Some lyrics I wrote

Discussion in 'Your Projects' started by Scott D, May 4, 2012.

  1. #1
    Scott D

    Scott D Well-Known Member

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    I got bored so I decided to write some lyrics, the verse is supposed to be a rap and the chorus is supposed to be sung.
    I was a little bit hesitant on posting this but, here it goes:

    Verse:
    I'm a picture
    I'm being traced
    Like a shoe
    I'm being laced
    Use that eraser
    now defaced
    Not too fast
    I keep a pace
    Stay In place
    Out of line
    How you doin?
    "I'm just fine"
    Are you sure?
    'Cause now you're mine
    Find a cure
    Or find a sign.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2012
  2. #2
    Apop

    Apop LPA VIP LPA VIP

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    Don't hesitate on posting this stuff, Scott, this looks good! It might just be me, but I get a little lost at the end of the verse.
     
  3. #3
    Calvin

    Calvin The rhythm projects 'round the next sound... LPA VIP

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    I got a little lost at the end of it but I rapped it to myself and it sounds a bit like Bleed It Out to me which though I don't like lyrically, is respectable.
     
  4. #4
    Scott D

    Scott D Well-Known Member

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    Yeah towards the end I did get a little lost lol, thank you for the feedback.
    This is the part I wasn't sure about:
    Say that now
    inside you're cryin'
    but won't say it out loud
    Used to be
    a king with a crown
    Saying "No." to every sound
    You were lost
    and now you're found
    Always wanting to get around
    And now you're
     
  5. #5
    Calvin

    Calvin The rhythm projects 'round the next sound... LPA VIP

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    Are you trying to convey an idea of sympathy about the king or insinuate because hes gone through agony he takes it out on others? Or something else? I'm still tryna figure out what you wanna get across :p
     
  6. #6
    Scott D

    Scott D Well-Known Member

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    nothing in mind really was just trying to find things that rhymed xD and failed, utterly.
     
  7. #7
    Calvin

    Calvin The rhythm projects 'round the next sound... LPA VIP

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    Say that now
    But inside you cry
    You won't say it out loud
    And you don't know why
    A king with a crown/You're underground
    Can't hear a sound and you're filled with doubt
    When you were lost
    You wanted to be found
    Always wanting to get around
    And now/You're...

    Thats just a suggestion
    You could use that sort of thing but I have no idea how you intend it to be rapped/Don't know your style but yeah
    Just sayin' :)
     
  8. #8
    Scott D

    Scott D Well-Known Member

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    Sounds pretty good, thanks. Not sure how I would rap it I'll figure it out though :p
     

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