1
    Liz

    Liz ChainsawLiz LPA VIP

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    Liz, Dec 7, 2012



    I don't really know what this is. Again xD it's some random stuff I just wrote down at work xD the last sentence is a bit meh. But I'm not sure what to change it to yet..


    From ashes he shall rise
    Through fires he shall walk
    Blood he shall spill
    Wherever he will go, destruction shall follow

    He will be the fear of all men
    He will be the tale you tell to scare your children
    He will be the horror of the world
    In the silent night you will hear his cries

    But when the new age dawns, so shall peace!

    So.. I added and changed some stuff.. x)

    From ashes he shall rise
    Through fires he shall walk
    Blood he shall spill
    Wherever he will go, destruction shall follow

    He will be the fear of all men
    He will be the tale you tell to frighten your children
    He will be the horror of the world
    He will be what you dread the most

    His cries you shall hear, in the dead of the silent night
    The cries of terror
    The cries of suffering
    The cries of ruin

    They shall be heard all over the lands
    They shall be the remembrance of fate
    Of the prophecy
    Of His Doom!

    But, even then, in the darkness
    In the shadows of evil
    The new age shall dawn
    And so shall peace
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2012
  2. #2
    lime treacle

    lime treacle You are not alone Über Member

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    lime treacle, Dec 7, 2012



    This is awesome!

    The last sentence feels off, yeah. Maybe you could keep it, but write another stanza or two in between? Because it feels like a good final line.
     

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